Introducing the Edward Cullen manllow, rape-face all-star

We’re all familiar with those anime full-body pillows that are so wonderfully compliant with their male owner’s wishes, but ladies looking to get their share of pillow-loving haven’t got a lot of options. With the recent announcement that Robert Pattinson is allergic to vagina, some Twi-hards may have lost hope that they would ever get the chance to snuggle up to anything resembling sparkly vampire Edward Cullen. Well, a hard working crafter over at Etsy has come to the rescue with the Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson Manllow. It’s half man, half pillow, and all rape-face.

The manllow features Pattinson’s likeness screen printed onto cotton jersey, and has two long tubes vaguely resembling arms with which to wrap yourself up in at night as you dream of him watching you sleep. It’s a great distraction for the girl looking to keep her virginity intact while she waits for the 100-year-old vampire of her dreams.

[source]