Cock Wars 2009: A New Penis FAQ

What is Cock Wars?
Cock Wars is the ultimate battle for supremacy in the universe. Competitors use their strength of dong to claim superiority over others.

How does it work?
I will post the polls in the Cock Wars 2009 forum, you vote for who you think is the most awesome in each, the winner moves on to the next round. Polls will run for a full week, and, until the final, four will be posted at a time.

How do I vote?
You must register a forums account to vote. Since the polls are also forums threads, you can post promotional items, and bitch merrily as the polls run. I personally accept and decline all new registrants to the forums, so I’ll know if you’re trying to cheat by registering extra accounts.

Who is eligible for Cock Wars 2009?
Basically any real person or fictional character or organization ever is a viable contestant. Historical figures, real or fake company mascots, movie characters, comic book characters, book characters, TV show hosts, video game characters, etc. Anybody you can think of! No repeats from Cock Wars 2006, 2007, or 2008 are allowed.

The full bracket will be viewable here.

How many contestants will there be?
64 contestants, with four entrants per poll.

How long will it last?
Less than two months!

When does it start?
The first four polls will open Monday, March 16, 2009. Those polls will be closed the following Monday, when four new polls will open.

Will I hate you, this website, and humanity when this is all over?
The hatred over Cock Wars has subsided in recent years.

You used to do character descriptions, what happened?
I stopped writing those because it was driving me insane. I’m considering bringing it back, but only if I can get some help with the writing, more info here.