The Nerd Olympics 2008
Day 0
In preparation for Nerd Olympics, a great deal of set-up was required. The day prior to the start of Nerd Olympics 2008, Doug and Weskimo worked laboriously.
Day 1
The first day of Nerd Olympics was many things, but event filled, it was not. A marathon of Link to the Past was one of the many distractions.
Somehow, Warhammer 40k champions were found, they came to be Brentor with Gold, DMUSER with Silver, and David with Bronze.
Unreal Tournament ended with Jon in first, Limey in second, and DMUSER in third.
Starcraft was an intense event.
Contestants seethed with pure fury.
Ultimately, Brentor won, Nicholas Picholas came in second, and Heather got the Bronze.
Settlers of Catan was a widely contested event.
The champion was Wylliecoyote, Drew came in second, and Lyndsey in third.
Homoerotic wrestling was not an official event at Nerd Olympics, but it was practiced anyway.
And with great merriment. Here, Brad gives the Luigi pose.
Day 2
Day 2 was an epic gauntlet of gaming. Our first event was Smash Bros. Melee, in which Vanessa came in first, Heather second, and Nicholas Picholas third. The Gold-Silver finish for women was a first in Nerd Olympics history.
Tetris was an extremely close and exciting event for the most part. This match between DMUSER and Jon was not.
DMUSER being the winner of that match, as well as Tetris altogether. Drew got the Silver, and Limey the Bronze.
Lindsay actually made a Nerd Olympics cake for us, written upon it the immortal words of Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try!” The motto for this, the fourth Nerd Olympiad.
The Mario Sports Triathlon ended with Trebek and Blair in first, a disappointing second for myself and DMUSER, and third for David and Heather.
The Guitar Hero III event was hard fought. DMUSER and Weskimo found out that they were actually rocking too hard.
In a disgusting display of skill at Guitar Hero III, Nicholas Picholas got the Gold (thanks to what was either a 762, 752, or 784 note streak). Trebek came in second and Weskimo third.
Weskimo was champion in Halo 3, Jon got the Silver, and Limey, the Bronze.
A new event this year, Nerd Trivia went very well thanks to some semi-researched questions by Wylliecoyote. My team, which included Jon and David got the Gold, Limey, Nicholas Picholas, and Leigh got Silver, and Kyla, Merrin, and DMUSER got Bronze.
For Duck Hunt, Nicholas Picholas came in first, Limey second, and Brentor third.
Despite my deck’s fury, ultimately James came in first in Magic, David second, and Doug third.
Finale
Here are the final results for Nerd Olympics 2008.
Overall, Nicholas Picholas finished first (as usual), DMUSER second, and Limey and Jon tied for third place.
As is tradition, following the ceremonies, a series of special awards were handed out to honour those who found their own means of achieving greatness during the Olympics.
-Bullshit/Upset Award – Brentor for his Dawn of War performance.
-Worst/Best Drunken Showing – DMUSER for wild anti-Semitic remarks made towards Weskimo.
-Best Drunken Attack – Weskimo for his retaliation against DMUSER.
-Most Epic Act – Nicholas Picholas’ astounding 762 (or whatever it was) note streak in Guitar Hero III.
-Best Food Input – Lindsay for making a Nerd Olympics inspired cake!
-Thanks For Comin’ Out Award – Hide.
-Hottest Attendee – Ian the Limey.
-Worst Nerd Sweat – also Ian the Limey, in the words of Brentor “he almost glistens.”
-Most Drawn out Match – Nicholas Picholas vs. Newbs in Starcraft.
-Bill Award – split between Bill and Clare.
-Biggest Jackass – Wylliecoyote for, in Weskimo’s words, “Nerd Trivia suck.” Honourable mention going to Limey, for, according to Brentor, “his whole life.”
-Most Pathetic Drinking – Newbs.
-Most Bitter Player – Brentor, for his anger towards Halo 3.
-Out of Fucking Nowhere Award – Heather.
-Serious Kudos – Gary for coming despite a four hour drive, with honourable mention to Doug and Merrin for a similar drive.
Despite the anger present on these faces, Nerd Olympics 2008 was a great event.
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