Oscars are this Sunday – two days until Avatar love fest

The 82nd annual Academy Awards are airing this Sunday, and you know what that means, it’s two days until James Cameron climbs up on stage and thanks his adoring fans for worshiping the giant blue gods he created and then smashed into the script for Pocahontas.

This year’s best picture race is a peculiar one. The Academy decided the show wasn’t getting enough viewers from the “unwashed masses” demographic, and so they opened up the ultimate category to ten nominations instead of the usual five, with the hope that more mainstream films would get included. Well, their little plan seems to have worked, Avatar, Up, District 9, and even The Blind Side are all best picture contenders this year.

Since I felt compelled to make an Oscar post anyway, I might as well include my predictions as well as personal preferences for some of the major categories.

Best Picture: Avatar will win, Cameron’s acceptance speech will consist of him trying to think of a line from his film to quote, then realizing the dialogue was so poorly written that nothing stands out. My preference: District 9.

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow will win for The Hurt Locker, crowd members will clap politely, not having seen the film themselves. My choice: Jason Reitman for Up in the Air, because he’s the son of Ivan Reitman.

Best Actor: Prediction and preference: Morgan Freeman for playing Nelson Mandela in Invictus. He’s Morgan Freeman.

Best Actress: Prediction: Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side because the world hates me that much. My choice: anyone but Sandra Bullock.

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