Shameful Human of the Week: Robert Pattinson

Robert Pattinson is another one of those people who I’ve always known would have to be crowned a Shameful Human at some point; I was just looking for a good excuse. Lucky for me, Pattinson has done well to act like an absolute idiot this week.

In a drunken interview with Details magazine, Pattinson revealed what most of us already knew, he “really hate vaginas.” Indeed, Pattinson claims to be “allergic to vagina.” Pattinson barely survived a lengthy photo shoot in which he “had to” position himself between the legs of a hot female model, and apparently only handled the ordeal because he was hungover.

Let me be clear: I’m not suggesting that Pattinson is shameful for being gay. Absolutely not. It’s just that he’s spent an awful lot of time leading on an awful lot of confused young girls.

You might be thinking, okay, Pattinson is gay, well maybe now he can become a prominent gay rights activist. Actually, that won’t work, he’s not gay either. Add all of his gay followers to the list of victims he’s led on. It turns out that Pattinson only has eyes for his dog. In the depths of his bizarre interview, Pattinson unleashed this monster: “There might be something wrong with my emotional sight… The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, it’s ridiculous.” Yikes.

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