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The Word of the Week is ugh. “Ugh” is an interjection which dictionary.com explains is used as an “exclamation expressing disgust, aversion, horror, or the like.” Personally, I like to use it under the horror option, such as when my own death is imminent.

As a gamer, my death (or rather, my avatar’s death) is imminent pretty frequently, so I consider myself to be practiced with the word. Having said that, no amount of gaming could have prepared me for the rate and sincerity with which I must “ugh” while trying to drive.

When Alastor “Mad Eye” Moody called for “constant vigilance,” his advice may have been meant for Harry Potter, but its profundity held relevance to the entire human race.

This week’s Word of the Week is vigilance. The word, in essence, means watchfulness, alertness, and concern. Its uses are many, and after Moody’s, its penultimate appearance comes in the form of the Magic: the Gathering creature ability “vigilance.”

Imagine, if your vigilance were to lapse at any point, you may end up lazy, endangered, or even tapped while attacking.

The Word of the Week is placebo button. Yes, I realize that this is actually two words, and is more of a thing rather than a word, but the concept astounds me, and I wanted to feature it. I saw this on Digg awhile ago, and every time I get in an elevator or cross the street, I think of placebo button.

A placebo button is a button which doesn’t actually do anything, but is included to give users the feeling of control. For example, the close door button in an elevator or the walk button at a cross walk may be a placebo button. This lends credence to Elevator Small Talk Tony and his profound question “do these close door buttons actually do anything?”

The Word of the Week is sexting. This word refers to people, usually the kids these days, sending sexually suggestive, or indeed, even sexually explicit text messages to one another.

I enjoy the word because it is only ever used on the news, and it perfectly illustrates the media’s total lack of understanding of youth and youth culture. I especially find the groaning sound I make each time it is uttered to be enjoyable.

The Word of the Week is slatternly. Take a look at that word, and try to guess its meaning. No, it’s not a synonym for “slut,” actually, it means “slovenly and untidy.”

People, in general, are pretty gross, so I think this word is incredibly useful. Honestly, I’ve spent so much of my life hating people that I’ve worn thin words like, well, “gross,” and so I welcome an alternative. Slatternly is the kind of word that just sounds like an insult too, and its adverb form, “slattern,” even more so.

The word of the week is ruminate. Most people understand this word to mean to meditate or ponder. Did you know, it also means to chew the cud?

I’ve never chewed cud myself, finding food digestible after only a single chew. Having said that, I like to put a fist-full of Skittles in my mouth sometimes and just work on it for awhile, in a fashion not unlike the slow rhythmic cud chewing of cows. When I do this, I often ruminate on the flavours of the candy.

The word of the week is executrix. I discovered this word while researching last week’s “aviatrix.” Incredibly hard to pronounce, an executrix is a woman who is the executor of a will. It’s just as sexist as aviatrix and other gender-specific words.

Unfortunately, an executrix is not a female executioner, which was my hope before having read the definition. Let’s consider for a moment what an old-timey female executioner might look like, and how hot she would be. Yeah, all these -trix words make me think “dominatrix.”

The word of the week is aviatrix. Did you know that there are more sexist job-words that differentiate between men and women in the vein of actor/actress? An aviatrix is a pilot who happens to be a woman! Just like an aviator is a male pilot!

I’m not going to suggest that this word is particularly useful. Really, people barely use the word “aviator,” and anyone who alternates between male and female versions of the same word is an idiot. The reason that this is the word of the week is because it seems sexually suggestive without actually being so.

The word of the week is pulchritudinous, which means, dictionary.com tells me, “physically beautiful; comely.”

I consider this to be a remarkable little adjective, just think of the applications this has in every day conversation! See a hot chick? Call her pulchritudinous and see what happens! Even if she understands the word and finds you repulsive, you won’t be stigmatized the way you might be for, say, whistling at her.

As with last week’s “topfree,” this week’s word escapes the bonds of negativity associated with the “-less” suffix. The word of the week is childfree. Additionally, “childfree” indicates not only that a person does not have kids, but also that that person does not want kids.

I want to utilize my not insubstantial influence in society to personally promote this movement and disseminate its valuable message. The propaganda produced by breeders to popularize children as a positive force in society has led to an unfortunate situation in which people actually believe there to be a benefit in the existence and continued production of children, and it’s time something was done about it.

While those childfree among us try to go peacefully about our day, we are oppressed at every turn by the hordes of breeders and their sprog. Go to a store: be forced to park further away because Mrs. Preggers has a special parking space reserved for her. Enter store: be confronted by the horrible screaming monsters known as “youth.” Go to the park: find it occupied by undeserving children. Pay taxes: help pay for other’s mistakenly un-aborted.