Home » Character Profile » Currently Reading:

Creature of the Week: Tyrannosaurus Rex

July 17, 2006 Character Profile No Comments

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the so called “tyrant lizard,” could truly fuck some shit up. According to my sources, this beastly Dinosaur was up to 13 metres long, weighed 4 to 8 tons, and “was one of the largest land carnivores of all time.” In the film scholars widely believe to be the greatest of all time, Jurassic Park, Tyrannosaurus Rex can be seen devouring a lawyer and subsequently chasing a jeep, much to the dismay of the jeep’s passengers.

Of course, despite all of my desperate hoping, Dinosaurs and humans have never actually co-existed, which may lead some to wonder why the Dinosaur pictured above can be seen devouring a human. In fact, the image of the “Rex,” which I have simulated for you doubles as a symbolic representation of Rory Gilmore devouring poor Dean as she annihilates his life by first refusing to say “I love you,” thus ending their relationship, then getting back together with him only to leave him again for Jess, only to get together with him once more just long enough to end his marriage and leave him for yet another guy.

Comment on this Article:







Related Posts

Character Profile: RoboCop

8 Feb 2011

Detroit mayor Dave Bing is looking for ways to improve his city’s image. One Twitter user suggested erecting a statue of RoboCop, similar to the Rocky statue in Philadelphia. Sadly, they mayor turned the idea down. In order to convince Bing of what a great idea this really is, I …

Character Profile: Kirby

1 Feb 2011

Source: Kirby is the legendary pink… thing of the games which carry his name. Vital Statistics: Kirby is a mere 8 inches tall, yet appears to be roughly the same height as other Nintendo mascots in Super Smash Bros., including the human and humanoid ones. He has also been described …

Creature of the Week: The well-endowed Tanuki

9 Jan 2010

Source: This Creature of the Week comes to us partly from reality, and partly from mythology, it’s the Japanese raccoon dog known as the tanuki (sometimes spelled “tanooki”). Tanuki have a special place in Japanese folklore, and statues of them can often be found outside Japanese temples and restaurants. The …

The Archives

July 2017
S M T W T F S
« Jul    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Follow!


Like Shufflingdead.com Subscribe to Shufflingdead.com Check out our Youtube Videos Follow us on Twitter