Pachtervision: PSP2 “dead on arrival”

I can’t claim to agree with Michael Pachter’s typical video game prognostications, but here’s one my furious fanboy heart can get behind (at least half of). Pachter believes the handheld market is “in trouble” (that’s not the part I like) and has gone so far as to claim the long-rumoured PSP2 will be “dead on arrival” (now that’s funny). Something called “the big woody of the iPod Touch” is supposedly responsible for much of the trouble. Pach-attack claims the 3DS will keep the handheld market going for awhile, but Apple’s nefarious gadgets will eventually put the dedicated handhelds in trouble.

Image: Adapted from Pearl White PSP Go by MNgilen under a CC-BY license.

Jiffy’s Lazy Links: Another Katy Perry Parody Edition

Remember Shameful Human Judith Griggs and her Cooks Source magazine of stolen material? Well, internet justice has prevailed and she’s shut her operation down.

Donkey Kong Country Returns is full of awesome Easter eggs. That includes an homage to Donkey Kong hero/villain Billy Mitchell. The hot-sauce maestro’s American-flag tie is hidden in one of the game’s levels.

A South Carolina man named Alexander Ofner has been arrested for indecent exposure following a back-of-the-theatre rub session he gave himself during a screening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Analysts are suggesting Emma Watson may have been the inspiration for Ofner’s activity.

There now exists PSPhone video. It still seems to pretty much just be a smart phone with gaming controls.

Bono and The Edge have written the music for a goddamn Spder-Man broadway musical. Turn off the Dark had its preview performance recently, and, well, by most accounts it sucked pretty hard. Common complaints included technical issues and confusing story-telling.

A Californian man has evaded the long arm of the anti-360 modding law thanks to an angry judge suspending his trial. The case was set to kick off Tuesday, with Matthew Crippen being accused of violating the Digital Millennium Copyright Act for circumventing DRM in the modification of XBox 360s.

Jiffy’s Lazy Links: More Insidious Korean Pop Edition

Jiffy here. Please sit back and enjoy these links along with the soothing sounds of Oh! by Girls’ Generation.

Hey, adult star Kirsten Price recently had the chance to humiliate herself and reinforce geek stereotypes with the help of G4 by testing out Kinect. Of course, this involved various sexy costumes along with total nudity. The thing worked for pretty much everything.

Speaking of which, Microsoft has announced that in the first 10 days of its life on the shelf, the Kinect had already sold one million units. That doesn’t bode well for angry nerds long tired of the motion-control trend.

The Canadian army has ordered 500 games (about $25,000 worth). The list is bro-centric, featuring 93 copies of Gears of War, 82 copies of Call of Duty 4, as well as games like Rock Band, Assassin’s Creed 2, GTA 4, and Ghost Recon.

The first images of the fabled PSP2 dev kit have leaked. It appears exactly as rumoured, like a PSP Go with two thumb sticks, cameras, and a trackpad on the back.

Check out the trailer for Record of Agarest 2 (NSFW). It’s a PS3 strategy game which features tentacles, banana eating, and partial nudity.

Natalie Portman, Blake Lively, Keira Knightly, Anne Hathaway, Naomi Watts, and Rachel Weisz make up the six names of the short list to play… someone in The Dark Knight Rises. Rumour has it that whoever is chosen will be playing either Catwoman or Talia Al Ghul.

Dueling PSP rumours: PSP2 vs. PSPhone

Engadget is reporting that Sony will soon bring the “PSPhone” to market. Hell, they’ve got pictures to back it up. The device looks much like a PSPGo, with the control nub replaced with a touch pad. The doomed-to-fail smart phone will reportedly run Android and support a special Sony Marketplace.

A less reliable, and also less crazy, rumour claims that PSP2 is on its way. Supposedly, it will look much like the PSPGo and come equipped with dual analog sticks. Supposedly, the device is more powerful than the 360 and does not support UMDs.

So, are either of these real? Probably. If I had to guess, I’d say both are quite real. The PSPhone sounds like it will both suck and blow at typical Sony levels. We’ve been hearing that developers have had PSP2 dev kits for awhile, and those other details are plausible enough.

If these rumours are indeed true, it will be interesting to see how much cross-platform support they get. Will Sony segment and destroy what little of the portable market they now hold? We’ll just have to pass the time by speculating until we find out.

Image: Adapted from Pearl White PSP Go by MNgilen under a CC-BY license.

RUMOUR: Sony still hasn’t given up, PSPhone incoming

Engadget claims to have heard from reliable sources that Sony Ericsson is teaming up with Google to produce a “PSP Go-like smartphone.”

The new device supposedly features a slider that would contain something close to the current PSP Go’s button layout, with the analog nub replaced by a touch pad. Also rumoured to be included are Google’s Android 3.0 OS and system specs that allow for PS1/PSP level graphics. The rumour also contains the claim that God of War and Little Big Planet games are being shown off for the system/phone, and that it will be PlayStation branded.

Although the idea of Sony turning the PSP line into smartphones isn’t surprising, it does seem odd that the company would half-ass the effort so greatly. The rumour doesn’t make it seem like this new PSP would have much to do with existing PSP games or infrastructure. And where’s the dual analog?

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