Shameful Human of the Week: James Mielke

This week’s Shameful Human is James Mielke, long time games journalist and current producer at Q Entertainment. Mielke joins a now massive list of games industry personnel to be named Shameful Human specifically for insane, anti-Nintendo hate.

When news broke of the Nintendo 3DS last week, Mielke immediately took to Twitter to not only register his disgust with it, a product he had not seen and knew almost nothing about, but to whine incessantly about Nintendo’s overall business strategy. I’ve compiled the offending Tweets below.

Reflect on the mighty rant that follows for a moment, and then consider that this man is representing a prominent 3rd party developer in the handheld space. I find it especially amusing that Mielke works for a company which has subsisted largely on making and remaking the same two puzzle games (Lumines and Meteos) for the last six years, and yet criticizes Nintendo’s reuse of its most successful franchises.

This is precisely the kind of radical anti-Nintendo bias that exists in the industry today. Congratulations James Mielke, you are an obvious hater, fanboy, troll, and Shameful human.

Pre-order 150 of them, then sell them on THE BLACK MARKET. FIRST GAME: SUPER MARIO 3D AGAIN AGAIN IN YOUR FACE 3D AGAIN.

First 3DS game confirmed: SUPER MARIO 3D AGAIN AGAIN IN YOUR FACE 3D AGAIN.

This just in from Nintendo Japan: Dear customers, we are sorry to report that the N3DS from the future is sold out for the next 5 years.

Breaking news: Yet another Nintendo console that’s impossible for anyone other than Nintendo to make money on.

Some sleuthing has revealed the 3DS’s first year line-up: Super Mario 3D. Zelda 3D. Starfox 3D. Kirby 3DDD. Metroid 3D. Animal Crossing 3D.

A secret internal Nintendo memo was just found: “Hmm. People want to buy the 3DS. But I can’t find the “Make More” button. Help!” -Iwata.

Backwards comp means “RAM-based media” means “LOL, have fun making those big game experiences for little profit, dev/publishers!”

Will Nintendo 3DS still have dumbshit friend codes? Here’s mine: 74326478687262754786
5263865432643276543875678342563749256342796543. ADD ME.

An aside: Can’t wait to see how the Reginator pumps this one up. Last year, when N promised me the 4th dimension, they gave me 4-player SMB.

I predict massive lines on 3DS launch day, despite the fact that the (only) launch title will be Tinkle 3D: You Can’t Stop Mr. Tinkle Pants.