2009 Google Zeitgeist reveals the end is nigh
Each year, Google likes to reveal just what it was everyone was using their ubiquitous search service to find. Unfortunately, the global results for 2009 demonstrate that human civilization is rotting from the inside, and will quickly perish.
Some results make sense: “Michael Jackson” was the fastest rising, while “Beijing 2008″ was the fastest falling. Okay, I get it, MJ was in the news, the Beijing Olympics stopped being in the news. Some results demonstrate a profound inability for internet users to type a URL, with “Facebook” being the #2 fastest rising, and “Twitter” being #4. Some results demonstrate that I am not a worldly person, with the mysterious “tuenti” being the #3 fastest riser, and “sanalika” being #5. What the hell are those?
I can handle all of that. The following, however, I cannot. #6 fastest rising: “New Moon.” #9 fastest falling: “Wii.” That’s it folks, pack it in, we as a species have obviously given up. I get it; we’re all just going to stop having fun and expose ourselves to horrendous movies instead. Good luck getting werewolf abs without Wii Fit, you bastards.
[...] allows absent parents to spy on their children. Just like everyone else, as shown in the broader search stats Google recently published, children seem to lack the ability to type a URL into a navigation bar. [...]