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Creature of the Week: Tyrannosaurus Rex

July 17, 2006 Character Profile No Comments

Tyrannosaurus Rex, the so called “tyrant lizard,” could truly fuck some shit up. According to my sources, this beastly Dinosaur was up to 13 metres long, weighed 4 to 8 tons, and “was one of the largest land carnivores of all time.” In the film scholars widely believe to be the greatest of all time, Jurassic Park, Tyrannosaurus Rex can be seen devouring a lawyer and subsequently chasing a jeep, much to the dismay of the jeep’s passengers.

Of course, despite all of my desperate hoping, Dinosaurs and humans have never actually co-existed, which may lead some to wonder why the Dinosaur pictured above can be seen devouring a human. In fact, the image of the “Rex,” which I have simulated for you doubles as a symbolic representation of Rory Gilmore devouring poor Dean as she annihilates his life by first refusing to say “I love you,” thus ending their relationship, then getting back together with him only to leave him again for Jess, only to get together with him once more just long enough to end his marriage and leave him for yet another guy.

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