Over 10,000 vehicles are stuck in a traffic jam on a highway between Tibet and Beijing… again.

Traffic on this particular highway was cleared just over a week ago following a 9 day, 100km long gridlock. This time, the standstill is estimated to be about 120kms long.

The massive [...]]]>

Over 10,000 vehicles are stuck in a traffic jam on a highway between Tibet and Beijing… again.

Traffic on this particular highway was cleared just over a week ago following a 9 day, 100km long gridlock. This time, the standstill is estimated to be about 120kms long.

The massive backlog of vehicles is largely due to the needs of Beijing’s population of 20 million. Constant supplies of food, consumer goods and coal are required to keep the city running properly. Combine the flow of those deliveries with a little bit of roadwork and you have yourself a parking lot.

[source]

            

In an effort to stem the bleeding of Anglican church membership nationwide, Halifax-based Anglican Rev. Lisa Vaughn has asked cellphone, laptop, and technological gadgets in to receive a special blessing this weekend.

Vaughn says in an interview “It’s not just about please don’t let my cellphone drop calls today. It’s about, [...]]]>

In an effort to stem the bleeding of Anglican church membership nationwide, Halifax-based Anglican Rev. Lisa Vaughn has asked cellphone, laptop, and technological gadgets in to receive a special blessing this weekend.

Vaughn says in an interview “It’s not just about please don’t let my cellphone drop calls today. It’s about, you know, help me to be the best Christian, the best person I can be in my conversations, in my communication.”

Personally, I’m not too hopeful of her chances of increasing attendance too much with this initiative, but I am a little curious. If I had her bless my Xbox controller, would I be playing with the Holy Fist of God on my side?

[source]

            

I do a lot of driving during the course of my everyday life, and found myself recalling a few odd ones from recent memory. For example, today I was on the highway and saw a cloud shaped exactly like the profile of the starship Enterprise. A few weeks ago, I saw a [...]]]>

I do a lot of driving during the course of my everyday life, and found myself recalling a few odd ones from recent memory. For example, today I was on the highway and saw a cloud shaped exactly like the profile of the starship Enterprise. A few weeks ago, I saw a 40-50 year old man in a leather vest and baseball cap skateboarding down a busy city street. Like seriously, like a 60km/h zone, he was going 4km/h and using a lane.

So what else is out there? Tell us what you’ve been seeing. What is the Weirdest Thing You’re Ever Seen While Driving?

Note: We will accept ‘while on the bus’ for those of us who are vehicularly challenged.

            

Last week, I declared Kevin Rose, the founder of social media/link sharing site Digg.com and the entire community of that site to be Shameful Humans. I blamed Kevin and his staff for prematurely pushing out v4 while it was still packed with glitches and absent in obvious features, and I blamed the community [...]]]>

Last week, I declared Kevin Rose, the founder of social media/link sharing site Digg.com and the entire community of that site to be Shameful Humans. I blamed Kevin and his staff for prematurely pushing out v4 while it was still packed with glitches and absent in obvious features, and I blamed the community of Digg for completely overreacting to the changes brought about.

In the intervening week, Digg’s tech has stabilized, things are getting fixed, and Rose appears to be moving forward. The community of his site, however, is not. Each day, I fire up Digg with the hopes of finding amusement and maybe even a story or two to cover on the site, the things I used to find. Instead, what my browser displays each morning is a user-generated catastrophe of nerd rage.

Every anti-Digg and anti-Rose post that can be found is popularized and pushed to the front-page. Significantly worse, the frothing geeks who continue to visit Digg, even though they claim to hate it, see to it that no conversation within any comment section can take place unless it is specifically about how bad the new Digg is.

As anti-v4 push-back continues, it has become increasingly shrill and conspiratorial, with users now claiming sites like Mashable and TIME pay Rose to promote their content. This of course ignores the fact that these users have managed to entirely bend Digg’s system to their will, in direct violation of corporate interest. Someone, somewhere has to be Digging up those stories in order popularize them. Where users used to follow other users, they now more often follow websites, and some sites have managed to work the system better than others. That’s it.

Never have I more greatly appreciated the diligent work of moderators on the forums I visit. If this were any forum on the internet, such users would be banned for trolling, trashing, and abusing the site they are participating in. At a certain point, Digg is going to have to boot these unruly abusers in order to be able to provide any kind of service at all, save as venting ground for unwarranted rage.

Digg has been rendered unusable, not by its leadership, not by the corporate masters the company has supposedly bowed to, but by its own community of spammers who have seemingly nothing else to do than ruin a perfectly good service for everyone else.

[image source]

            

Treyarch has announced that Call of Duty‘s newest installment, Black Ops, is getting a multiplayer overhaul. But wait, for those of you thinking “thank god, finally the game won’t reward players for being camping shit eaters,” think again. Treyarch hasn’t decided anything of the sort.

Several new modes have been announced, [...]]]>

Treyarch has announced that Call of Duty‘s newest installment, Black Ops, is getting a multiplayer overhaul. But wait, for those of you thinking “thank god, finally the game won’t reward players for being camping shit eaters,” think again. Treyarch hasn’t decided anything of the sort.

Several new modes have been announced, including an offline mode vs. bots, one more way to hate playing this game. I wonder if the AI will camp like a bastard too?

One good thing about this game is the introduction of CP (CoD Points) used as money to upgrade and unlock new weapons. Much preferred over unlocking as you progress, where you often get items you care very little about. To my understanding, you can spend the points on whatever you want.

But here we are, the money shot, 4 new game modes, 3 of which seem to be 1-shot-kills tomfoolery designed to make you camp and wait for a kill, actively punishing those players out to play the game. Thanks for making sure that the assholes of noobs everywhere are more accessible to every dick on the internet, Treyarch.

            

Welcome again to Movie Maundering. Further expanding upon my recent urge to punish myself for unknown sins likely committed in a past life by watching exceptionally poor movie choices, I just finished watching The Butterfly Effect.

Plot

Speaking of committed, this movie focuses most of its time around the theme [...]]]>

Welcome again to Movie Maundering. Further expanding upon my recent urge to punish myself for unknown sins likely committed in a past life by watching exceptionally poor movie choices, I just finished watching The Butterfly Effect.

Plot

Speaking of committed, this movie focuses most of its time around the theme of mental instability, insanity, and institutionalization. Evan Treborn is afflicted with a seemingly hereditary bout of behavioural instability, manifesting itself in the blacking out of traumatic events. But as it turns out, Evan, and his father and grandfather before him, were actually able to return themselves to these points in their past and redo them, dramatically changing the lives of everyone around them. Everyone else just thought they were crazy. But things never go quite right, someone always gets the stubby end of the dick when Evan goes time traveling, and though he might help one friend, he often causes greater damage to himself or others. So he sets out to fix that too… and there we have the movie.

The film is largely based around the model of Chaos Theory, a set of studies based in math, economics, philosophy and physics to study how any action can affect events far out of its scope. This is commonly known as the ‘Butterfly Effect’, where it is suggested that something as small as a butterfly can flap its wings and the ripple effect of that action could cause a hurricane halfway around the world.

Cast

Ashton Kutcher stars as Evan Treborn, though he is often portrayed in his teenage self or child self by John Amadori and Logan Lerman respectively. His paramount love interest and ultimate goal of the girl to rescue is played by Amy Smart, the character Kayleigh Miller. Other faces show up that you probably can’t name yourself like Elden Henson (Fulton from D2: The Mighty Ducks), William Lee Scott (teenage Anton in Gattaca) and bigman Ethan Suplee (Frankie from Boy Meets World). All in all a pretty decent cast. Ashton Kutcher does a crazy-man run that is a must-see.

Weskimo’s Take

I’ve gotta say, this movie had a fair bit going for it. Chaos Theory is an interesting premise for a movie. However…

This movie ended up with some cheesy balls in its mouth. The beginning of the movie is hard to follow, and though they try hard to build suspense and be dramatic, the feelings they are going for just aren’t there. It does possess a bit of the psychotic behaviour that will shock the audience, predominantly shown through Tommy Miller, Kayleigh’s brother. The problem child actively enjoys brutally delivering a beat down, and likes burning puppies. Pretty sick. Evan’s best friend Lenny also ends up in a mentally unstable state more times than not after his little ‘fixes’ as well, moving between quietly withdrawn, openly violent, and nearly catatonic.

Another serious flaw of the movie is its lack of focus. They attempted to try to cram too many big attention-getter issues into the movie, nothing gets more than a few minutes of play. Prostitution, child pornography, parental abandonment, abusive parents, lost loves, psychological trauma, fraternity douchebaggery, suicide, cancer… they hit on all the key effect points, but never stayed there long enough for anyone but Evan to care.

I have to mention as well that The Butterfly Effect has a few rather large holes in its plot. Mostly, I can’t understand why Evan refused to simply return to the blackout event in question when things went wrong and try a different way to fix it. True to its name, just a couple of tiny things make everything blow up for him in almost every case. He could just try it again, couldn’t he? Also, they never explain the origin of this hereditary ability to change the past? Was his grandfather exposed to gamma rays as a child? Attend Hogwarts? Or is it just some random genetic brain anomaly that allows them to manipulate time and space? Most frustrating.

Probably one of the things that bugged me the most is the Director’s Cut ending. In the Theatrical version, as a last resort, Evan realizes that Kayleigh is better off without him, and makes one last trip to a birthday party when they were 7 and proceeds to alienate her beyond all repair. They grow up separately, and are both decently successful and happy, and none of his friends are insane. There is even a cliché déjà vu moment as they pass each other in the street, and you think she recognizes him, but she’s not sure, so they keep on walking. But in the Director’s Cut, Evan decides that the world would be better off without him entirely, and travels back to the womb and strangles himself with the umbilical cord. What the fuck? No worries there, Mr. Emo, I’m sure your mom would love the gift of a third stillborn child. Nice work, champ.

In conclusion, The Butterfly Effect is a less than mediocre movie. I didn’t gain much enjoyment from it, and I spent most of my time waiting for it to get exciting. It was rather predictable, poorly explained, and dramatically ineffectual. The premise was good, the cast was pretty great, and even showed some decent versatility by being able to play their characters in several realities, but in the end, the film just did not deliver a lasting performance for the audience.

Wow, I got through this review without an abortion joke after watching a baby hang himself in the womb. Where’s DMUSER when you need him?

Scoring

            

Watch the video above to see Rick “Never Gonna Give You Up” Astley belt out a mundane pop song while the camera swings around him. Sadly, this new single, called “Light’s Out,” does not live up to Astley’s historic ballad.

45th place on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games belongs to Rock N’ Roll Racing. This game was release for the Super NES on June 4, 1993. It also came out for the SEGA Genesis, and later the GameBoy Advance. It was developed by a company known as Silicon & Synapse, [...]]]>

45th place on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games belongs to Rock N’ Roll Racing. This game was release for the Super NES on June 4, 1993. It also came out for the SEGA Genesis, and later the GameBoy Advance. It was developed by a company known as Silicon & Synapse, which was shortly thereafter renamed to the now famous Blizzard Entertainment.

Although Rock N’ Roll Racing is most certainly a racing game, it differs widely from the norms of that genre. Rather than placing the player’s perspective behind his or her vehicle to produce a control scheme meant to emulate being “behind the wheel,” this title gives players an isometric view of things. Controlling your car from this perspective takes some getting used to if you’re accustomed to other SNES racers like Super Mario Kart and F-Zero, as suddenly every direction on the d-pad matters, not just left and right. The isometric point-of-view allowed the developer to introduce hazards in the third dimension. Players must take advantage of ramps, and avoid landing their jumps outside the tracks.

In both the one and two player modes, gamers zip around small looping tracks, picking up cash and health packs while avoiding the hazards provided by the other racers (four always play at once, with up to three being computer controlled). Rock N’ Roll Racing‘s gameplay is also highly focused on combat, with competitors launching projectiles at one another and leaving behind dangerous mines.

Rock N’ Roll Racing is a perfect match for the SNES controller. B is used for acceleration, while A, X, and Y are each mapped to the abilities of vehicles. One for projectiles, one for mines, and one for boosting/jumping (depending upon your selected vehicle).

There are seven playable characters in this game, each with his or her own stat benefits. This includes one unlockable character straight out of another Silicon & Synapse game, Olaf, from The Lost Vikings. As players progress, they earn money by winning races and collecting cash as items within those races. Those funds can then be put towards purchasing new vehicles and upgrades for those vehicles.

Rock N’ Roll Racing‘s presentation is rightfully famous. The game’s name refers to its pumping sound track, which features instrumental versions of rock classics like “Paranoid” by Black Sabbath, “Born to be Wild” by Steppenwolf, and “Bad to the Bone” by George Thorogood. Over top of this music, the game’s raucous announcer, played by real life commentator Larry “Supermouth” Huffman is often heard shouting things like “The stage is set, the green flag drops!” Additionally, the game sports a cheesy futuristic aesthetic that looks like it was ripped straight out of a comic book, full of alien competitors and alien worlds.

Rock N’ Roll Racing is another true gem of the 16-bit era. Thanks to its speedy gameplay, recognizable soundtrack, and vibrant art direction, it holds up today and is worth checking out. No patience for outdated gameplay needed here.

Check back next week for entry 44 on the Definitive 50 SNES games.

            

With summer winding down, and me in a desperate need to accomplish as many goals as possible, its time to crank out another Dungeon’s Boss update on the games I’ve been playing lately.

Resident Evil 4: Specifically, the Wii Edition. I played through this game some time ago on GameCube, so [...]]]>

With summer winding down, and me in a desperate need to accomplish as many goals as possible, its time to crank out another Dungeon’s Boss update on the games I’ve been playing lately.

Resident Evil 4: Specifically, the Wii Edition. I played through this game some time ago on GameCube, so I already knew how spectacular it was. Having said that, I didn’t feel all that compelled to play through it again after I lost the save data and was unable to play through on the equivalent of New Game +. Already knowing I was a fan of the Wii’s change in controls, and suddenly becoming aware of how easy it is to grab Wii save files off the internet and use them in my own games brought me around for another go.

With everything unlocked, and Leon overpowered to shit, RE4 is a completely different experience. I love the opportunity to blast through enemies that gave me so much trouble before. Now I can enjoy the story and atmosphere in a relaxed, much less agitated, state.

Personal Trainer Walking: Probably the most enjoyable so-called “non-game” I’ve ever experienced. This is more of a software app bundled with a couple step counters. I’m loving all the stat tracking, as well as the ever-so-wise character who guides me through the mystical journey of walking a lot. The guilt he provides is a constant source of inspiration.

StarFox, Rock n’ Roll Racing, Aladdin, etc.: I hope it’s no secret that I’m hard at work on The Definitive 50 SNES Games video series here at Shufflingdead. As such, I’m in a constant state of research, reading about, playing, and bargain hunting for classic games. It’s already been an eye-opening trip to revisit the SNES catalog I loved so dearly as a child. Some games hold up significantly better than others (Aladdin is still awesome, Stunt Race FX significantly less than I remember).

            

German games developer Kaasa Health has been revealed to be working on a WiiWare title called Pelvic Floor Muscle Trainer. A rating from European ratings board PEGI let the news out.

Kaasa’s Nico Kaartinen explains that the title is being made for mothers whose pregnancies have led to problems with their [...]]]>

German games developer Kaasa Health has been revealed to be working on a WiiWare title called Pelvic Floor Muscle Trainer. A rating from European ratings board PEGI let the news out.

Kaasa’s Nico Kaartinen explains that the title is being made for mothers whose pregnancies have led to problems with their pelvic floor muscles, or Kegels.

No real information has been give as to what the game will look like or entail. Hopefully, men will be able to participate in the Kegel exercises as well. Wikipedia tells me that said exercises can help men in profound ways, granting stronger erections, restoring erectile dysfunction, preventing premature ejaculation, and even allowing for multiple orgasms.

[source]

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This week’s show features a return to high quality audio, and a full cast of guest podcasters. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and [...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This week’s show features a return to high quality audio, and a full cast of guest podcasters. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
Religion vs. scary Twilight vampires sent by Satan
Pokémon’s Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny get redesign
Star Wars fragrances exist for some reason
Hong Kong to deliver first 3D porn movie
Om nom nom nom: Burger King’s Pizza Burger
Om nom nom nom: Christina Hendricks
The Empire Strikes Back: Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen suing Apple, Google, Facebook, kitchen sink, your mom
Britney Spears loli princess once more
Blockbuster on the brink

Other Topics:
Definitive 50 SNES games: #46 Aerobiz Supersonic
Shameful Human(s) of the Week: Kevin Rose and the entire Digg community
Question of the Week: Star Track?
Let’s Tap Review
Games in Review #5 – Borderlands

            

We reported earlier that things over at social networking/link sharing site Digg.com got a little wonky with a recent site redesign. When Digg v4 launched, there was an uproarious user protestation due to a wealth of bugs, absence of features, and what was seen to be the “selling out” of Digg to large [...]]]>

We reported earlier that things over at social networking/link sharing site Digg.com got a little wonky with a recent site redesign. When Digg v4 launched, there was an uproarious user protestation due to a wealth of bugs, absence of features, and what was seen to be the “selling out” of Digg to large sites and corporations.

Most of the tech problems have gone away, and founder Kevin Rose has promised fixes for most of the missing features. Unrest regarding selling out, however, has burgeoned into full-on revolt. On the new Digg, users are encouraged to follow other users, who are able to auto-submit entries from their own websites. Large sites with strong Digg followings already in place have been able to dominate.

Hilariously, that has never been more true than today, with legions of Digg users subscribing to the feed for Digg competitor Reddit, and voting up that site’s posts (which link to Reddit, and then on to the actual web page of interest). Essentially, Digg has been transformed by its own users into a massive advertisement for its rival.

The image to the right is a screen shot of the most popular entries on Digg today. Every single one of them is a link to Reddit. The comment section of every one of those, as well as just about every other entry on Digg, is filled with anti-Digg, pro-Reddit sentiment.

Reddit has been kind enough to respond by putting a shovel in the hand of their mascot, and starting a help thread for new users.

I’ve seen plenty of mass-user reactions before. I’ve seen community revolts, forum invasions, and 4chan topics that evolved into real-world protests. I don’t recall ever seeing so many users of a site so valuable or popular manage to screw things up so badly for that site’s owners.

            

In an attempt to bum rush my To-Do List for some last-minute points, I got myself to watch another member of the Computing Science 101 pack, Antitrust. Here’s what I thought of it.

Plot

Milo is a computer programmer who is headhunted by a giant global corporation called NURV (Never [...]]]>

In an attempt to bum rush my To-Do List for some last-minute points, I got myself to watch another member of the Computing Science 101 pack, Antitrust. Here’s what I thought of it.

Plot

Milo is a computer programmer who is headhunted by a giant global corporation called NURV (Never Underestimate Radical Vision) and offered a lucrative job opportunity at the firm. Although sad to leave his friends in the small-time project they started together, he takes the position and moves to the company’s headquarters in Oregon.

Work goes very well at first, friendly coworkers, nice job perks, etc. And his job is made easier by his new boss, CEO Gary Winston, seemingly coming up with the missing piece of code out of thin air whenever he hits a roadblock. All is on track for the completion of the company’s next claim to fame, Synapse, a huge social multimedia network set to launch and revolutionize communication the world over.

This all changes when his best friend and former colleague is murdered, and then Winston delivering another piece of ground-breaking programming the following day. Suspicious, Milo begins to investigate, and following the gruesome discovery that NURV is behind the conspiratorial theft, murder, and cover-up of dozens of programmers, he sets out to bring about righteous justice.

Cast

Not bad. Ryan Phillippe plays the lead as Milo, with the oh-so-hot Rachel Leigh Cook backing him up as the hot girl from work/sort of other woman, but not really/traitorous biatch in the end, and Tim Robbins makes a great creepy but charismatic corporate villain. He kinda looks like a cross between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.

Weskimo’s Take

This movie has a lot of flaws. The soundtrack is pretty good, though its ‘suspense music’ can be pretty oddly placed sometimes. And from several instances of poorly explained story and weak script to the beat-you-about-the-face predictability present throughout, there is a fair bit wrong with this movie.

That being said, I like Antitrust. It’s got that nerdy computer-based storyline that I find appealing, along with a Big Brother type of story progression where Milo discovers just exactly how much of his life is tracked, followed, and manipulated by the evil watchdog enterprise of NURV.

Otherwise, I suppose my only real complaint is how little actually happens in the movie. It sort of seems like it runs you in circles the whole time. I suppose this could be because that is what the movie is about, basically playing for time until the life-altering media network is complete, but it really comes through as simply a lack of significant actions.

All in all, Antitrust is a decent movie. It won’t blow your mind with a big twist ending or anything, and if it does, it will be about half an hour before the writers wanted it to. Worth the watch, but it’s no Hackers.

Scoring
Scoring

            

Japanese artist and the genius behind Akihabara Majokko Princess, Takashi Murakami, has gotten Britney Spears onto the cover of British Pop Magazine (above).

What you see is no standard photo series, however. Murakami purposefully made the photos to resemble scenes taken from the manga My Wife Is A Grade Schooler. The [...]]]>

Japanese artist and the genius behind Akihabara Majokko Princess, Takashi Murakami, has gotten Britney Spears onto the cover of British Pop Magazine (above).

What you see is no standard photo series, however. Murakami purposefully made the photos to resemble scenes taken from the manga My Wife Is A Grade Schooler. The manga was used as an example of sexualized young-looking characters back when Japan was looking at banning such depictions (although My Wife Is A Grade Schooler is gag manga and its material was intended to be social commentary).

Murakami’s photographic recreations with Britney Spears are intended to show such manga as art. Murakami says “I thought it should be immortalized as an artistic event to be marked in history. I am an artist. Because of this, I did what artists do.”

[source]

            

Last time we ran a story on Blockbuster’s slide into collapse, it was early July, and the company had just been de-listed from the NYSE for their stock being valued at less than $1 (it was $0.18 at the time).

A couple months later, and here we are with the company [...]]]>

Last time we ran a story on Blockbuster’s slide into collapse, it was early July, and the company had just been de-listed from the NYSE for their stock being valued at less than $1 (it was $0.18 at the time).

A couple months later, and here we are with the company readying for a mid-September bankruptcy. In Chapter 11, the Blockbuster hopes to close 500-800 stores, and get out of the leases for the corresponding buildings. Bankruptcy would also give the company a breather in paying interest on its $920 million debt. The money saved would go toward growing the staggering behemoth’s kiosk and internet rental services, the two sub-industries currently bludgeoning Blockbuster to death.

If all of that doesn’t completely satisfy your schadenfreude itch, now hear this. The company’s stock sits at $0.11, and Blockbuster’s market value is $24 million. Former owner Viacom bought Blockbuster in 1994 for $8.4 billion.

[source]

            

Welcome back to Games in Review! Today I’ll be reviewing RPG-Shooter, Borderlands for the Xbox 360.

Story

The story of Borderlands is blessedly simple: You’re a Treasure Hunter on the planet Pandora looking for a legendary find called The Vault. Nobody has ever been able to find The Vault, so [...]]]>

Welcome back to Games in Review! Today I’ll be reviewing RPG-Shooter, Borderlands for the Xbox 360.

Story

The story of Borderlands is blessedly simple: You’re a Treasure Hunter on the planet Pandora looking for a legendary find called The Vault. Nobody has ever been able to find The Vault, so of course no one can tell you what is inside, but many have speculated that The Vault contains spectacular riches, far-advanced technology, or anything else they’ve ever desired.

As a note, I was hoping for a secret harem. I was kind of right, but not in a good way.

Gameplay

When you begin the game, you take on one of 4 characters to control, each with his or her own unique skill set, proficiencies, and ability tree. Your choices are Hunter (for sniping and revolvers), Soldier (assault rifles and shotguns), Siren (SMGs), and Berserker (Fists and Rockets). You can obviously attempt to customize your characters, and it is often useful to steer away from the predetermined career paths in order to use some more effective weapons or round out your party if you are playing with friends. Your view is from first person, and you can level up your character in the menus to learn new abilities, gain stat boosts and critical hits, and otherwise customize your ass-kicking machine.

The game consists of many small quests of the usual variety: kill this, steal that, find these pieces of a new weapon, etc. Quests are activated either at designated terminals around the world or by talking to the often surly locals. You can simply push your way through the story, but it is extremely worthwhile to play as many of the optional side quests as you can for big payoffs of the experience, gold, and weaponry kinds.

You can play with a party of up to four friends, and the game will balance the difficulty based on the number of players involved. Luckily, the designers realized the tendencies of the internet and the bane of the infamous Leaver to online gamers. The game will automatically scale down the difficulty if a player leaves.

The gameplay is fairly straightforward, but it’s not a simple blast-through-everything type of game. There are many different armor types, weapon strengths and weaknesses, enemy strategies, and customizable abilities to be considered to even have a chance at success.

Combat is usually quite sudden and frantic, barely offering time to whisper “oh, shit”, making it extremely important to be as prepared as possible. If you or an ally is downed, that person can be revived by either getting in the killshot on an enemy for a self-revive (called a second wind), or be picked up by another player. If the timer expires, the character respawns at the last spawn point, usually leaving the team at a significant disadvantage, so know when to get the hell out of Dodge.

Graphics

All in all, pretty good. Environments are well rendered and engaging, and it really adds to the game’s Western-Comic Booky feeling. Not really much to complain about, but not groundbreaking either. Really cool stylized textures though. Nice to see something different.

Sound

Gotta give this one some good marks for sound. Between using pretty decent weapon and attack effects, effective ‘in danger’ combat music, and including Cage the Elephant’s ‘Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked’ as their overall theme song, Borderlands gains some points for me in the sound category. Even the voice acting was more than tolerable.

Overall

This game is worth the play. Other than a couple of annoying missions that my completionist compatriots and I embarked upon and a startlingly easy final boss, Borderlands delivered everything that was promised. Think Halo crossed with Diablo. Sounds pretty good, right? It is.

Gameplay:
Graphics:
Sound:
Overall:

Check out Shufflingdead’s video review of Borderlands.

            

Maybe he’s sick of seeing his old company’s glory days slipping away while the market cap of ancient rival Apple passes them by. Maybe Google’s near-monopoly makes him jealous. Or maybe he’s just trying to horde as much cash as possible before giving it away to charity (as he has pledged). Whatever [...]]]>

Maybe he’s sick of seeing his old company’s glory days slipping away while the market cap of ancient rival Apple passes them by. Maybe Google’s near-monopoly makes him jealous. Or maybe he’s just trying to horde as much cash as possible before giving it away to charity (as he has pledged). Whatever the case, Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen has filed a suit against Apple, Google, AOL, Facebook, ebay, Netflix, Office Depot, OfficeMax, Staples, Yahoo, and YouTube.

Allen contends that his company, Interval Licensing, owns patents on some of the core features found in the services of the companies listed above. Allen claims to own patents on things like giving internet viewers suggested products based on what they are viewing, among other obvious and widely used website features.

Allen’s suit lacks a specific dollar amount being sought. Although, considering the company’s he’s after, Allen surely wants a lot of money. Perhaps even all of it.

[source]

            

From time to time, you might come across the odd individual who tries to talk to you about the Final Frontier, but something seems off about it. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about the conversation is nagging at you, just tugging at the thread-like hold you have [...]]]>

From time to time, you might come across the odd individual who tries to talk to you about the Final Frontier, but something seems off about it. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about the conversation is nagging at you, just tugging at the thread-like hold you have on your sanity.

Then you realize: They are saying “Track” when they should be saying “Trek”. At first, you think, oh, they must have had a slight pronunciation error, they’ll get it right next time. But they don’t. They never do. They keep on saying “Track”, as if the Enterprise is on a predetermined track around space rather than the epically adventurous explorative TREK that they truly embark upon.

So does this bother you? And do you correct them? Or let them continue to blissfully annoy nit-picky nerds like me?

            

It’s that time again: Christina Hendricks has done something, which means I have another excuse to post pictures of her.

This time, the red-headed star of Mad Men and Firefly has turned up in ads for London Fog. Who knew trench coats could be so complimentary? Note: the last image is [...]]]>

It’s that time again: Christina Hendricks has done something, which means I have another excuse to post pictures of her.

This time, the red-headed star of Mad Men and Firefly has turned up in ads for London Fog. Who knew trench coats could be so complimentary? Note: the last image is from some separate magazine shoot she did

In other Christina-watching news, she recently showed up on Etsy, and showed up in some magazine called Capitol File (that’s where the first image in the gallery comes from). Oh yeah, and somebody has started a site called FUCK YEAH CHRISTINA HENDRICKS!

[source]

            

Digg is some kind of social media/link sharing mega site founded by TechTV’s Kevin Rose. On August 25, 2010, version four of Digg.com went live. The redesign brought about a wide range of changes both great and small, from a layout cleansing (that looks infinitely better in my opinion), to a refocus on [...]]]>

Digg is some kind of social media/link sharing mega site founded by TechTV’s Kevin Rose. On August 25, 2010, version four of Digg.com went live. The redesign brought about a wide range of changes both great and small, from a layout cleansing (that looks infinitely better in my opinion), to a refocus on following the activities of your friends and favourite websites rather than the hive mind of the collected Digg community.

The transition has been shaky from a technical standpoint, with Rose and co. re-launching Digg seemingly without adequate preparation. Despite a lengthy testing period, the new Digg has been up, down, and glitchy ever since it went live. The extra click required to hop from your personal stream to the site-wide most popular submissions is also somewhat annoying. Speaking of personal streams, and as a means of being completely self serving, I want to recommend you follow Shufflingdead on Digg.

But this post isn’t just about Kevin. It’s also about the legion of basement dwellers who rely on his site for distraction while their youths slip away. You see, Diggers, like all geeks, are a ravenous bunch of haters. Change of any kind is to be reviled. Digg’s revamp has garnered nothing less than a torrent of whining from its millions of users. A quick scan from this comment page garnered these gems (after the jump):

What the fuck did you do Kevin Rose. Fix this shit.

-swellin

Fix the whole fucking thing! Give us the option to view it the old way. I don’t even want to come on this site anymore.

-mywhitenoise

No bury button. Digg has become facebook. What’s with this social media shit – I already have a facebook account simply because I’m forced to if I don’t want to make new accounts everywhere. Now the view sucks, I can’t easily bury a shitty story like this one, and it keeps trying to integrate with this social shit.

I’m antisocial and asocial. Yes, I actively want the downfall of society. Yes, I dislike everyone. Even those who agree with me. I’m your usual Digg user. We don’t like this shit. Put it back.

-Michichael

            

Is there anything the king can’t do?

Burger King will soon offer a 2500+ calorie burger-pizza hybrid exclusively at its Times Square Whopper Bar. The life destroying, yet assuredly delicious, monstrosity is comprised of a 9.5 inch bun filled with beef, pepperoni, mozzarella, pesto, and marinara sauce.

The salivation inspiring [...]]]>

Is there anything the king can’t do?

Burger King will soon offer a 2500+ calorie burger-pizza hybrid exclusively at its Times Square Whopper Bar. The life destroying, yet assuredly delicious, monstrosity is comprised of a 9.5 inch bun filled with beef, pepperoni, mozzarella, pesto, and marinara sauce.

The salivation inspiring sandwich contains more calories than the entire recommended daily intake for men–2520 vs 2500. It also boasts twice the adult recommended daily intake of salt. As a result, some are calling the aberration the “fat bomb.”

The thing comes cut into six pizza-esque pieces and, according to Burger King VP John Schaufelberger, is “intended to be shared.” Nevertheless, I feel confident in saying plenty will gobble down the entire thing single-mouthedly.

[source]

            

Perhaps spurred on by that oft discussed Avatar sex scene, Hong Kong has the world’s first 3D porn under way. It’s called 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy.

The film has a staggering $3.2 million budget, and judging by the set visit in this mildly NSFW video, it shows. Get ready [...]]]>

Perhaps spurred on by that oft discussed Avatar sex scene, Hong Kong has the world’s first 3D porn under way. It’s called 3D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy.

The film has a staggering $3.2 million budget, and judging by the set visit in this mildly NSFW video, it shows. Get ready to see well costumed actors make hot 3D love to each other in front of a giant spouting penis fountain.

Despite filming in Hong Kong, director Christopher Sun decided to go with Japanese actors for the main roles. He felt Hong Kongese actors were too conservative.

I can’t argue with his casting choice too much, considering the look of female lead Saori Hara, pictured above. Still, I think I’ll hold out on picking up the needed 3D display technology until Hitomi Tanaka (Google at your own risk) gets cast in the sequel.

            

46th place on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games goes to the airline business simulator Aerobiz Supersonic. It was released in North America in 1994 for the Super Nintendo and SEGA Genesis. One of the first message you see when starting up this game is the line “From its Executive Series,” [...]]]>

46th place on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games goes to the airline business simulator Aerobiz Supersonic. It was released in North America in 1994 for the Super Nintendo and SEGA Genesis. One of the first message you see when starting up this game is the line “From its Executive Series,” which is a reference to Aerobiz, the first in this series of business sims. Supersonic plays very similarly to its predecessor, but does add more options, and significantly more locations.

In this game, the player takes the role of an airline CEO. Depending upon the difficulty selected, that player’s objective is to lead his or her company to corporate dominance in four to seven international regions. Four 20-year time periods are available to choose from, and players must meet their goals within that time frame.

The time eras are 1955-1975, 1970-1990, 1985-2005, and 2000-2020. Each period has its own flavour and quirks, dependent upon the history of that time. Events like the Cold War, the formation of the EU, wars, the Olympics, and natural disasters all appear in the game, and must be played around strategically. Changing technologies also affect gameplay, with planes capable of longer distance flights becoming available in later eras.

Current events are also important to consider when choosing where you will open your airline. Seven regions are available, each with several major cities to pick from as a hub. In the later eras, I would recommend picking Tokyo, as there are many small local cities you can charge highly to fly routes to, as well as the more obvious major regional cities. It is probably better to choose an American city in the earlier eras of the game, as many markets in the Asian and European regions are difficult to open up thanks to Cold War tensions.

Aerobiz demands players balance the needs of their customers with cold economic realities. As the CEO, you must strategically decide what cities to open routes to, where and what side businesses to buy, which flights you should gouge consumers on, and which ones you should undercut the competition on.

This business sim allows zero to four players to play, without the need for a multitap add-on. Four companies always compete in the game, and those roles can be filled by either humans or the computer. Humans will need to pass the controllers back and forth, as each person takes his or her turn individually.

Aerobiz isn’t the fastest paced SNES game, and it requires a patient player, willing to put up with a control scheme better suited to the PC (the game is not compatible with the SNES Mouse, which would have been ideal). However, it does offer deep and rewarding gameplay for those willing to stick it out. Aerobiz Supersonic is one of my personal favourite Super Nintendo games.

Check back next week for entry 45 on the Definitive 50 SNES games.

            

Two official and limited edition Star Wars fragrances are now available.

Straight from the bottomless neck-pouch of George Lucas comes Slave Leia Perfume, which is said to be “More powerful than a thermal detonator yet more comfortable than a metal bikini!” This perfume’s bottle has a metal chain hanging off of [...]]]>

Two official and limited edition Star Wars fragrances are now available.

Straight from the bottomless neck-pouch of George Lucas comes Slave Leia Perfume, which is said to be “More powerful than a thermal detonator yet more comfortable than a metal bikini!” This perfume’s bottle has a metal chain hanging off of it resembling the one Leia wore while held captive by Jabba the Hutt. It’s hard to say what her highness smelled like while imprisoned by a giant space slug, but my guess is something like vagina. They don’t call her Lay-ah for nothing.

Men also get a cologne, it’s Eau Lando. You’ll be smellin’ like a felon with this scent, “Because a suave pirate-turned-respectable businessman deserves the best the galaxy has to offer.”

Kirk always got a laid a lot more than anyone in Star Wars, I’ll stick with Tiberius.

[source]

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This week’s audio quality is a steep valley compared to last week’s stunning peak. Bear with us folks. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback [...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This week’s audio quality is a steep valley compared to last week’s stunning peak. Bear with us folks. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
Apple smuggles explosive device onto Tokyo train
Google earns meager protest while crazies complain about their own rights
Celebrities gush, geek out, and embarass themselves over Star Wars characters
Scare-Tactic Proposal Needs Bigger Words
A Love Plus birthday to reflect upon with sadness
Net neutrality tensions mount as politicians and RIAA weigh in
Damn it this is hot: Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury
Lineage II addict “unable to function independently” finds time to file lawsuit
Wack attacks against free speech champions Assange and Franken
Trendwatch: performing repetitive tasks online for almost no money

Other Topics:
Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Definitive 50 SNES games: #47 Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Shameful Human of the Week: Chris Anderson
Question of the Week: Star Wars vs. Star Trek
Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies Review
Writer’s Block Ended: Constantine Revisited

            

Twilight may be an abomination unto literature, but did you know it’s an abomination unto God as well? That’s according to Mark Driscoll, the hip Seattle pastor (see, he’s hip because he dresses like the cool kids and has charisma) watchable above.

If you didn’t know, books about vampires contain subject [...]]]>

Twilight may be an abomination unto literature, but did you know it’s an abomination unto God as well? That’s according to Mark Driscoll, the hip Seattle pastor (see, he’s hip because he dresses like the cool kids and has charisma) watchable above.

If you didn’t know, books about vampires contain subject matter like “sorcery, witchcraft, divination, [and] wicca,” not to mention dead people who talk to you from beyond the grave. That shit is the Devil’s work, says Driscoll.

I don’t think the pastor needs to worry too much, I’ve heard his buddy Jesus can hold his own against vampires pretty well.

[source]

            

Pokémon‘s sexy duo of Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny are getting a redesign in the upcoming anime series based on the new Black and White games. The next series is called Best Wishes.

Nurse Joy’s loopy hair has thankfully been retained, but her clothing is toned down from the I’ve-seen-this-in-porn outfit [...]]]>

Pokémon‘s sexy duo of Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny are getting a redesign in the upcoming anime series based on the new Black and White games. The next series is called Best Wishes.

Nurse Joy’s loopy hair has thankfully been retained, but her clothing is toned down from the I’ve-seen-this-in-porn outfit she had before. Officer Jenny, meanwhile, has been given the cropped Hermione look.

Brock could not immediately be reached for comment. I can only assume he is in a state of total shock.

I can’t have been the only one who spent a small part of his teenage years dwelling on the hotness of Pokémon‘s Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny. Then again, maybe I was.

[source]

            

SFGate.com is reporting that there is a growing trend among unemployed morons to accept virtual money in exchange for doing real work.

Their article tells the story of 28 year old Amanda Dorsey, who has been willing to check search engine links and other dull and repetitive tasks for CrowdFlower Inc., [...]]]>

SFGate.com is reporting that there is a growing trend among unemployed morons to accept virtual money in exchange for doing real work.

Their article tells the story of 28 year old Amanda Dorsey, who has been willing to check search engine links and other dull and repetitive tasks for CrowdFlower Inc., which pays her in the currency of TinierMe.com. She’s supposedly a writer, which leads me to wonder why she isn’t spending her time not making money blogging. Her in-game avatar has gotten a couple clothing items out of the deal.

Another example SFGate provides is of Tina Wang, a recovering back surgery patient who has spent her time off judging search results on eBay to earn “Swag Bucks.” Wang can get about 450 Swag Bucks during a seven hour shift, enough for a $5 Amazon gift card.

            

I must apologize, both to our readers and the rest of the staff at here shufflingdead.com. I’ve been really slacking these days. My Movie Maundering article is now two weeks late. I’ve even got two started right now, but I just can’t seal the deal. I have been trying to figure out [...]]]>

I must apologize, both to our readers and the rest of the staff at here shufflingdead.com. I’ve been really slacking these days. My Movie Maundering article is now two weeks late. I’ve even got two started right now, but I just can’t seal the deal. I have been trying to figure out why I just couldn’t get into reviewing another movie, but now I understand: I didn’t fully and completely proclaim my hatred of Constantine, my last review. It’s been tearing me up inside without me even knowing. But luckily, a half bottle of wine and some quiet have allowed me to discover this prolific problem, and I am about to settle in to rectify the situation. Strap in, boys and girls.
This movie left me with a feeling of senseless rage. Absolutely nothing about it was good.

Let’s start with some Shia rage today. First of all, and I don’t know how I forgot to mention this in my initial review, but after the credits roll, Neo (Keanu, when you learn to act like anyone but Neo, I’ll start calling you something other than Neo) visits Shia LaBeouf’s grave, only to witness his triumphant return as a fucking angel. Seriously? Neo has been working his ass off, banishing demons all over the damn place, and Shia says a few biblical phrases and is awarded angelhood? That’s gotta be frustrating. Second, why on earth is the cab driver his wish-to-be sidekick? How often do you even get the same cab driver twice? And third, why does he try to be as good at it as Neo? Doesn’t he know that Neo is The One?

I’ll get back to Neo now. They say several times in the movie that Constantine has no real powers, that he is a mere mortal. Then why the hell is he able to defeat the magics of one of the most powerful heavenly beings around with some runes on his arm that were clearly drawn with a sharpie in Grade 10 Physics class and pretending to be on Dragonball Z? Then there is the fact that he simply walks through a host of demon warriors with a cross-shaped, pimped and gold-plated shotgun. And the chain-smoking man dying of lung cancer, who smokes 4 packs a day, doesn’t wheeze or cough once during the whole thing?

And then we have the true workhorse of the movie: the nameless man carrying the key to earthly destruction. Does he HAVE to be Mexican? Really Warner Bros? You had a man dig up a centuries-old spearhead and WALK it all the fucking way to LA? Nice work there Warner, thank you. Thank you for telling the world that Mexicans are Hell’s Couriers.

There is so much unbelievable crap flying around Constantine that I half expected them to turn around and tell me that my dog snoring in the middle of the night is the devil speaking to him in code to tell him to shit on the sidewalk in the morning. I’m going to have to wrap this up because my rage is starting to overcome my ability to be coherent. This movie freaking sucks.

            

The internet is serious business these days. Wikileaks made news some time ago when they released thousands of classified reports pertaining to the war in Afghanistan. That brought a lot of attention to the site, and its founder Julian Assange.

On Friday, a warrant was issued for Assange in Sweden following [...]]]>

The internet is serious business these days. Wikileaks made news some time ago when they released thousands of classified reports pertaining to the war in Afghanistan. That brought a lot of attention to the site, and its founder Julian Assange.

On Friday, a warrant was issued for Assange in Sweden following a rape and molestation accusation. Convenient for his critics, huh? Well, a judge has dropped the charges, explaining “I don’t think there is reason to suspect that he has committed rape.” No doubt the stigma associated with the charges will linger. Meanwhile, Wikileaks’ response via Twitter claimed they “had been warned to expect ‘dirty tricks.’”

Meanwhile, net neutrality proponent US Senator Al Franken just found a hole in one of his home’s windows, possibly from a BB gun. Police say it is unlikely the attack was targeting Franken based on the chances his residence was known. Still, the possibility remains. Judging by the commentors on CNN.com, voters are unhappy that the man is sticking up for the general population rather than corporate interests. Vanilla Gorilla claims “simply put he is clown with a distorted moral compass.”

Sources: BBC, CNN

            

We live in time in which it is not uncommon for cranky nerds with nothing better to do to file frivolous lawsuits against the corporations which entertain them. What is less common is for judges not to throw out the cases immediately.

Hawaiian man Craig Smallwood has brought a negligence lawsuit [...]]]>

We live in time in which it is not uncommon for cranky nerds with nothing better to do to file frivolous lawsuits against the corporations which entertain them. What is less common is for judges not to throw out the cases immediately.

Hawaiian man Craig Smallwood has brought a negligence lawsuit against NCsoft for supposedly not properly warning against the dangerously addictive nature of the grind-heavy MMO Lineage II. Amazingly, a federal judge is allowing the case to proceed. Smallwood claims to have played the titillating title for 20,000 hours between 2004 and 2009 (that’s an average of 11 hours a day).

Smallwood’s addiction was so severe that he was “unable to function independently in usual daily activities such as getting up, getting dressed, bathing or communicating with family and friends.” Wait. Screaming at your mom for more Pizza Pops and energy drinks isn’t communicating with your family? A half-open robe doesn’t constitute getting dressed?

[source]

            

The ultimate nerd showdown. Star Trek or Star Wars?

This question has plagued our society for far too long. It’s time to settle it once and for all. We at Shufflingdead do not just want to know this. We need to know whether the Force is with us or not. We [...]]]>

The ultimate nerd showdown. Star Trek or Star Wars?

This question has plagued our society for far too long. It’s time to settle it once and for all. We at Shufflingdead do not just want to know this. We need to know whether the Force is with us or not. We need to know the value of the Prime Directive. We need to know if these are the droids we are looking for, and perhaps most of all, we need to know how many goddamn lights there are!

            

The gathering net neutrality war is seeing some big names take sides. In addition to the early protesters, four members of the House Energy and Commerce committee in the United States have hopped aboard the Google-Verizon hate train. Their complaints are damning, with one member arguing that the Veroogle deal could “have [...]]]>

The gathering net neutrality war is seeing some big names take sides. In addition to the early protesters, four members of the House Energy and Commerce committee in the United States have hopped aboard the Google-Verizon hate train. Their complaints are damning, with one member arguing that the Veroogle deal could “have the effect of choking off much of the most important, creative, and valuable contributions the Internet can make to the idea-driven economy of the 21st century.” Even more noisly, net neutrality hero and senate superstar Al Franken has been driving home the risks associated with handing the internet over to corporate control.

On the other side of this ultimate battle between good and evil is the internet-hating, freedom-hating behemoth, the RIAA. No surprise here, the Recording Industry Association of America feels the Google/Verizon proposal doesn’t go far enough. In a classy argument blatantly attempting to associate pirates with more sinister internet users, they want to see ISPs made the net police, with legislation giving them the ability to fight “unlawful activity such as copyright infringement and child pornography.”

            

Ladies geeking out about sci-fi authors and liberally expressing themselves sexually? Urgggg.

Meet Chris Anderson, he’s the editor-in-chief of Wired. You know, that magazine that’s also a very successful website. Chris recently blasted out a massive article declaring “The Web Is Dead.” It’s a rather dull piece with a stunning headline designed to grab lots of attention here on the highly profitable web. Anderson argues [...]]]>

Meet Chris Anderson, he’s the editor-in-chief of Wired. You know, that magazine that’s also a very successful website. Chris recently blasted out a massive article declaring “The Web Is Dead.” It’s a rather dull piece with a stunning headline designed to grab lots of attention here on the highly profitable web. Anderson argues that the “web” part of the internet (that stuff you see in your browser) is quickly vanishing, and being replaced by isolated apps that use the internet but don’t live in the “web” ecosystem.

Chris begins his argument with a graph demonstrating that web traffic has dropped significantly compared to the rest of what the internet is used for. Have a look. Huh. It appears to be a chart of bandwidth usage, demonstrating that the web take has lessened relative to significantly more bandwidth-heavy uses. Hardly shocking. An even funnier thing about that bandwidth usage is that most of what the web has lost appears to have gone directly to video. You know, those moving pictures you watch all of the damn time through your browser on the web. Poor “other” has lost even more ground in recent years according to his chart. I wonder, where do all of those apps and X-Box connections Anderson claims are taking over fit in?

Don’t worry, my fellow interneters. This isn’t the first time a tech journalist has declared a technology, tech company, or tech trend dead a little prematurely. How many times were Nintendo and Apple declared dead during the ’90s?

Chris Anderson is a thoroughly shameful shameless attention grabber. At least the lengthy list of ironies inherent in his argument have given swarms of people something to talk about on this very lively web.

            

Ready to get depressed? It was Love Plus video-game girlfriend Rinko’s birthday yesterday, and all her guys did their bests to spoil her.

The awesome power of augmented reality means that you can now bring your Love Plus girlfriend into the pictures of her fake birthday. As you can see, one [...]]]>

Ready to get depressed? It was Love Plus video-game girlfriend Rinko’s birthday yesterday, and all her guys did their bests to spoil her.

The awesome power of augmented reality means that you can now bring your Love Plus girlfriend into the pictures of her fake birthday. As you can see, one smitten otaku threw his gal one heck of a party. Not content with just providing his lady with what are reportedly wasabi flavoured chips, he also got her an engraved Zippo lighter.

Other lovers of Rinko (there are plenty of copies of her to go around) got her intricately decorated cakes and piles of knick-knacks. One man even got his Rinko some jewelry in the form of a pinky ring.

            

Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi takes 47th on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games. The game is part of a trilogy of Super Star Wars releases for the SNES. Although all three are worth playing, I would argue this game is the pinnacle of the series, and it will [...]]]>

Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi takes 47th on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games. The game is part of a trilogy of Super Star Wars releases for the SNES. Although all three are worth playing, I would argue this game is the pinnacle of the series, and it will be the one to represent the three on this list. This run-and-gun action platformer was released in North American on June 22, 1994. The game was also released on the Game Boy and Game Gear. All three Super Star Wars games are available on Wii virtual console.

Super Return of the Jedi allows players to battle their way through the pits of Jabba’s palace, the sands of Tatooine, the forests of Endor, and the halls of the Death Star. Playable characters include Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Chewbacca, Princess Leia, and more. Carefully selecting which character to use for what level is a vital part of the strategy in the game. Luke’s light saber skills may be no match for a speedy boss who would be better dealt with by a blaster wielding Chewbacca who can keep his distance.

In addition to the standard 2D platforming levels, Super Return of the Jedi includes Mode 7 powered vehicle sequences which, for example, allow the player to experience the speed of the Endor speeder bike chase.

Star Wars fans will appreciate the locations and characters taken from the Return of the Jedi movie remixed and reformed for use in game. Classic locales like Jabba’s palace are recreated with all the embellishments you would expect an action platformer to make. Background characters are turned into swarming enemies, and single rooms are turned into sprawling halls filled with traps. You might not remember Luke slaughtering the native species of Tatooine en masse in the movie, but it turns out to be a pretty fun thing to do in game.

To further boost the nostalgic appeal, sound clips from the authentic voices of Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher, and James Earl Jones can be heard in Super Return of the Jedi.

In addition to a life bar, players must pay attention to a force meter which is reduced as special moves are performed. These moves include Luke throwing his lightsaber and Chewbacca spinning violently. As gamers make their way through the levels of the game, they will need to watch out for items like shields, thermal detonators, and 1ups. This is a challenging game which won’t allow lazy gamers to get very far.

The game does not feature full save functionality, but does provide players with passwords as an alternative.

The Super Star Wars trilogy is worth picking up in its entirety for collectors and Star Wars fans, but the similarity between the three games probably doesn’t warrant a pick-up from casual players looking to have some run-and-gun fun. Start with this one if you’re curious about the series.

Check back next week for entry 46 on the Definitive 50 SNES games.

            

A group of Ontario teachers trying to push a proposal to ban Wi-Fi networks in schools was firmly shut down yesterday. The group claims that the radiation caused by Wi-Fi usage is dangerous to children’s health. Despite having produced no research to back up the claim, the group felt that they had [...]]]>

A group of Ontario teachers trying to push a proposal to ban Wi-Fi networks in schools was firmly shut down yesterday. The group claims that the radiation caused by Wi-Fi usage is dangerous to children’s health. Despite having produced no research to back up the claim, the group felt that they had a valid bandwagon-able argument if  they used words like ‘health’, ‘radiation’, and ‘children’ in a claim against some kind of technological voodoo.

Luckily, sanity was victorious and the proposal was brushed off as easily as a stray salt n’ vinegar chip from my computer desk.

The issue stems from some parents and teachers becoming concerned when some children would experience headaches and stomach aches that would clear up on the weekends. But no, we couldn’t possibly question these kids’  motives for trying to get out of going to school, could we? Technology is involved somewhere, that must be the root of this totally unproven evil!

Several parents are still outraged, demanding that the issue be looked into, overlooking the fact that it already has, as the World Health Organization has already conducted conclusive studies on the issue, showing no negative effects of the minuscule radio frequency.

Teachers are not discouraged, however, they plan to get more big scary words for next time they talk this one up. One teacher, Terri Beck, goes on to say “We’ll have a crack at it again maybe with some language that other people might be willing to get on board with.” Ms. Beck, I’d suggest ‘Terrorist’ or ‘West Nile’. People are pretty scared of those these days.

[source]

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This week we experience a pretty steep incline in audio quality, check us out. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. [...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This week we experience a pretty steep incline in audio quality, check us out. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
Nintendo finally captures gorilla demographic
Blizzard Infests 1.5 million Command Centers with StarCraft II in 48 hours
Conservatives manipulate social media site Digg.com
TheChive.com manufactures meme: HOPA/HPOA girl
July NPD numbers an atrocity
Nerds freak out upon seeing Mark Hamill fiddle with a plastic stick
EVE Online lets you destroy real-world money
Medal of Honor gives media something to complain about
RUMOUR: Sony still hasn’t given up, PSPhone incoming

Other Topics:
The Dungeon: Animethon 17 (2010) Cosplay
Shameful Human(s) of the Week: Sergey Brin and Lawrence Page
Definitive 50 SNES games: #48 Mario Paint

            

Dear nerdlingers, have I got a movie for you. Ever dreamed of a film directed by the genius behind Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead based on an indie comic about 20-something slackerdom and filled with video game references both obvious and subtle? It may sound too goddamn awesome to exist in [...]]]>

Dear nerdlingers, have I got a movie for you. Ever dreamed of a film directed by the genius behind Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead based on an indie comic about 20-something slackerdom and filled with video game references both obvious and subtle? It may sound too goddamn awesome to exist in the same universe as Twilight: Eclipse, but such a thing is real, and it’s called Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It is sad indeed that I needed to tell you that, but not many of you seemed to notice. The film only grossed $10.6 million in its opening weekend. Let me try to convince you why it deserves so, so much more.

I’ll try to avoid spoiling too many of the specific video game winks and nods which exist within Scott Pilgrim, but hear this: the film opens with music ripped straight from Link to the Past. If your Nintendo nerd boners haven’t reached full mast yet, then consider this: Scott plays the bassline from Final Fantasy II.

Video game influence doesn’t just show up in the thrill provided by easy references. The story of Scott Pilgrim is told with the frantic, illogical logic of games. The movie’s pacing rapidly accelerates when Scott finds out he must battle his way through the seven evil exes of his new love interest, Ramona Flowers. No real explanation is given as to why this is the case. Even less of one is given for the remarkable powers most of the characters in the movie possess (like wielding flaming pixelated swords and traveling via sub-space). All of this is in glorious homage to the games which inspire the film, where fun holds significantly more value than adherence to reality.

I don’t mean to suggest that the shallowness of plot often found in games is carried over here. Scott’s true struggle is not in dealing with the League of Evil Exes, but rather life as an unemployed 22-year-old coming to terms with his own shallow existence, and the unkind way he treats the people around him. Scott is forced to juggle his feelings for Ramona along with his absence-of-feeling for his current girlfriend, naive high schooler Knives Chau.

Michael Cera is, of course, Scott Pilgrim. While Cera can once again be accused of playing the same deadpan wimp he always does, it’s hard to fault him here. Anyone in his place would have surely been doing his best Cera impression. The rest of the cast is filled with unknowns and semi-knowns taking on smaller roles and succeeding without exception. Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona Flowers is sexily dry-witted. Ellen Wong as Knives Chau is frantic and hilarious. Kieran Culkin, playing Scott’s older, gayer roommate Wallace, demonstrates honed comedic timing as he quips on Scott’s inability to run his own life.

To take only one small issue with the film, the members of Scott’s band Sex Bob-omb (seriously, that’s what they’re called) are disappointingly underused. Young Neil, Stephen Stills, and especially Kim Pine are funny and well cast. We just don’t get to see the three hanging out with Scott enough.

Scott Pilgrim isn’t just a character piece or a comedy. In fact, it’s an action film as much as anything else. Again, director Edgar Wright excels here. As Scott battles through the pantheon of Ramona’s evil exes, we’re treated to video game action come to life. Characters wield stat-boosting swords, giant hammers, and supernatural powers. Rhythm-based dance-offs and wild fist fights straight out of arcades are presented one after another replete with the corresponding panache of chirpy sound effects and glowing lights.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a film that gets it. Video game references that are correct. Video game references that are used out of respect for the medium rather than mockery. Toronto, where the story takes place, portrayed without the need for belittlement. 20-something slackerdom portrayed accurately (I know, I’m living it). Find every rupee you can find (they tend to be hidden in pots and under long grass) and go see this movie as many times as you can afford.

Scoring:

            

Apple’s iPod is responsible for an eight minute delay of a Tokyo train following a self-destructive malfunction.

The rush hour train had to be held up while a mysterious smell was investigated. The culprit turned out to be a woman’s iPod, which apparently “burst apart.”

This amusing Apple blunder follows [...]]]>

Apple’s iPod is responsible for an eight minute delay of a Tokyo train following a self-destructive malfunction.

The rush hour train had to be held up while a mysterious smell was investigated. The culprit turned out to be a woman’s iPod, which apparently “burst apart.”

This amusing Apple blunder follows Steve “Great Dictator” Jobs being convinced to replace first generate iPod Nanos in Japan due to overheating batteries.

[source]

            

About 100 brave protesters marched to Google’s insidious den of betrayal in Mountain View, California a few days ago to demonstrate against the company’s decision to surrender its fight for net neutrality.

The group managed to argue its way into Googleplex and hand off a 300,000 signature strong petition against Google’s [...]]]>

About 100 brave protesters marched to Google’s insidious den of betrayal in Mountain View, California a few days ago to demonstrate against the company’s decision to surrender its fight for net neutrality.

The group managed to argue its way into Googleplex and hand off a 300,000 signature strong petition against Google’s recent increase in evil.

On the wrong side of this controversy, corporately mind-controlled Tea Partiers have applied their significantly better organizational skills in sending a letter to the FCC in favour of deregulation. Chairman of The Virginia Tea Party Patriot Federation claims limiting the role of mega-corporations in influencing what people see and hear on the internet is “an affront to free speech and free markets.”

Sources: Ars Technica, The Hill

            

IGN has put together a list of their top 100 Star Wars characters. You can check it out if you like (Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker took first place), but the real fun is in the video above.

You’ll hear celebs chat with varying levels of competency about who their favourite characters are. [...]]]>

IGN has put together a list of their top 100 Star Wars characters. You can check it out if you like (Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker took first place), but the real fun is in the video above.

You’ll hear celebs chat with varying levels of competency about who their favourite characters are. Most importantly, you can discover that supposed nerd mogul Jerry Bruckheimer, the producer behind the likes of nerd film properties The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, is a fan of “Chewy-Bach.” Huh, must be an Expanded Universe creation.

            

Karen Meredith, a “Gold Star Mom” whose son died in the Iraq war recently went on make-believe-news-channel Fox to complain about EA’s upcoming relaunch of the Medal of Honor series. Apparently, you can play as the Taliban in the game, and that means its time to manufacture a controversy.

The Fox [...]]]>

Karen Meredith, a “Gold Star Mom” whose son died in the Iraq war recently went on make-believe-news-channel Fox to complain about EA’s upcoming relaunch of the Medal of Honor series. Apparently, you can play as the Taliban in the game, and that means its time to manufacture a controversy.

The Fox interviewer was shockingly sane in talking to the woman, pointing out that the game is being sold to and played by adults, and that playing war doesn’t seem all that different from playing cops and robbers. Karen’s response? “War is not a game. Period.” She did go on to excuse WWII games though, as that was a long time ago, and nobody’s dying from that war right now.

I suppose it’s okay to have fantasies about shooting Taliban members, they don’t have mothers, right?

            

Engadget claims to have heard from reliable sources that Sony Ericsson is teaming up with Google to produce a “PSP Go-like smartphone.”

The new device supposedly features a slider that would contain something close to the current PSP Go’s button layout, with the analog nub replaced by a touch pad. Also [...]]]>

Engadget claims to have heard from reliable sources that Sony Ericsson is teaming up with Google to produce a “PSP Go-like smartphone.”

The new device supposedly features a slider that would contain something close to the current PSP Go’s button layout, with the analog nub replaced by a touch pad. Also rumoured to be included are Google’s Android 3.0 OS and system specs that allow for PS1/PSP level graphics. The rumour also contains the claim that God of War and Little Big Planet games are being shown off for the system/phone, and that it will be PlayStation branded.

Although the idea of Sony turning the PSP line into smartphones isn’t surprising, it does seem odd that the company would half-ass the effort so greatly. The rumour doesn’t make it seem like this new PSP would have much to do with existing PSP games or infrastructure. And where’s the dual analog?

[source]

            

George Lucas has just revealed that the complete Star Wars sextology will be coming to Blu-Ray in Fall 2011. The release will feature a pile of extras, including documentaries, retrospectives, interviews, and yes, deleted scenes.

I’m not talking about the extra footage George already crammed into the original trilogy, though that’s [...]]]>

George Lucas has just revealed that the complete Star Wars sextology will be coming to Blu-Ray in Fall 2011. The release will feature a pile of extras, including documentaries, retrospectives, interviews, and yes, deleted scenes.

I’m not talking about the extra footage George already crammed into the original trilogy, though that’s still there. No, I’m talking about actual movie footage previously unseen. That includes a long-lost and much talked about clip from Return of the Jedi in which Luke assembles a new lightsaber and hides it in R2-D2 for later use against Jabba and his cronies. Check out the video above to hear nerds freak out about a few seconds of meaninglessness.

The new footage will not be packed into the already over-burdened films, remaining as extras on the Blu-Rays.

[source]

            

And I don’t mean in the “time is money” sense.

To get around the shady gray market of buying in-game money with real money, makers of the popular MMO EVE Online, CCP, have introduced a way for players to pick up time codes and convert them into in-game items. Those, in [...]]]>

And I don’t mean in the “time is money” sense.

To get around the shady gray market of buying in-game money with real money, makers of the popular MMO EVE Online, CCP, have introduced a way for players to pick up time codes and convert them into in-game items. Those, in turn, can be traded to other players for in-game cash.

At first, the creation of this new market was an innovative fix for a problem that commonly plagues MMOs. That was until CCP decided the time code items could be transported along with all the other items in the game, making them both steal-able, and destroyable.

Last week, two players, slickdog and Viktor Vegas, proved that CCP’s little innovation could turn out to be pretty profitable for the company. They went after a ship carrying $1 295 worth of time codes. Unfortunately for the players, they ended up destroying the items in the process of the looting. That’s $1 295 CCP now gets without providing any kind of service to any players.

[source]

            

I declared last month that June’s NPD numbers “anger up the blood.” My anger then was nothing compared to now.

July’s numbers for US video games sales are out, and they are disheartening indeed. The 360, that’s right, the Microsoft hate machine, was the best selling system of the month. Even [...]]]>

I declared last month that June’s NPD numbers “anger up the blood.” My anger then was nothing compared to now.

July’s numbers for US video games sales are out, and they are disheartening indeed. The 360, that’s right, the Microsoft hate machine, was the best selling system of the month. Even the almighty DS was trumped by the pure marketing evil of the revamped 360.

The software side was even worse. The top two spots on the chart were taken by the 360 and PS3 versions of NCAA Football 11 respectively. Even worse, the super-secret real place seller for the month was that much-talked-about PC game Starcraft II. Activision’s money maching sold 721K units.

My prediction of a surprise Pikmin 3 launch didn’t come true. Here’s a drastically reduced level of optimism for August’s numbers demonstrating only a ray of hope: Nintendo’s back on top.

[source]

            

Mario Paint is 48th on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games. It was released in North America in August of 1992.

More a software application than a game, Mario Paint introduced gamers to the SNES Mouse, which was packed in with the cartridge. The title is a collection of tools [...]]]>

Mario Paint is 48th on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games. It was released in North America in August of 1992.

More a software application than a game, Mario Paint introduced gamers to the SNES Mouse, which was packed in with the cartridge. The title is a collection of tools which users can experiment with to create images, animations, and music. There is no way to complete Mario Paint, and although the features present may seem archaic, they continue to inspire creativity.

Mario Paint‘s most obvious use is as an art program, highly reminiscent of MS Paint. Users can create images using a variety of brushes, textures, and tools. The game even includes nine different erasers, so players can watch their hard work vanish in different ways. Mario Paint allows artists to create stamps, pixel by pixel which can be saved, and used to mark-up images. Also included are a number of drawings which can be coloured in. Animations can also be made out of the images users make.

There is a remarkably robust music program available in the game, which can be used to add sound to the animations users are able to make. The music program maintains popularity with YouTube artists today, who have managed to pump out incredible and complex work in recent years.

The closest thing to a game available in the package is “Coffee Break,” which requires players to quickly swat flies using the accuracy of the SNES mouse. The mini-game consists of three levels which loop, and there is no final conclusion to the game.

Beyond its influence with artists past and present, and the fact that it stands as a precursor to other Nintendo games which seek user creativity like WarioWare DIY, Mario Paint‘s significance lay mainly in the hardware which came packed-in with it, the Super NES Mouse. This device is small and grey, with two purple buttons, and it compliments the Super Nintendo aesthetic well. The peripheral is, of course, a ball mouse, and its buttons do not necessarily stand up well to use over time. It is, however, simple to use, and an interesting experience on such an early console. The Super NES Mouse would go on to be used in games like Doom, Jurassic Park, and SimAnt.

Although Mario Paint won’t hold much appeal to new players, it’s nostalgic presence still inspires creativity today. The included mouse is a must-have collectible, and a worthwhile purchase for those looking to experience the full breadth of what the SNES had to offer.

Check back next week for entry 47 on the Definitive 50 SNES games.

            

This week’s Shameful Humans are Sergey Brin and Lawrence Page, the founders of internet hyper-power Google. American telecom companies would love to decide what is, and is not, transmitted through the internet to their customers. Being allowed to do so would let them do everything from preventing bandwidth heavy P2P services from functioning, [...]]]>

This week’s Shameful Humans are Sergey Brin and Lawrence Page, the founders of internet hyper-power Google. American telecom companies would love to decide what is, and is not, transmitted through the internet to their customers. Being allowed to do so would let them do everything from preventing bandwidth heavy P2P services from functioning, to blocking sites which carry anti-corporate sentiments. Until now, Google was the great holdout, trying to convince the FCC to keep the net neutral. Now, they’ve surrendered.

Google shattered their informal corporate slogan “don’t be evil,” announcing they have struck a compromise with Verizon which would see the wired internet kept neutral, while allowing the burgeoning wireless internet to be controlled by ISPs. The companies issued their compromise as a suggestion to government. If you’re wondering why two companies are coming up with legislation, it’s because the government of the United States is solidly owned by corporate interests, and they pretty much do whatever big business wants them to do.

Provided legislation along these lines is passed, as wireless internet becomes more and more dominant, and as smart phones continue the march toward ubiquity, it seems inevitable that the internet of the future will be free for corporations to control at their will. The scenarios are dystopic at best. Imagine ISPs bragging like cable companies which have worked out deals with big content providers: “we’ve got Google and YouTube!,” “yeah, well we’ve got Bing and Facebook!” And in that scenario, no one, no one, caries any great small and/or independant site you’ve ever loved. For Americans, it would be goodbye blogs, goodbye anti-corporate discourse, and goodbye Shufflingdead.com.

Sergey Brin and Lawrence Page have betrayed the people of the internet, and they are thoroughly shameful.

[source]

            

Overly-popular photo blog TheChive recently posted a series of messages in which an attractive girl proclaimed how awful her boss was, and that she was quitting. The story, according to TheChive, is that she emailed these images to everyone in her former office. Much of the story the girl told via marker [...]]]>

Overly-popular photo blog TheChive recently posted a series of messages in which an attractive girl proclaimed how awful her boss was, and that she was quitting. The story, according to TheChive, is that she emailed these images to everyone in her former office. Much of the story the girl told via marker was that she overheard her boss call her a “HOPA,” which apparently is a dyslexic version of the acronym “HPOA” (hot piece of ass), and now the internet knows her as HOPA girl.

Utterly unsurprisingly, it turns out the HOPA girl is a fake. TheChive hired a model, and posted her images up at 4:30am to see if they could circulate a hoax. The lazy bloggers of the internet quickly did TheChive’s work, and circulated the story all over the damn place. A TheChive writer reports going from 15 000 unique visitors to 440 000 in the first hour of the article’s posting.

[source]

            

A conspiracy has been uncovered revealing that a group of about 100 conservatives actively worked together to influence the stories appearing on link sharing site Digg.com

The so called “Digg Patriots” colluded on a Yahoo Group, in which they organized to Digg down supposedly liberally slanted stories, and the submitted links of [...]]]>

A conspiracy has been uncovered revealing that a group of about 100 conservatives actively worked together to influence the stories appearing on link sharing site Digg.com

The so called “Digg Patriots” colluded on a Yahoo Group, in which they organized to Digg down supposedly liberally slanted stories, and the submitted links of purportedly liberal users of the site. The group includes a number of powerful and long-time Digg users, allowing this seemingly small number of total users to wreak massive manipulation.

The number of stories targeted and buried by this brigade is in the thousands. Topics of (dis)interest for the group include homophobia, racism, science, the environment, and anything critical of the Republican party or its allies.

The Digg Patriots conspiracy also included efforts to game Digg via multiple accounts, and attempts to have certain users banned.

[source]

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-eighth episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

[...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-eighth episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
The Walking Dead trailer stumbles into existence
The line must be drawn here: gamers stand up to would-be robbers
Breasts: giver of life, arbiter of death
Bobby Kotick is like some kind of comic book villain
NBA Jam goes multi-platform, Wii owners officially second-class citizens
Billy Mitchell reclaims Donkey Kong high score
Chris Brown rocks Kirby necklace, Daily Mail rocks ignorance

Other Topics:
Summer ‘10 To-Do List: July
Summer 2010 To-Do List: Weskimo Edition: July
Definitive 50 SNES games: #49 Super Baseball 2020
Shameful Human of the Week: Andrew Keen
The Dungeon: Hardcore vs Casual Gamers
Question of the Week: Console or PC Gaming?

            

Nintendo has famously been trying to appeal to the gorilla demographic for years. With each passing release of a new Donkey Kong title, it seemed less and less likely that the apes would ever come around to video games, but it’s finally happened.

A young boy dropped his DS into the [...]]]>

Nintendo has famously been trying to appeal to the gorilla demographic for years. With each passing release of a new Donkey Kong title, it seemed less and less likely that the apes would ever come around to video games, but it’s finally happened.

A young boy dropped his DS into the gorilla enclosure at the San Fransisco zoo on Friday, and the results are staggering. Two gorillas marveled at the device for some time before trainers could coax it away from them.

Check out Spicuzza’s Photo A Day blog for more pics of this stunning bridging of the human and animal worlds.

            

Blizzard has claimed StarCraft II to be the fastest-selling strategy game of all time after it Reaver-dropped the PC world with 1.5 million copies in the first 48 hours of its release.

Apparently, the Koreans were still too busy playing the original StarCraft to leave their computers to go buy [...]]]>

Blizzard has claimed StarCraft II to be the fastest-selling strategy game of all time after it Reaver-dropped the PC world with 1.5 million copies in the first 48 hours of its release.

Apparently, the Koreans were still too busy playing the original StarCraft to leave their computers to go buy SC2, since sales of 1.5 million might seem like a lot, but SC2 doesn’t measure up when looking at the some of Blizzard’s other releaseS. the World of WarCraft expansion packs Burning Crusade and Wrath of the Lich King sold 2.4 million and 2.7 million respectively in a SINGLE DAY.

Analysts expect to see SC2 sales hit 6.5 million in the 2010 sales year.

[source]

            

As though Bobby Kotick wasn’t already shameful enough. Here’s an entire trio of new atrocities from the Activision CEO and his company.

Bobby tried to underpay his defense attorney, and got sued for it. Kotick was mixed up in a sexual harassment and wrongful termination suit (although, to be fair, he [...]]]>

As though Bobby Kotick wasn’t already shameful enough. Here’s an entire trio of new atrocities from the Activision CEO and his company.

Bobby tried to underpay his defense attorney, and got sued for it. Kotick was mixed up in a sexual harassment and wrongful termination suit (although, to be fair, he didn’t do the sexual harassing). Kotick bounced around attorneys during the case, and ended up trying to underpay one of his defenders, Patricia Glaser, for her services. This story does have a happy ending, Kotick has been order to pay Glaser over $1 million.

That wasn’t the only legal trouble Robert’s been mixed up in lately. His company was also recently defeated in court by a man named Greg Hastings. He’s a paintballer who had worked with Activision to have his brand/persona stuck into some paintball games (yes, those exist). Upon shipping one such game, Activision turned around, and within 24 hours, Hastings reports “they sent me a letter and they said, ‘We feel you’ve abandoned your franchise, and we’re going to commence making games called Greg Hastings Paintball without Greg Hastings.’” Hastings fought and won his case against Activision, stating “A billion-dollar company tried to steal my identity, and I was able to fight and regain my identity.”

On top of all this, comes word that a profoundly anti-creative and focus-testing obsessed environment exists within Activision which filters out new ideas, and female heroes in games. The only games Activision has published with female leads since 2005 have been licensed trash featuring the likes of Dora and Barbie. Gamasutra reports:

Look to that methodology to explain why all of Activision’s flagship properties are male-led, says the source: “If Activision does not see a female lead in the top five games that year, they will not have a female lead,” says the other source. “And the people that don’t want a female lead will look at games like Wet and Bayonetta and use them as ‘statistics’ to ‘prove’ that female leads don’t move mass units.”

            

EA has spent a lot of time and energy building hype for what was supposed to be a Wii exclusive game, NBA Jam. (Remember the catchphrase contest?) But they’ve recently gone ahead and destroyed the good will Wii owners had for the project by deciding to include a sort-of stripped down version [...]]]>

EA has spent a lot of time and energy building hype for what was supposed to be a Wii exclusive game, NBA Jam. (Remember the catchphrase contest?) But they’ve recently gone ahead and destroyed the good will Wii owners had for the project by deciding to include a sort-of stripped down version of the game as a free pack-in with purchases of NBA Elite 11 on PS3 and 360.

I say the 360 and PS3 version is sort-of stripped down, because while it won’t include the single-player modes of the Wii version, it will include online multiplayer, a mode that looks unlikely to show up on Wii.

NBA Jam for Wii doesn’t have a price yet, but this is a retail game, $40 is probably the minimum it will go for. Meanwhile, PS3/360 owners may have to throw away $60 on NBA Elite 11 to get the game, but the perception for consumers is obvious: HD owners get things for free just for belonging to the HD upper class, Wii owners get shit on.

The saga of third parties mishandling Wii projects and disrespecting Wii owners continues.

[source]

            

Infamous villain of the vintage arcade scene Billy Mitchell has taken back his titles of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. world champion.

The mullet man himself racked up 1,062,800 points in Donkey Kong, barely surpassing recent Kong-upstart Hank Chien before quitting the game. When asked why he stopped without running [...]]]>

Infamous villain of the vintage arcade scene Billy Mitchell has taken back his titles of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. world champion.

The mullet man himself racked up 1,062,800 points in Donkey Kong, barely surpassing recent Kong-upstart Hank Chien before quitting the game. When asked why he stopped without running up his score, Mitchell responded: “Some say I’m being cocky. Some say I’m being lazy. I say, I’m being Billy Mitchell.” It’s currently unknown if an American flag fluttered behind Billy and music crescendoed as he made this statement

After achieving his first-place status in Donkey Kong, Mitchell moved on to re-conquer top place in Donkey Kong Jr. as well. The hot sauce entrepreneur says he did all to celebrate the opening of Ottumwa, Iowa’s International Video Game Hall of Fame.

[source]

            

Musician/woman hitter Chris Brown was recently spotted wearing the giant piece of Kirby bling you see to your left. Even from the perspective of someone who regularly wears a Mario hat, his fashion sense seems a little questionable.

The media hasn’t really known what to do with this important surfacing of a [...]]]>

Musician/woman hitter Chris Brown was recently spotted wearing the giant piece of Kirby bling you see to your left. Even from the perspective of someone who regularly wears a Mario hat, his fashion sense seems a little questionable.

The media hasn’t really known what to do with this important surfacing of a Nintendo mascot in mainstream culture. The Daily Mail‘s story on the topic has been edited multiple times, exposing shocking ignorance. They at first described the great inhaler as a “pink cat,” then changed that to a Pokémon, before finally settling on Kirby. Although they still seem to think Kirby is a cat. At least Perez got his name right.

Brown joins the elite club of Nintendo-loving celebrities, which also includes the likes of Eminem, Kevin Federline, and Robin Williams.

            

In the world of the Nerd, you may have come into contact with one of those ‘PC Gamers’. They are typically a reclusive sort, prone to spend long hours hunched over a computer clicking frantically in a desperate attempt to make up for repressed and unresolved sexual issues. These lost souls will [...]]]>

In the world of the Nerd, you may have come into contact with one of those ‘PC Gamers’. They are typically a reclusive sort, prone to spend long hours hunched over a computer clicking frantically in a desperate attempt to make up for repressed and unresolved sexual issues. These lost souls will vehemently claim that any game is better with a mouse and keyboard than a controller, and arrogantly scoff at those who lean more towards a console controller.

So Shufflingdead readers, tell me, who has it right? Should Console Gamers hold up their controllers with righteous zeal, or should they be cowed by the nay-saying hermits of PC Gaming?

            

This week’s Shameful Human is author and professional internet-hater Andrew Keen.

To Andrew Keen, This whole web 2.0 thing, with its YouTubes and swarms of blogs, isn’t the time-wasting bliss you and I perceive it to be. No, it’s actually dangerous, and even Marxist.

You see, as Keen argued in his [...]]]>

This week’s Shameful Human is author and professional internet-hater Andrew Keen.

To Andrew Keen, This whole web 2.0 thing, with its YouTubes and swarms of blogs, isn’t the time-wasting bliss you and I perceive it to be. No, it’s actually dangerous, and even Marxist.

You see, as Keen argued in his 2006 The Weekly Standard essay, the participatory internet “worships the creative amateur: the self-taught filmmaker, the dorm-room musician, the unpublished writer.” Sounds great, right? Sorry, but according to Andrew’s novel The Cult of the Amateur, all of this creative energy is putting hard-working experts out of business. Craigslist robs papers of their personals sections, Wikipedia takes jobs from encyclopedia editors.

Keen has rightly argued that web 2.0 “suggests that everyone — even the most poorly educated and inarticulate amongst us — can and should use digital media to express and realize themselves.” Well, there’s no doubt that a lot of idiots produce a lot of shit on the internet. You’re reading a product of that dangerous phenomenon right now. Having said that, the internet is also a realm (relatively) free of corporate control, a place where true free enterprise can flourish, and a place that gives rise to new small businesses every day. There is nothing less Marxist than that.

Keen himself has participated in many internet start-ups. How he considers himself to be any different than the people making careers out of blogging and vlogging is beyond my comprehension.

            

Has a woman ever given you grief for staring at her breasts? Has a woman ever put on her sweater and run away after catching you taking a peek? It turns out such ladies are terrible people and should feel bad. According to German researchers, spectating cleavage is healthy for men, and [...]]]>

Has a woman ever given you grief for staring at her breasts? Has a woman ever put on her sweater and run away after catching you taking a peek? It turns out such ladies are terrible people and should feel bad. According to German researchers, spectating cleavage is healthy for men, and can extend life expectancy by four or five years.

It seems the excitement of gazing at titties improves blood flow, so much so that a 10-minute stare-down is the equivalent of a 30-minute aerobics session. Next time your girlfriend catches you glancing around, explain that you’re trying to get in shape for her.

As shocking as this may seem, boobies are not all good news. British woman Claire Smedley nearly smothered her lover back in April with her set of 40LL breasts. She initially though her man’s flailing was a sign of his enjoyment, but he ended up blacking out under the suffocatingly massive mams.

Sources: Daily Chilli, The Med Guru

            

The futuristic sports game Super Baseball 2020 takes 49th on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games. It was released for the Neo Geo in 1991, and ported to the SEGA Genesis and Super Nintendo in 1993.

There are two modes in Super Baseball: the 1P League and a head-to-head single-game [...]]]>

The futuristic sports game Super Baseball 2020 takes 49th on the list of Definitive 50 SNES games. It was released for the Neo Geo in 1991, and ported to the SEGA Genesis and Super Nintendo in 1993.

There are two modes in Super Baseball: the 1P League and a head-to-head single-game two player mode. In the 1P League, the player battles through a “season” of 15 games, culminating with a final match against a super-team, not otherwise available for play in the game.

There are two leagues of six teams each to choose from, the Exciting League and the Fighting League. In multiplayer, competitors can only choose teams from the selected league. In single player, the player must battle through all of the opponents in his or her league before moving on to the world series.

Super Baseball takes the standard baseball formula and gives it a unique, streamlined, and more arcade-y feel. Only one stadium is available to be played in, and it is known as Cyber Egg Stadium. The entire crowd is covered by a protective glass wall, and the ball can be batted onto this covering without the play counting as a home run. Due to the super-human capabilities of the sportspersons, only hitting the ball into the furthest back centre portion of Cyber Egg will register as a home run. Additionally, special zones have been added to the play area to increase the chaos. “Stop” zones will immediately hold a ball and prevent it from moving, possibly ruining a player’s chance of getting on base. Below the Home-run zone, there is a “Jump” zone which allows a player to leap far in the air in order to try to catch hard-hit potential home-runs.

As a game progresses, players earn and lose money by performing plays. For example, striking out a player will result in the pitcher’s team earning $1000, while it will subtract $100 from the team of the player who was struck out. This money can then be used to power up various abilities for players. Humans can have their hitting, fielding, and pitching abilities improved. Robots can be upgraded for general stat boosts, depending upon how much the player chooses to spend.

The futuristic theme of Super Baseball bears heavily on the capabilities of the players. In the not-so far-flung future of 2020, robots have been developed capable of competing against, and even beating, human opponents. The incredible batting and jumping powers of the robots in 2020 means that humans have been equipped with technology allowing them to perform the same feats. For example, all the players in 2020 have jet-packs.

Frankly, Super Baseball 2020 is still a joy to play. In my opinion, the simplified gameplay and wacky additions actually ensure its superiority over modern baseball games. The graphics are clean and stylized, ensuring that they hold up well. Super Baseball is a true hidden gem of the 16-bit era, and an entirely worthwhile pick-up, not only for collectors, but anyone looking for some straight-forward fun on the SNES.

Check back next week for entry 48 on the Definitive 50 SNES games.

            

Another month has passed since I wrote up my Summer 2010 to-do list, and it’s now time to look back at what I accomplished in the month of July 2010.

10. figure out lighting for our videos Scattering shop lights around my basement is good enough!

11. buy a microphone [...]]]>

Another month has passed since I wrote up my Summer 2010 to-do list, and it’s now time to look back at what I accomplished in the month of July 2010.

10. figure out lighting for our videos
Scattering shop lights around my basement is good enough!

11. buy a microphone for podcasting
Hell yes I did, and we sound much better for it.

27. see Twilight: Eclipse – know thy enemy!
I regret everything.

46. buy and beat Super Mario Galaxy 2
They blew my mind all over again.

48. replay Donkey Kong Country 3
Really not nearly as good as the first two.

62. demolish all comers in Shufflingdead basketball
I was named MVP one game, so I’m going to go ahead and give this one to myself.

Well there you have it, three-quarters of the summer has passed, and I’ve now completed 16/100 goals. That may not look too promising, but my rate of accomplishing goals has skyrocketed. In May, I accomplished five goals, and in June, I accomplished another five goals. In July, I managed six!

            

My calendar has stated that time has progressed along its projected course and it is now August. Though not really prepared to let go of July, I’m told this is out of my control. That means it’s time to tell you all what I’ve done in July. You can see my full [...]]]>

My calendar has stated that time has progressed along its projected course and it is now August. Though not really prepared to let go of July, I’m told this is out of my control. That means it’s time to tell you all what I’ve done in July. You can see my full summer to-do list here.

28. watch all of Venture Brothers
One of the best shows I’ve ever watched. A must-see for anyone with a sense of humor.

32. finalize decks with card protectors
Multiple Magic decks have been deemed fit for combat and been entered into card protectors.

64. attend Motion Notion
Four days of camping and techno. Holy hell what a good time.

68. make DMUSER’s Birthday exceed previous levels of awesome
Upon reflection of the previous month’s event of DMUSER’s Birthday I found that it did, at the very least, match previous levels of DMUSER’s Birthday awesome. Good show by all involved.

72. pacify the lady friend with a camping trip
Two mana later, the lady friend has been struck by Pacifism.

74. get an additional fence put in
Done.

75. commit mass herbicide, murdering grass and weed alike, in an effort to clear my lawn of hostiles
Round 1 of The Purge complete, looking much better out there. Will need another round to pick up some fugitives, however.

85. buy new music
Bought a few new albums by artists like Against Me and the Gaslight Anthem. Vampire Weekend’s new album was most disappointing though.

I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that some of these goals are total write-offs and now impossible to complete, for example, I missed Boonstock for DMUSER’s Birthday, and will miss the Sonic 1K because of other schedule conflicts as well. Also, replaying Suikoden 1,2, and 5 is probably a combined 90 hours of gaming, which I cannot see myself having the time to power through in the next month. But looking at the accomplishments of the summer, and what I plan to have done for August 31st, the summer is looking pretty successful.

This month put me up 8 more goals, bringing the total to 30/100.

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-seventh episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

[...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-seventh episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
Vuvuzelas invade Middle Earth in “The Fellowship of the Vuvuzela”
Mario and crew turned into flesh eating, wrench-wielding monsters
Why so serious? Joker pleads guilt to arson
Entire world economy conspires against Nintendo
Call of Duty: Black Ops Breaching Handheld Market
Boyfriend respects his girl, sleeps on floor
Chris Tucker owes green… super green

Other Topics:
Definitive 50 SNES games: #50 Stunt Race FX
The Dungeon’s Boss: Q2 2010 update
Don’t Worry Folks… Harry Potter Still Rocks
Since When Is “Sex” A Bad Word?
Question of the Week: Bowser vs. Donkey Kong

            

The Walking Dead is one of the coolest comic series around, and now it’s being turned into a TV series for AMC. A shaky-cam copy of the trailer taken at Comic-Con has landed online, and it’s viewable above.

The plot is simple enough: Rick Grimes was a police officer before the [...]]]>

The Walking Dead is one of the coolest comic series around, and now it’s being turned into a TV series for AMC. A shaky-cam copy of the trailer taken at Comic-Con has landed online, and it’s viewable above.

The plot is simple enough: Rick Grimes was a police officer before the world ended, now he leads a group of survivors struggling to make it against the undead horde. What is not simple, at least in the comic, is the depth of the characters within. It’s a fantastic series, and I can’t wait to see what AMC does with it.

[source]

            

Devin Wolery was watching over the nine customers of his internet gaming cafe one night, when two random encounters wearing masks came in and began harassing him. He went for the panic button, but police would be minutes away. The two then attacked Wolery, punching him twice in the face before his [...]]]>

Devin Wolery was watching over the nine customers of his internet gaming cafe one night, when two random encounters wearing masks came in and began harassing him. He went for the panic button, but police would be minutes away. The two then attacked Wolery, punching him twice in the face before his party members noticed anything. The intruders demanded money from the approaching nerds, who complied. One robber tried to take a man’s DS.

That’s when it was on like Donkey Kong.

In the words of Wolery: “They tried to take his DS, his Nintendo DS and he wasn’t having that — so he came back swinging.” The other gamers became inspired by this heroic act.

The swarm of nerds reached deep within themselves to find the fury instilled by years of bullying. As it is said, “injustice boils in men’s hearts as does steel in its cauldron.” The attackers were overwhelmed by nerd fury. Beaten down, they escaped the store humiliated.

[source]

            

Konami has organized summer tours for the lonely fans of their Love Plus make-believe girlfriend games. For a mere $510 Australian Dollars, otaku get to spend a couple days in a tourist town, visit local stores, collect stamps, and buy yet more Love Plus merchandise.

A Japanese TV network decided to [...]]]>

Konami has organized summer tours for the lonely fans of their Love Plus make-believe girlfriend games. For a mere $510 Australian Dollars, otaku get to spend a couple days in a tourist town, visit local stores, collect stamps, and buy yet more Love Plus merchandise.

A Japanese TV network decided to follow one couple on their holiday, and the results turned out to be even worse than I would have expected. For the deranged man pictured above, his relationship with his pretend woman wasn’t far enough along to properly enjoy the chance for a night in a hotel room alone. He decided to slum it on the floor while Nene got the bed.

When asked about a real girlfriend, this passionate gamer replied “I don’t need one.” Surely such a class act deserves one, though.

[source]

            

Chris Tucker isn’t really in that many movies, but the man sure makes a lot of money. He took $20 million for Rush Hour 2 and $25 million for Rush Hour 3. Well, it seems Chris doesn’t exactly enjoy paying the taxes owed for that kind of income.

The Fifth Element [...]]]>

Chris Tucker isn’t really in that many movies, but the man sure makes a lot of money. He took $20 million for Rush Hour 2 and $25 million for Rush Hour 3. Well, it seems Chris doesn’t exactly enjoy paying the taxes owed for that kind of income.

The Fifth Element star owes the Internal Revenue Service of the United States $11,571,909.26. An accomplishment almost as ballsy as screaming into Bruce Willis’ face for two hours.

The news hits about a year after the State of California came after Tucker for not paying $3,594,409 in state taxes.

Maybe we’ll luck our and get The Sixth Element out of this, but I doubt it. Bring on Rush Hour: Rush Harder and Rush Hour: Race Jokes Drift.

[source]

            

When it’s on the radio, apparently. As a Canadian citizen, I have the ability to enjoy music on the radio. 91.7 The Bounce pipes in the American Top 40 on weekends, hosted by the ever-irritating Ryan Seacrest. One of the recent hits that’s been on the AT40, as well as frequently played on [...]]]>

When it’s on the radio, apparently. As a Canadian citizen, I have the ability to enjoy music on the radio. 91.7 The Bounce pipes in the American Top 40 on weekends, hosted by the ever-irritating Ryan Seacrest. One of the recent hits that’s been on the AT40, as well as frequently played on The Bounce during the week, is Jerimih’s Birthday Sex. It’s a catchy tune, and the phrase “birthday sex” is repeated many times in the song. It is not edited during regular play on The Bounce, but on the AT40, “sex” is replaced by a “shhh”.

I wasn’t aware that sex was a word to be equated with the worst of the worst. It is now one of those words that nobody dares to play during daytime television and anywhere on the radio. It’s among the ranks of fuck, shit, cunt, cock and the like. At least on Canadian stations, they still play hell, damn and sometimes even an ass slips through. And since so many songs give rather graphic descriptions of sexual acts that don’t get censored, and different words for the act are allowed, why is the kibosh being put on “sex”? Especially from a nation that is drenched in sexual imagery, anyway?
Listening to 102.3 Now! Radio, in one of Hedley’s big hits, Cha-Ching, the word “lesbians” is censored. This really boggles my mind. To me, that seems like blatant discrimination.

Maybe it’s just my Canadian liberalism clouding my judgment. After all, Jay-Z’s new song, I Just Wanna Love U, contains the lyrics “gimme that funk, that sweet, that nasty, that gushy stuff”. And it doesn’t take a lot of effort to think of what that is most likely referring to. Yet that line is never censored. For all the sex, drugs and violence that are depicted on TV, condom and male enhancement supplements advertised on the radio, you’d think they’d ease up at least on regular, everyday English words.

            

Over the years, Nintendo has repeatedly set Donkey Kong and Bowser up as rivals and equals. Both race the same in Mario Kart, play the same in Mario Tennis, and are clearly both capable of kidnapping the same princess. Nintendo has pitted these two titans against each other again and again, and [...]]]>

Over the years, Nintendo has repeatedly set Donkey Kong and Bowser up as rivals and equals. Both race the same in Mario Kart, play the same in Mario Tennis, and are clearly both capable of kidnapping the same princess. Nintendo has pitted these two titans against each other again and again, and each time the result is a mirror-image staring match.

So lets throw these two into a no-items, three-stock, winner takes all grudge match in Hyrule Temple and let history decide once and for all. Who Would Win in a Fight Between Bowser and Donkey Kong?

[image source]

            

It seems that Treyarch is not content with Call of Duty’s ability to inspire frustrated rage throughout the gaming industry using home consoles alone, and have announced that the upcoming Call of Duty: Black Ops will available on the Nintendo DS. Black Ops for the DS will feature many of the same [...]]]>

It seems that Treyarch is not content with Call of Duty’s ability to inspire frustrated rage throughout the gaming industry using home consoles alone, and have announced that the upcoming Call of Duty: Black Ops will available on the Nintendo DS. Black Ops for the DS will feature many of the same game modes, including single-player, two-player co-op, and online competition for up to six players. The best part of this being that there are only five assholes killing me, instead of 10 like in the console versions.

Gamers are advised to treat this game like a live grenade. Put some body armor on your sanity for this one.

[source]

            

In the quarter ending June 30, 2010 Nintendo somehow managed to lose $290 million USD. This, despite the company posting ¥188 646 million in sales.

How, exactly, could a company that sells so many systems and games, and crushes its competition month over month, possibly lose money? Well, I have no [...]]]>

In the quarter ending June 30, 2010 Nintendo somehow managed to lose $290 million USD. This, despite the company posting ¥188 646 million in sales.

How, exactly, could a company that sells so many systems and games, and crushes its competition month over month, possibly lose money? Well, I have no idea. Something about unfavourable currency markets making the Yen way too strong compared to the Euro and Dollar. Most of the company’s sales occur overseas, and because of the strong Yen, those sales count for less than they normally would. The company’s profit margins for non-Japanese regions were completely eaten-up.

On the non-infuriating side, the company moved 4 million copies of Super Mario Galaxy 2 for the quarter.

[source]

            

Part I: According to Fanfiction.net, Harry Potter Still Rocks

Guilty secret: I read fan fiction.

Perhaps you’ve never heard of it. Fan fictions, affectionately known as fan fics, are basically self-explanatory. It’s “new” works of fiction written by fans of certain literature. Hence, fan fiction. The stories are based on the characters and [...]]]>

Part I: According to Fanfiction.net,
Harry Potter Still Rocks

Guilty secret: I read fan fiction.

Perhaps you’ve never heard of it. Fan fictions, affectionately known as fan fics, are basically self-explanatory. It’s “new” works of fiction written by fans of certain literature. Hence, fan fiction. The stories are based on the characters and environments in the original work. I liken it to music, where musicians regularly cover each others’ work to create something new and different, but made from the same base. For example, a Harry Potter fan fiction may contain a plot where Lily leaves a letter for Harry to read in the future, confessing that Severus Snape is actually his father, not James Potter. Or a Lord of the Rings fan fiction may revolve around a complicated romance between Legolas and Aragorn. Anything can happen. In fact, some fan fics can get pretty smutty, spelling out the romantic and lusty scenes we all envision between our favourite pairings that never actually get published. Or even acknowledged by the author, depending.

Fan fiction can be found most specifically on the website fanfiction.net, but is available via search engine on all sorts of websites, collective or private. Fanfiction.net stories have been divided into many categories, including books (further divided by book or author), film, television, manga, cartoons, plays and musicals, and video games to name a few. Say you really enjoy watching House MD. Well, in case just watching it once a week doesn’t get you enough House action, you can read one of the over 18,000 stories on fanfiction.net alone.

I am more of a book fan fic reader, considering the original work is text itself. I find it difficult to read about something I regularly watch, play or sing along to. But it never ceases to amaze me how many stories can be spawned from a single work or series. Keep in mind that some fan fics are longer than the original work itself.

The top twenty fan fiction sections in books on fanfiction.net are as follows, as of July 29, 2010*:

20. Vampire Academy - 2,480
19. Silmarillion – 2,635
18. Vampires – 2,879
17. Bible – 2,920
16. Clique – 3,056
15. Inheritance Cycle – 3,856
14. Artemis Fowl - 4,071
13. Fairy Tales - 4,081
12. Animorphs - 4,577
11. The Outsiders – 5,273
10. Chronicles of Narnia – 6,695
9. Gossip Girl - 6,961
8. Percy Jackson and the Olympians – 7,678
7. Song of the Lioness – 8,073
6. Warriors – 8,221
5. Phantom of the Opera – 9,384
4. Maximum Ride – 10,787
3.Lord of the Rings – 43,558
2.Twilight – 156,842
1.Harry Potter – 467,071

So Harry Potter still dominates, as it has for years. But Twilight, thanks to hundreds of thousands of sexually frustrated teenage girls worldwide, is quickly catching up. I had no idea The Outsiders or The Phantom of the Opera were so popular as to garner one of the top twenty spots in books. I mean, they’re great books, but seriously? The one that completely stymies me, of course, is the Bible. Seriously? Who writes a fan fic about the Bible? That’s like writing fan fiction about your history text book.

Part II: Bible Fan Fics – Spiritual Glory or Just Fucked Up?

I checked the Bible fan fics and disappointingly, most of them are poems about God and Jesus and pretty normal stuff like that. But with a bit of searching, I found some synopses that sound rather epic:

The Way of the Lord, by StarXEnoch

“A modern day reimagining of the teenage years of Jesus. Through the eyes of John the Baptist, we will watch the young Messiah as he attends high school, learns about who he is, and begins his ministry.”*

Jesus went to high school?

Lilith by Min Daae

“Lilith/Eve. Temptation is sweet. Like fruit. Sort of dark and weird.”*

Nothing like some Biblical girl-on-girl action.

Jesus and Hitler: A Romance by Angkras

“Adolph Hitler travels back in time and meets a man who will change his life forever.”*

I…don’t even know what to say to that.

Judas: On the betrayal by Zak’s-blood13

“Judas’ take on Jesus’ death and his own actions. Remember, there are other gospels and writings from Jesus’ time that weren’t included in the Bible – this takes after one of those – Judas’ gospel. I don’t own Jesus/Judas/Peter or the ideas behind this.”*

I love the disclaimer. I know a lot of people put “I don’t own Harry Potter!” or whatever in their fan fics, but “I don’t own Jesus”? The Bible officially gets top ranks for most awesome fan fics ever.

*Denotes quotes or statistics taken directly from fanfiction.net.

            

With July almost over, it would seem I am once again long overdue for my quarterly update to my games collection database. That page now reflects my games bought, received, beaten, sold, and given away for the months of April, May, and June of 2010.

It was another remarkably poor quarter [...]]]>

With July almost over, it would seem I am once again long overdue for my quarterly update to my games collection database. That page now reflects my games bought, received, beaten, sold, and given away for the months of April, May, and June of 2010.

It was another remarkably poor quarter for me. I hopped from 71 unbeaten games to 82. Beaten games barely moved, going from 130 to 131. I did manage to complete one additional game, taking that total to 13.

Details after the jump.

April:

bought – F-Zero Legend – April 4
bought, but had already beaten – Super Baseball 2020 – April 17
bought – Mortal Kombat II – April 17
bought – Blades of Steel – April 19
bought – WinBack – April 19
bought – Pokemon Puzzle League – April 19
received – SimAnt – April 24 (thanks sulci!)

May:

bought – Mario Paint – May 10
bought – Pokemon Platinum – May 15
bought – Kirby Superstar Ultra – May 15
bought – Super Mario Galaxy 2 – May 25
bought – Tomb Raider II – May 25

gave away – Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2 – May 11
beat Ace Attorney Investigations – May 12

June:

bought – Personal Trainer walking – June 29
bought – WarioWare DIY – June 29

            

Just days after Darth Vader robs a bank comes word that The Joker has plead guilty to arson. It seems villains the world over have grown tired of the unflattering portrayals they face in films, are breaking into reality for revenge.

The 19 year old Joker (whose alter ego is Christopher [...]]]>

Just days after Darth Vader robs a bank comes word that The Joker has plead guilty to arson. It seems villains the world over have grown tired of the unflattering portrayals they face in films, are breaking into reality for revenge.

The 19 year old Joker (whose alter ego is Christopher Clancy) broke into his former school in Ireland, splashed a gerry can of gasoline down its halls, and lit the place up in May of 2009. The school was closed for five days as a result, and damages came to $1.3 million.

The Joker’s reasoning was as wild and paranoid as ever, he has stated he did it “”Because it is run by hypocrites and I didn’t like the way they treated my friends.”

[source]

            

Welcome to the Definitive 50! In this new series, I will be counting down the top 50 games for each system, one game at a time, one week at a time. Each game gets its own video and write up. For season 1, I will take a look back at my all [...]]]>

Welcome to the Definitive 50! In this new series, I will be counting down the top 50 games for each system, one game at a time, one week at a time. Each game gets its own video and write up. For season 1, I will take a look back at my all time favourite console, the Super Nintendo. Strap in, for the next 50 weeks I will take you on a mystical journey through the best ammunition Nintendo had for the 16-bit console wars.

My criteria for entry in these lists will be based on a number of factors, including general consensus, collectibility, uniqueness, and my own personal taste. At the end of each season, I hope to arrive at a list of 50 games worth owning for that year’s system. Think of this as a top 50 that triples as a retrospective and buyer’s guide for collectors.

Kicking off the Definitive 50 SNES games is Stunt Race FX. This polygonal racer was released in July of 1994, and was the second game to make use of the Super FX chip, following StarFox.

Stunt Race FX includes four modes: Speed Trax, Stunt Trax, Battle Trax, and Free Trax.

Speed Trax can be considered the main mode of the game. Just like the career or story mode present in most racing games, it’s where players compete against the computer in search of first place finishes. Speed Trax features three classes: Novice, Expert, and Master. Each class includes four courses plus a bonus course for a total of 12 standard tracks and three bonus courses. There are two energy gauges to watch: Boost and Damage. Boosting is performed with the Y button, and Damage can be taken by running into obstacles and other vehicles, or just by falling too far. To replenish your Damage gauge, drive into the glowing red polygons. Pick up the blue polygons to replenish your Boost.

Stunt Trax features four courses, less linear than those seen in Speed Trax which the player must navigate while picking up pink and yellow coloured stars. The object is to collect each of the 40 stars available per course, all within strict time limits. Stunt Trax can be especially challenging, but certainly rewarding.

In Battle Trax, up to two players in some combination of humans and computers race for dominance. You’ve still got to have two controllers, even to race against the computer. Start the race off as though you’re going to be playing with another person, then leave the second controller alone. The computer will take over the spot in a few seconds. This mode features four unique courses.

Free Trax is the practice mode of Stunt Race FX. It allows players to freely play the Speed Trax courses without the pressure of time limits and competing cars.

There are four playable vehicles in Stunt Race FX: the coupe, F-Type, 4WD, and the unlockable 2WD. There’s also an awkward-to-drive trailer that’s playable only in the bonus courses.

Visually, Stunt Race FX still fares well. The simple 3D graphics and cartoonish art direction give the game an endearing quality that reminds me of the excitement polygons promised. The wacky looking googly-eyed vehicles, simple gameplay, and memorable sound effects are also fun. Having said that, it would be hard to argue that the game has aged well more generally. The controls feel clunky and unresponsive, and the poor framerate doesn’t help. Still, with some patience, the game is fun, and certainly challenging.

Stunt Race FX clocks in at number 50 on this list of the greatest Super Nintendo games. Check back next week for entry 49.

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-sixth episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

[...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-sixth episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
Another dubious honour for Twilight: Taylor Lautner fan fiction reigns
Steve Jobs transformed into Darth Vader in new NMA animated video
The nerds fight back: Westboro Baptist Church meets counter protest at Comic-Con
Microsoft makes up numbers, pretends Kinect has value
Tron: Legacy trailer: bright lights, big city
Booth babes vs. nerds, the Comic-Con front

Other Topics:
Sonic and the Secret Rings Review
Shameful Human of the Week: Richard Blumenthal
Games in Review #4 – Super Mario RPG
Question of the Week: What Is Your Favorite Nerd Snack?

            

I can’t be the only one who dreams of one day playing a dark, gruesome Mario game (or Mario parody, since that isn’t too likely to happen). It seems like there are always genius internet artists feeding that dream, too.

Through the power of photography, mrksaari over on flickr has realized [...]]]>

I can’t be the only one who dreams of one day playing a dark, gruesome Mario game (or Mario parody, since that isn’t too likely to happen). It seems like there are always genius internet artists feeding that dream, too.

Through the power of photography, mrksaari over on flickr has realized an awesome, violent, and zombified visual style for the Mario gang. Hit the link above to view more from his series, including a close-up of Zomb-Toad that is sure to terrify.

            

Wood-pellet vendor Paul Ceglia claims to own 84% of Facebook, and he might be right.

Facebook CEO and founder Mark Zuckerberg had some business dealings with Ceglia in 2003, and a contract between the two has surfaced which appears to grant Ceglia 50%+ ownership in the now ubiquitous and almighty social [...]]]>

Wood-pellet vendor Paul Ceglia claims to own 84% of Facebook, and he might be right.

Facebook CEO and founder Mark Zuckerberg had some business dealings with Ceglia in 2003, and a contract between the two has surfaced which appears to grant Ceglia 50%+ ownership in the now ubiquitous and almighty social networking site.

The first portion of the contract is not disputed by anyone: back in 2003, Ceglia paid Zuckerberg $1000 for some web development. Tacked onto that contract was an agreement for Ceglia to purchase a 50% share in “The Face Book” that Zuckerberg was working on for another $1000. This share was also to increase over time as compensation if work was late.

Accusations of contract doctoring have surfaced, and it is possible the statute of limitations is up for Ceglia to take this to court. Having said that, former friends of Zuckerberg have been placated with settlements over past disputes regarding the early development of Facebook. Unless the social networkers can get this thing dismissed, Zuck will need to settle, and probably for a very large sum.

[source]

            

Apparently, his stint as Apple CEO wasn’t a well paid position. The dark lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, turned up at a Chase bank in Long Island on Thursday brandishing a gun and demanding cash. This latest outing by the chosen one also demonstrated a change in fashion: instead of a [...]]]>

Apparently, his stint as Apple CEO wasn’t a well paid position. The dark lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, turned up at a Chase bank in Long Island on Thursday brandishing a gun and demanding cash. This latest outing by the chosen one also demonstrated a change in fashion: instead of a black cape, he’s switched to blue, and chucked his plastic-y pants in exchange for something camouflage patterned.

These recent appearances by Lord Vader bring into question his own mortality. Didn’t we see him die at the end of Jedi, and wasn’t his body cremated? Has he come back like some kind of space-opera Voldemort?

It’s not known how many space bucks the dark lord managed to jack.

[source]

            

Check out Jeff Bridges and crew in the latest trailer for Tron: Legacy. The movie is looking fantastic, frankly. The visual style has got me hooked.

With the specter of Comic-Con looming over everything geek this week, Yahoo has put together a great piece on the controversies surrounding booth babes. Nerd conventions are frequently filled with ladies who are paid to dress up (or dress down) and promote the booths which they represent to swarms of sexually starved [...]]]>

With the specter of Comic-Con looming over everything geek this week, Yahoo has put together a great piece on the controversies surrounding booth babes. Nerd conventions are frequently filled with ladies who are paid to dress up (or dress down) and promote the booths which they represent to swarms of sexually starved men.

It’s a practice which has led to the occasional act of sexual harassment, not to mention plenty of awkward conversations. Many men are also made to feel condescended to with the practice. SDCC attendance is now 40% female, which also has some wondering why there aren’t more male booth babes. For more info, check out Gizmodo’s short video documentary below to get a glimpse of the life of a booth babe.

            

Nerds have a stigma attached to them that suggests that they are basement-dwelling Cheeto-scarfers. But I know this is not true for all of us. In the course of a serious Nerd Marathon of accomplishment, you might find yourself gripped by Hunger’s merciless fist. I find nerds to be fairly adaptable, since [...]]]>

Nerds have a stigma attached to them that suggests that they are basement-dwelling Cheeto-scarfers. But I know this is not true for all of us. In the course of a serious Nerd Marathon of accomplishment, you might find yourself gripped by Hunger’s merciless fist. I find nerds to be fairly adaptable, since sometimes your mom just forgets to buy the Cheetos.

So I want to know: What Is Your Go-To Nerd Snack?

            

Welcome back to Games In Review. Today, we’ll be reaching way back into my childhood to the ol’ SNES days and reviewing Super Mario RPG.

Story

The game starts out like any other Mario game: the Princess is missing, and it looks like Bowser is up to his old tricks [...]]]>

Welcome back to Games In Review. Today, we’ll be reaching way back into my childhood to the ol’ SNES days and reviewing Super Mario RPG.

Story

The game starts out like any other Mario game: the Princess is missing, and it looks like Bowser is up to his old tricks again. After a bit of investigating, however, we discover that the true culprit behind all of the goings on is a villain named Smithy, a smith, who has somehow managed to put a stop order on all the wishes in the stars. If he isn’t stopped, nobody’s wishes will ever come true again…

Gameplay

As the title might imply, this is a Mario game, except it’s an RPG. The usual Mario linear world map applies, and each area is free movement until Mario gets into an encounter, followed by a turn-based battle to the death. I’ve gotta say, this game is full of Mario-themed fun. Lots of running, jumping, dodging enemies, and movement based mini-games; it’s a hell of a good time. Mario once again navigates the world with runs and jumps. This game was a refreshing change from the simple Mario platformers more common with the franchise to this point, as Mario was free to move in eight directions.

Mario is joined in combat by four friends: Princess Toadstool, Bowser, and two new characters; Geno and Mallow. Each has varying strengths, weaknesses, spells, etc. What is really different about this game is the Timed Hit functions. Each weapon has a method of timing to it that allows extra damage, what other RPGs usually deem a critical hit. This game allows you to, if you’re paying attention, constantly dump critical hits on your enemies. The spells work the same way after a fashion. You might have to press Y repeatedly, or hold Y to charge depending on the spell, but the game ends up being some button-mashing fun.

Graphics

For a Super Nintendo game, this game has amazing graphics. Well-rendered sprites abound and bounce around the screen and our heroic plumber’s frantic gait takes us past well-rendered environments. No grainy crap for this game.

Sound

Just what you would expect from Mario, the soundtrack is perfectly fitting for the game. It almost seems to fit the mood everywhere. From exploring the Mushroom Kingdom town to battling the Axem Rangers, Super Mario RPG manages to keep it’s sound on track throughout. Sound effects are the usual Nintendo bonks and smashes, but my only complaint is possibly the battle music. I found that it started to get old fairly quickly.

Overall

This game is beautiful, and an absolute treat to play. The story moves along quickly, and the game can be played through in a relatively short amount of time without missing anything important. The characters are fun, and the dialogue is certainly entertaining. And let’s not forget that this game introduced one of the most iconic characters of all time, the infamous Chef Torte. With all of the new-gen games on my shelf, I could easily sit myself down and play through this title again.

Gameplay:
Graphics:
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In what I’ve already decided is the feel good story of the year, Westboro Baptist Church nutters protesting supposedly idol-worshiping attendees of the San Diego Comic-Con were overwhelmed by a counter protest filled with dorks and weirdos.

A pitiful handful of WBCers showed up to promote their ideology of hate, while [...]]]>

In what I’ve already decided is the feel good story of the year, Westboro Baptist Church nutters protesting supposedly idol-worshiping attendees of the San Diego Comic-Con were overwhelmed by a counter protest filled with dorks and weirdos.

A pitiful handful of WBCers showed up to promote their ideology of hate, while a significantly larger crowd on the other side of the street held up signs proclaiming “All Glory to the Hypno-Toad,” “God Hates Jedi,” and “Odin is God,” among other things.

Check out Comics Alliance for a pile of pics.

            

The above images come from inside Microsoft. With the $149.99 price point of the Kinect having been revealed, the company apparently decided it was time to make up some dubious charts combining random products that would make the 360 + Kinect look like a better value than the Wii (and Move).

[...]]]>

The above images come from inside Microsoft. With the $149.99 price point of the Kinect having been revealed, the company apparently decided it was time to make up some dubious charts combining random products that would make the 360 + Kinect look like a better value than the Wii (and Move).

Of course, someone buying the 360 with Kinect bundle for $300 is getting two-player functionality out of the box, so it’s fair enough to include an additional Wiimote and Nunchuk. The Wii’s price would have really started shooting up if they had included the cost of controllers three and four as well. Then again, so would have Kinect’s, seeing as how a person would have to get a second bundle for that.

It’s curious that they included Wii Fit in the package. I don’t think I’ve heard of the Kinect being able to weigh people. It’s also interesting to note that Microsoft neglected to mention the higher price point (generally about $10) that 360 games carry compared to Wii games.

[source]

            

The Supreme Court of the United States is set to rule this October on a California law that would “ban the sale of certain video games to children under the age of 18.” This week’s Shameful Human is a particular supporter of that law, Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal (what is it about [...]]]>

The Supreme Court of the United States is set to rule this October on a California law that would “ban the sale of certain video games to children under the age of 18.” This week’s Shameful Human is a particular supporter of that law, Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal (what is it about Attorneys General and video games?).

Mr. Blumenthal is running for senate, and is behaving like a classic politician taking advantage of the “think of the children” crowd. He’s also displaying some pretty amusing ignorance along the way. To show his support of California’s law, he released a statement to the press in which he hails the law for its ability to prevent children from buying games featuring the “slaughter [of] nude female zombies,” which, as we all know, is a disgusting act, well beyond the relatively tame practice of killing nude male zombies.

Another highlight from Blumenthal: “California’s law doesn’t broadly prohibit minors from buying ‘violent’ games — but a subgenre of games that encourages players to commit graphic acts of homicide, rape, and sadism.” Huh, I’m curious to know what games the Attorney General is referencing. Perhaps its those Japanese rape simulators that are already unavailable in the United States. I’m not entirely certain.

Regardless of what Blumenthal thinks video games encourage, it’s obvious he either doesn’t know, or doesn’t want to know, how the regulation of sales of video games currently works. Just like with movies, an industry which Dick B. points to as a potential example for gaming, the ESRB is voluntary and actively enforced by retailers, to the extent that potential buyers are IDed before they pick up M-rated games.

[source]

            

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-fourth episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

[...]]]>

Listen via iTunes – Download MP3

Welcome to ShufflingdeadCast, the Shufflingdead.com podcast. This is our twenty-fourth episode. You can now subscribe to our podcast via iTunes by clicking the link above. Be sure to give us your feedback and questions at hosts@shufflingdead.com. Hit the jump for the full show notes.

Topics discussed:

News:
Steve Urkel: alleged breast abuser
Prepare for cringe: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice to feature an MtG playing character
Old Spice guy Isaiah Mustafa takes over YouTube
June NPD numbers anger up the blood
Idol-worshiping nerds to be protested at Comic-Con
No charges for Urkel, free to stalk your daughter once more
CEO smackdown, part 4: Jobs vs. the RIM bros.

Other Topics:
A few Nintendo super-fan photos to marvel at
Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver Review
(Obvious) Shameful Human of the Week: Mel Gibson
Neckbeard & Wolfshirt: Jobs’ Superhumans

            

I’m not exactly certain how my source arrived at this conclusion, but somehow, WattPad lists Taylor Lautner as the most written-about real-life person in fan fiction. Yes, a man who many confused youngsters believe can turn into a poorly CGI’d werewolf is the object of more gross, usually sexual, penned fantasies than [...]]]>

I’m not exactly certain how my source arrived at this conclusion, but somehow, WattPad lists Taylor Lautner as the most written-about real-life person in fan fiction. Yes, a man who many confused youngsters believe can turn into a poorly CGI’d werewolf is the object of more gross, usually sexual, penned fantasies than anyone else.

The rest of the list includes Megan Fox, Dakota Fanning, Taylor Swift, Zac Efron, and a bunch of people I’ve never heard of. 5/10. Am I old and out of touch yet? The full list:

1. Taylor Lautner
2. Selena Gomez
3. Chace Crawford
4. Megan Fox
5. Ian Somerhalder
6. Dakota Fanning
7. Ashley Greene
8. Logan Lerman
9. Taylor Swift
10. Zac Efron

[source]

            

You might remember Taiwan’s NMA News, they’re the ones responsible for that spectacular computer-animated Conan vs. Leno “explanation” video in which the late night hosts turn into super heroes and battle one another. Well, NMA is back, and this time they’ve decided to tell Steve Jobs’ iPhone 4 debacle through Star Wars [...]]]>

You might remember Taiwan’s NMA News, they’re the ones responsible for that spectacular computer-animated Conan vs. Leno “explanation” video in which the late night hosts turn into super heroes and battle one another. Well, NMA is back, and this time they’ve decided to tell Steve Jobs’ iPhone 4 debacle through Star Wars mythology.

Watch as Jobs steals the dark force powers of Bill Gates/Darth Vader, takes up Vader’s helmet, and savages consumers as only a megalomaniacal dark lord can.