Dear Milla Jovovich,
No offense, but how the hell is your name pronounced? My-la? Me-la? Jo-vo-vich? Ho-vo-vich? Yo-vo-vich?
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that The Fifth Element is one of the greatest movies ever made. The number of times I’ve seen that film, and thus your nipples, is beyond calculation. Surely, its vivid colour scheme and general wackiness can never be topped. Its unique blend of sci-fi, fantasy, pop-culture, orange hair, fake languages, and blue tentacles represents an unscalable mountain of quality. Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman, Ian Holm, Chris Tucker, and you are a quintet of acting supremacy. Zoolander was good too.
Since I’ve got you here, I was hoping I could put in a request. I know you guys love putting cliffhangers at the ends of the Resident Evil films, but do you think you could pick one (let’s say the sixth) to be the last, and end it definitively? That would really help me out, since as bad as those things are, I care for some inexplicable reason.
Still regretting my viewing of Ultraviolet,