Magic Card of the Week: Lightning Bolt, again
Lightning Bolt was Magic Card of the Week once before, but the image to the left has inspired me to cover the card again, this time with greater detail.
Let’s say you’re playing some Magic against a friend who is piloting some kind of pussy deck with Wizards or Merfolk or some shit, and you’re just railing him with firey red ass-kick. You’re raining Fireballs and Goblin Grenades all over his sorry blue bastards, and you’ve knocked him all the way down to three life. Then, suddenly, you’re struck with the problem which all red mages must eventually face: you have no cards in your hand and your only permanents are a stack of Mountains and one Raging Goblin.
His blue vaginas are piling up, soon they will breach your horde of Mountains and come crashing down upon your lonely goblin. You do the only thing you can do, keep drawing and hope to hit the one card that will win you the game: Lightning Bolt. With nary a life point to spare, you draw the fabled card, stand up, wave your arms around, and feel the red mana flow through you as you get way too involved in the game, and deal lethal damage to your friend, the loser.
I’d hit it.