Shameful Human of the Week: Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk is a seriously famous dude, but it’s a sort of fame that’s come about in an odd way. Alright, he is a professional skateboarder, and in 1999 he did a 900 degree spin, but it’s not really those things that made him a household name. No, Tony is one of those cultural icons, like Lara Croft, that grew out of the success of the PlayStation. Sure, those original Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater games came out on the N64 as well, but they were really for those PS1 playing jerks.

Tony’s game franchise hasn’t been able to keep up with today’s gaming trends. His newest game, Tony Hawk: Ride has received negative reviews, and the general consensus is that its plastic board accessory is flawed. Finally, the rest of the world understands what I’ve known all along: Tony Hawk games are terrible and the only people who like them are biased PlayStation promoters.

Now, The Hawk is getting angry, recently stating of gamers “I think that they’re just not giving it a fair shake. And I think a lot of them came into it with an attitude that it’s going to suck.”

Well, Anthony, I think you’re completely wrong! Gamers would never give an unfair shake to something they had paid $120 for! Instead, we would save our money and bitch about the game on message boards having given the game no shake whatsoever! Not unlike myself, having never played your other games!

Yeah, I know, he’s actually a pretty nice guy.

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