Apple kills 5000 innocent iPhone apps

Freedom hater Steve Jobs has reached out with his unforgiving, money-encrusted fingers and snatched a whopping 5000 apps away from the iPhone app store. The apps were deemed “sexually inappropriate” after Apple further restricted their already Orwellian store rules. Here are the new guidelines Apple has added for app submissions since the mass removal:

1. No images of women in bikinis
2. No images of men in bikinis
3. No skin
4. No silhouettes
5. No sexual connotations or innuendo.
6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing
7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content

In other words, you can no longer use your iPhone as a portable masturbation assistant, calling into question the already shaky grounds of the device’s usefulness. If you need something to jack off to on your bus ride home from work or school, and don’t have a Jobs-esque design fetish, I guess you’ll have to get a Droid.

[source]