What the flippity flap is cyber Monday?

Editor’s note: According to Urban Dictionary, “flippity flap” is the act of a penis having spasms and going “out of control.”

As you probably already know, Black Friday occurred this past Friday in the United States. Black Friday is, of course, an annual religious holiday in the United States in which consumers enter a trance-like state of pure frothing consumer whoredom, then head out to local shopping areas to trample one another for sport.

In recent years, so Wikipedia tells me, this has come to be followed by “Cyber Monday.” (Presumably, the Saturday and Sunday between these two events is filled with the humble appreciation of good fortune.) This is the day when shoppers decide to relive the glory of their shopping from three days earlier by buying a bunch more useless shit through the internet. Online spending reportedly jumps by somewhere between 5 and 25% on this day.

Image: Adapted from apple store fifth avenue black friday by jardenberg under a CC-BY license.