Study: internet addicted teens are fat, unhealthy
A study conducted on first years students of the Chinese University of Hong Kong has found, surprise, “prolonged internet use to be linked to obesity, social isolation, skipping meals, sleeping problems, and developing depression and stress.”
After surveying 2433 students, it was found that your typical heavy internet user is non-religious, male, and studying engineering. It is unknown if use of the word “heavy” was meant as a pun. Original research conducted by me over the past nine years, carefully studying internet communities the world over, confirms these findings.
The slovenly internet nerds were also found to have less friends and less romance in their lives. It’s my personal hope that this discovery will open debate regarding discrimination against basement-dwellers.
My source claims it to be “interesting” that no association was found between heavy internet use and substance abuse. I should think that part would have been expected. Everybody knows its the cool kids who do drugs.
“Everybody knows its the cool kids who do drugs.”
Good call!