Home » News » Currently Reading:

No charges for Urkel, free to stalk your daughter once more

July 18, 2010 News No Comments

We reported earlier in the week that Family Matters star Jaleel White was under investigation for allegedly punching his child’s mother in the breast. Well, the LAPD has found there to be an absence of evidence, no case will be pursued.

White’s representatives had been claiming the accusations were part of an anti-Urkel ploy designed to win a custody battle.

The news comes as a great relief to me. Urkel was a childhood hero.

[source] Thanks, kontrhovercie!

Comment on this Article:







Related Posts

Keira Knightley is single; world rejoices

16 Jan 2011

Keira Knightley and her five-years-too-long boyfriend Rupert Friend called it quits sometime over the holidays. Sources say something about strain on the relationship as a result of paparazzi photographing them made Friend more and more uncomfortable. Isn’t he an actor too? Anyway, the good news is that this gives DMUSER …

Pac-Man game show to exist in reality

14 Jan 2011

Namco is teaming up with Merv Griffin Entertainment to turn Pac-Man into a reality/game show type TV series. The new waste of time is being hyped as a “big, crazy Wipeout-type event with a lot of energy.” “Wipeout” in that sentence is apparently referring to an existing TV series similar …

Jewel’s pregnancy inspires lechery

13 Jan 2011

Jewel has no thematic link with ShufflingDead whatsoever, except breasts, I guess. That’s why I wrote her an open letter six years ago, and why I’m about to write a news story about her, anyway. The folk singer is pregnant. Now, you might think that would upset me, especially since …

Recent ToTW

Magic Card of the Week: Burning Vengeance

Burning Vengeance

Welcome, one and all, to ShufflingDead’s Magic Card of the Week! This week’s card is Burning Vengeance. Burning Vengeance is a red enchantment from the Innistrad set that really plays into the Flashback or Unearth abilities. With Burning Vengeance in …

Magic Card of the Week: Rooftop Storm

Rooftop Storm

We’re back again with another Magic Card of the Week! This week’s selection is Rooftop Storm. Six mana puts this enchantment into play for you, but after that the doors are pretty much wide open. Unleash the hordes of zombies …

Magic Card of the Week: Essence of the Wild

Essence of the Wild

Coming to you straight from the not-biased-at-all opinions of ShufflingDead.com is another Magic Card of the Week! This week’s MCotW is Essence of the Wild from the Innistrad set. So you’re heavily engaged in a duel with another player, trading …

Recent News

It’s finally here! The Star Trek TNG porn parody trailer is here!

At “long” last, the trailer for Star Trek: The Next Generation: A XXX Parody is finally here! Check out your favourite TNG characters “engaging” in adventures of both the science-fiction and sexual varieties. The plot fits in with the actual …

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban named movie of the decade

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Warner Bros.

The third movie of the Harry Potter series, Prisoner of Azkaban, has received the award Movie of the Decade at the First Light Awards. The First Light Awards are held annually and are largely to celebrate short films made by …

The Hobbit finally filming

The Hobbit: 70th Anniversary Edition cover art

Filming of The Hobbit has finally begun. After numerous production problems, strike threats, talk of location change, and director Peter Jackson’s ulcer surgery, word has reached my ears that the two-part movie has started production. Martin Freeman will star as …

Recent Articles

CONTEST: Win 2000 Nintendo Points!!

Our old pals (read:me) at Splodinator.com are running an exciting contest for 2000 Nintendo Points. See video above for all the details.

What’s new at Splodinator

Ka-pow!

With the E3 rush over with, I’m free to hop back aboard the ShufflingDead pain train for the occasional update. To begin with, I wanted to catch up our wandering readers over here with the latest from Splodinator, the glorious …

Robots vs. Zombies: The Future of ShufflingDead

Ka-pow!

Some of you more loyal readers may be wondering “what the hell is going on with ShufflingDead? Why is the site updated 5 times a week instead of 20? Where is the Definitive 50???” The answers to all those questions …

Recent Comments

  • joshua vanderworken jr: DAMN COMMUNIST BASTEREDS...
  • trololol: Bitch, Please c'mon...
  • darkam: Good for you Anne. There are many goo...
  • darkam: Roissy is a King and a voice of truth am...
  • Sam: The USSR is dead. It won't return to the...

Login