iPad 2 announced, offers same money-wasting potential as original

Image: apple.com

As I was too lazy to report on yesterday, Apple’s own Steve “I work even when I’m dying” Jobs has announced the iPad 2.

Changes from the original design include it being thinner and lighter. It also has a faster processor and a rear-facing camera.

All features of the original iPad remain, including awkward typing, blatant inferiority to laptops, lack of Flash support, and exorbitant price (up to $829).

Get yourself another credit card quick, the iPad 2 launches March 11.

Source: arstechnica

Damn it Steve, this isn’t funny

Image: Adapted from Steve Jobs Headshot 2010 by Matt Yohe under a CC-BY-SA license.

As a blogger with nothing better to do than whine about the asinine turns of the tech industry, I owe a great deal to Steve Jobs. I need him around so I can mock his turtle necks, success, easy-to-use products, and raging arrogance.

That’s why I’m severely disappointed in Steve for taking yet another medical leave from Apple. Sure, he’ll still be CEO, but this is indefinite, and considering his history of illness over the last 8 years, fairly concerning.

Meanwhile, big media is running around worrying about petty things like Apple’s continuing ability to create innovative products and maintain stock value during these troubling times. They don’t seem to grasp the wider implications of this ordeal.

In any case, here is to Steve Jobs. May he live forever as the imperial god of technology. That ass.

Source: arstechnica

Verizon, Apple team up and people care

Image: Adapted from apple store fifth avenue black friday by jardenberg under a CC-BY license.

Verizon has announced that they will be carrying the iPhone in the US beginning in February. That means AT&T isn’t the only carrier of the Apple device any longer.

The tech world is ejaculatory over this announcement, or they were when I read about it two days ago. By now they have presumably moved on to something else, like whining about the absence of some minute and irrelevant feature in whatever $500 hunk of plastic they plan on picking up next.

Those currently with AT&T looking to switch to Verizon out of spite or something will have to buy new phones because Verizon runs a CDMA network, whatever that is. They will also have to pay out $325 in “early termination fees.”

This story makes evident two things: I don’t understand the tech world, and phone companies are fucking scammers.

Source: CNN

Question of the Week: iPhone Vs. Android

Image: Adapted from iPhone vs Android by nrkbeta under a CC-BY-SA license. Yes, you can similarly share alike!

Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of discussion/rage/rants regarding the debatable advantages of some of the new ‘in’ things; namely the iPhone and the Android systems for cellular phone usage.

Personally, I’m loathe to weigh in on either side. I just got finished hating the Blackberry (commonly known among all addicted users as a “Crackberry”) and really don’t need to pick up more handhelds to be disgusted by on principle.

So what do you all think? Is Steve Jobs still a maniacal monster up in his fortress made of stacked 100 dollar bills? Does he have the ‘it’ thing for 2011? Or is he desperately clinging to a format that he has managed to convince enough loudmouthed consumers to swear by profusely, but is technologically inferior?

So, ShufflingDead readers, tell me what you think. iPhone or Android?

BREAKING: Kids want overpriced electronics for Christmas

It’s not just the children of the UK who would prefer overpriced hunks of plastic from Apple this holiday season.

Nielsen is reporting that among American youngsters aged 6-12, 31% want an iPad in the next six months. 29% want an iPod Touch (the same number want a computer), and only 25% want a DS. PS3 leads among home consoles, with 21% desiring the black behemoth, compared with 18% for Wii.

Consumers 13+ are most looking to buy a computer (20%). The first Apple product on the list is the iPad in fourth place, beating out any video game systems. Thankfully, the Wii comes out ahead of the PS3 and 360 in this category. The DS is behind pretty much everything, with only 8% interested in buying one in the next six months. That still manages to beat the as-yet-to-be-hyped-in-the-real-world 3DS at 6%, and the similarly non-hyped PSP at 5%.

Source: Nielsen
Image: Adapted from christmas morning by scottfeldstein under a CC-BY license.