More Mario Galaxy 2 footage to wank over

Yesterday, we brought you some seriously arousing Nintendo news, including plenty of Mario Galaxy 2 media, but a little more footage has surfaced, and I can’t help but post it. This game just looks so good it inspires me out of laziness.

Watch the video above to see more of Mario’s battle with the penis monster, as well as plenty of Yoshi action, and even a little more of that “giant” galaxy I’m massively excited about.

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Snake lies, cheats, stealths, ass-waggles his way into first place in Japanese hearts

In a shocking upset sure to echo through the ages, readers of Japanese mega-nerd magazine Famitsu have awarded Snake of the Metal Gear franchise the honour of “coolest video game character ever.”

Famitsu polled their throngs of dedicated losers for who they consider to be the coolest game character, and the otaku responded by depriving more deserving characters like Mario and Link. Snake most likely won because he betrayed Nintendo and switched to being a PlayStation-focused character, which is exactly what all of the worst people in the world, that is to say, most people, did too.

The list is full of absurdity. Additional upsets include Mario in second place, Sora from Kingdom Hearts above Link, the dog-god thing from Okami above Pikachu, and Luigi in at 18 instead of on the list of least-cool characters.

Hit the jump for the top 15.

→ Continue reading Snake lies, cheats, stealths, ass-waggles his way into first place in Japanese hearts

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Creature of the Week: The well-endowed Tanuki

Source: This Creature of the Week comes to us partly from reality, and partly from mythology, it’s the Japanese raccoon dog known as the tanuki (sometimes spelled “tanooki”). Tanuki have a special place in Japanese folklore, and statues of them can often be found outside Japanese temples and restaurants. The tanuki of folklore is known to be mischievous, jolly, a master of disguise, absent-minded, and the possessor of a giant scrotum.

Depicted Above: Most westerners know the tanuki from the rare Tanooki suit item from Super Mario Bros. 3, which seems to have been inspired by the folklore version of the tanuki. Since Mario games were always intended to have family appeal, the massive set of balls which tanuki are traditionally represented as possessing were omitted from the suit. I have remastered Mario as he should have appeared in the game while wearing the suit, and placed him against some traditional Japanese art in order to remind the viewer of the tanuki’s proud history in Japanese culture.

Vital Statistics: The tanuki’s big belly is said to symbolize bold decisiveness, and his even bigger balls are said to represent financial luck. Tom Nook of Animal Crossing is also a tanuki. His giant testicles are represented metaphorically by means of the outrageous demands he makes upon the player.

Fury Factor: 23.

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“Don’t Stop Me Now” with Automatic Mario

Someone by the name of NicoNico Douga has used the art of Automatic Mario, that is the creation of Mario levels using Super Mario World assets which play themselves, to perform Queen’s glorious anthem “Don’t Stop Me Now.” The masterpiece actually recreates the parts performed by all four of the band’s members separately.

→ Continue reading “Don’t Stop Me Now” with Automatic Mario

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New Super Mario Bros. Wii Review

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