 February 27th, 2010 by Newbs -
Have a look at this video (note: NSFW due to anime tits), it’s called “Akihabara Majokko Princess,” and stars Kirsten Dunst singing “Turning Japanese” while she visits Tokyo dressed as a magical school girl. The video was directed by McG, and was produced by Japanese artist Takashi Murakami.
At first glance, the video appears to be a fun, Japan love session from the perspective of a western visitor, with the Dunst character having found the place of her dreams. Having watched the video an unhealthy amount of times at this point, however, I think there’s significantly more to it than that. I view the piece as telling the story of a westerner enamoured with an imaginary Japanese culture constructed in the west and existing in her head. The Dunst character from the early parts of the video may also be representative of the west more broadly.
→ Continue reading Kirsten Dunst sings “Turning Japanese,” The West’s Fantasy Japan: Akihabara Majokko Princess
 January 3rd, 2010 by Katte -
As of the first day of 2010, it is illegal to speak blasphemy in Ireland. The law was passed in July of 2009, but came into effect just in time for New Year’s. It seems to be a bit of a touchy subject, as the “rules” to the law is that the blasphemy must “intentionally cause outrage” amongst followers of the religion that is targeted. Mind you, at least they’ve broadened to all religions and not just Christianity.
→ Continue reading I May Be Arrested In Ireland
 August 27th, 2009 by Newbs -
One of my goals this summer was to “get in good enough shape to fuck with impunity.” By that, I meant “get in good enough shape to be a glistening wall of muscle, so toned that no lady could resist.” Most people have, in their lives, gotten exercise: when they were kids they were a part of some after school activity like soccer or karate, when they were teenagers, they acted out through hoodlum-ish behaviour requiring physical strength, when they hit adulthood, they participated in guilt-induced bouts of jogging and weight lifting, and throughout all of this, rode their bikes. Not so, for me. Previous to this summer, my only exercise experience came from the odd walk, clumsy nerd basketball, and that one summer when I jumped rope.
→ Continue reading The Gym Problem
 June 1st, 2009 by Newbs -
I wrote this article months ago, but its relevance is eternal.
Canada is famously and perpetually confused about its own cultural identity. Some have tried to stitch one together out of hockey and beer; others attempt to find identities by clinging to the traditions of their long-dead relatives. What no one seems to realize is that these things just don’t mean anything. There is no logical reason to take pride in the actions of others, or to place yourself in a community of which you have no meaningful associations.
Being the citizen of a country doesn’t require much. It usually depends upon where you’re born, and is not even under your own control. That’s it. There’s no particular diet you need to adhere to, no passion for any particular sport you need to proclaim, no kind of music that you need to love. All of that, as well as what languages you speak and what religion, if any, you follow are decided by the circumstances under which you were raised and your own personal choices, and none of it is genetic.
→ Continue reading Pick Your Own Culture
 May 25th, 2009 by Newbs -
I wrote this article months ago. Its relevance is questionable.
An Ontario man named Pasqualino Cornelio was recently ordered to continue paying child support for twin 16-year-olds, who, it turns out, aren’t his. The story has caught a decent amount of attention, yet it doesn’t feel all that unique.
This story smacks of the same kind of disregard for men’s rights which perpetually crop up in family law cases. These kinds of man-gets-fucked-by-child-support stories stay with men. That’s because, in these cases, men’s rights are irrelevant, the courts just want someone who can start paying. As the judge in the Cornelio case pointed out, these decisions are based on the best interest of the child. That argument is extremely persuasive in our society, children are worshipped, but I think it’s time to rethink this whole notion of children before everyone.
→ Continue reading Child Support
 August 29th, 2007 by Newbs -
I don’t just kill time, I murder it. I slaughter and destroy it. Since about the time I graduated from High School I have found that I no longer consider most of what I do with my time to be remotely useful or worthwhile. Being the preeminent researcher in the field of killing time, in this article I will provide the absolute best ways to waste time. The key is to reduce your free time as much as possible, using the remaining time to do as little as possible, and in ways that provide no satisfaction or enjoyment.
→ Continue reading Killing Time, a Guide
 August 4th, 2007 by Newbs -
You’ve seen it before, you’re hanging out with somebody, and one way or another that person comes into contact with some animal, and they explode into a high-pitched, cutesy-voiced tirade about the animal. They faun over it, pet it, rub it, and cast little bits of personality onto it “you’re a good boy, aren’t you!” I’m sure that almost everyone in Canada has seen hundreds of cats and dogs in their lives, yet somehow it’s a time-stopping orgasmic bliss for some people every single time. You can’t do anything but roll your eyes, saying a word of protest would toss you into the realm of social leper.
→ Continue reading An End to Pets
 July 31st, 2007 by Newbs -
The same call is made every year it seems “put Christ back into Christmas!” Well, I welcome a secular Christmas; it can be a fun time for us non-believers as well. Do not fret Christians, you can keep your holiday, but I think I’ll borrow the non-religious bits for myself.
→ Continue reading Secular Christmas
 April 28th, 2007 by Newbs -
I’m brilliant, it’s impossible to deny. It’s easily proven too. For years I’ve been saying that Pluto should not be considered a planet, and it seems astronomers have finally caught up to my all encompassing understanding of everything, and set the solar system right.
You see, Pluto’s orbit is whacked the fuck out, it just doesn’t line up with the eight real planets of the solar system. It likes to hang out with the other hoodlums of the Sol system, a gaggle of ice balls in the Kuiper belt who could never afford a better orbit. Real planets have nice, clean, round orbits close to the sun like Earth and Mars. Sometimes they blow their wealth on a giant body and hang out a little further away like Jupiter. Pluto could just never compete, and scientists have finally shown the little bastard the door.
→ Continue reading Pluto is Not a Planet
 April 18th, 2006 by Newbs -
Some forms of discrimination have been fought with massive social movements, yet ageism persists, seemingly with wide acceptance. I suppose that that’s because dying to fight the discounts senior’s receive at restaurants isn’t quite worthy of the cause. Still, when particularly blatant forms of ageism get brought up, such as the recently approve curfew for minors in Sherwood Park, discussion starts to happen.
→ Continue reading Ageism
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