The Star Trek Advisor on Valentine’s Day Jitters

Dear Star Trek Advisor,

I am worried about Valentine’s Day coming up. I’m not sure what my girlfriend wants. Any ideas?

-Nervous About V-Day

IMAGE: STAR TREK. COPYRIGHT CBS PARAMOUNT STUDIOS.

This Week’s Advisor: Commander Spock

Nervous About V-Day, your conundrum is illogical. If you do not know what your mate wants, simply ask.

I understand that letting your mate know you are not omniscient can be… unpleasant. However, in that case, it may be necessary to remind your mate that you are not Vulcan, Betazoid or Ullian, and therefore do not have access to her mind. Depending on the woman, this has up to an approximately seventy-four point three six two percent success rate.

I have observed many Human courting rituals, some of which produce more positive results than others. Women, despite protests to the contrary, are often very fond of material gifts, fine food and drink, samples of vegetation, and gestures of chivalry. Some Human creativity may be required. As for what your particular female desires, I would highly recommend merely asking her.

Looking to spice up your love life with some Star Trek inspired help? Head on over to the contact page or use the comment form below to submit your question(s) today! The advisor is standing by.

Another stupid wedding: this time it’s through Twitter

We’ve reported on people marrying video game characters and pillows, but this is the first time I can recall discussing a marriage between two people. It still feels like the dumbest one yet.

Greg Rewis proposed to Stephanie Sullivan two years ago via Twitter with this classic line “@stefsull – ok. for the rest of the twitter-universe (and this is a first, folks) – WILL YOU MARRY ME?” She accepted the proposal with the reply: “@garazi – OMG – Ummmmm… I guess in front of the whole twitter-verse I’ll say — I’d be happy to spend the rest of my geek life with you.” I suppose the pair thought other people on the internet actually cared, and that they would not live in eternal shame for unironically using terms live “Twitter-verse.”

Now, the couple is planning to have their marriage live-Tweeted by various children of previous marriages. The couple had originally planned to Tweet their vows themselves, but a lone voice of reason begged Sullivan “please don’t sit there at your computers and type it in.”

Wedding guests will reportedly be required to do a tequila slammer as they arrive. They’ll need it.

[source]

Man marries dakimakura, a damn pillow

28-year old Lee Jin-gyu has wed a giant, huggable, rapeable, body pillow, technically called a “dakimakura,” with a picture of anime character Fate Testarossa printed on it.

The Korean man dressed up his make-believe friend in a wedding dress and had a special ceremony held in front of a priest. One man, a supposed friend of Jin-gyu’s, noted that “he is completely obsessed with this pillow and takes it everywhere,” this includes taking the stuffed woman on carnival rides and out to restaurants. The pillow reportedly gets its own meals, but the vital details of how that might work are unavailable.

No word on whether or not the couple was living in sin, or if Lee will be tearing open a new hole on his stuffed friend.

I have to give props to Mr. Jin-gyu, at least this thing is soft and roughly the size and shape of a human, Sal9000 has a lot more hard edges to deal with on his fake wife.

[source]

Love Plus and Pocky team up for Valentine’s Day

Always up for promoting their dating game sensation Love Plus, Konami paired up with Pocky this Valentine’s Day to hand out boxes of the tasty sticks along with Love Plus “augmented reality” cards on the streets of Tokyo. The cards, when held up to a web cam, produce an image of a Love Plus girl on screen.

I wonder if any not-lonely Love Plus lovers played the Pocky game with their digital girlfriends this Valentine’s Day. That’s where you each take bites of a Pocky stick until you meet in the middle, Lady and the Tramp style. They could actually simulate that by opening and shutting their DSes in a biting fashion.

I’d like to throw in a special shout-out to Love Plus husband Sal9000 here, hope you and Nene had a great Valentine’s Day.

[source]

YouTuber lands prom date with Maxim model, happy Valentine’s day everybody!

On this day of love, Sufflingdead is proud to bring you the tale of one Conner Cordova, a 17-year-old high schooler who harnessed the power of YouTube to convince Maxim model and UFC Octagon Girl Arianny Celeste to be his prom date.

The Dakota Ridge High Schooler produced a series of goofy YouTube videos in which he employed real UFC fighters and the profound nature of his natural dancing skills to beg the girl of his dreams to go to the prom with him. Eventually, Arianny replied, and agreed, provided Conner could find a date for her friend. Of course, the Colorado teen had no trouble finding a fourth for the group, and they are now set to attend senior dance together.

… Continue Reading