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Shameful Human of the Week: Constantine Hantzopoulos

January 4, 2010 Shameful Human 1 Comment

The Shameful Human this week is Constantine Hantzopoulos, definitely not pictured to the right. You try finding reasonably large pictures of video game industry personnel. He’s a studio director at SEGA, and another industry insider taking up arms against the guiltless Wii.

Hantzopoulos recently spoke to the Wii hating gang over at 1UP.com, on their 4 Guys 1UP podcast, where he spewed your typical ignorant Wii hater’s spew.

But that begets the question, are we going to do more mature titles for the Wii? And it’s like, probably not. Look at Dead Space. We were stunned. That was my litmus test. Basically, it’s like, okay, you got EA, who can put all the marketing muscle behind this, an established franchise that scored quite well on 360 and PS3. They should be able to actually hit this out of the park, right? We get numbers, real numbers aside from NPD, and I’m like, ‘Woah.’

‘Woah’ is right. Maybe this guy really is Keanu Reeves. Before forming this ridiculous opinion, Hantzopoulos should have considered the facts: EA didn’t do shit to market Dead Space Extraction, the first Dead Space game did not sell very well, the first Dead Space game was not on Wii and is therefore not established on that system.

How about this, Mr. Hantzopoulos, try putting some effort into both the development and marketing of a so called “mature” Wii game, the kind of effort you in the industry love to throw at the PS3 and 360 all the time, and then tell me whether or not you want to make any more such games for the system. People like you appear to be a bunch of bigots desperately trying to justify your ignorant hate for a successful Nintendo console. The 16-bit wars were a long time ago, let it go.

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Shameful Human of the Week: Roissy in DC

December 28, 2009 Shameful Human 23 Comments

We’re through the looking glass here people; I’ve discovered the mega-douche. The Shameful Human of the week is a man who goes by the name Roissy. He runs a blog call “Roissy in DC,” in which he discusses picking up women by controlling and manipulating them. For Roissy, a woman is not a person, but rather a game to be solved like a Rubik’s Cube.

Let us take a moment to marvel at some of Roissy’s more spectacular pieces of advice, taken from his Sixteen Commandments Of Poon.

[Women] in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out.

Here, Roissy assumes that all women are the same and that they are inherently inferior to men. So far he just sounds typically sexist.

If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man.

Okay, now he’s starting to sound fairly crazy. I don’t suppose he’s conducted in depth studies of women, including those damn uppity feminists, and arrived at this conclusion through anything other than furious contempt for those who would dare consider themselves equals to his glowing majesty.

Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Roissy sees men’s behaviour as existing in two categories: alpha and beta. Alpha-hood is the realm of being a cocky jerk. Beta-ness is acting kindly, having compassion, talking with lady friends as equals, doing nice things, that sort of ghastly thing. Despite having this obsession with superiority, dominance, and control, Roissy maintains a seething persecution complex, as witnessed in his insistence that cheating is worse than rape.

Fuck you, Roissy, fuck you.

Shameful Human of the Week: Ron Livingston

December 21, 2009 Shameful Human No Comments

Ron Livingston has become a hero to millions for his portrayal of Peter Gibbons, the lethargic lead character in Office Space. Now, Livingston is attacking the nerdy core of his following with a lawsuit filed against a Wikipedia editor who altered his entry to read that he is gay. Livingston is also targeting a Facebook prankster, presumed to be the same person, who operated a fake profile of the actor.

Under the Communications Decency Act, Livingston is unable to target Facebook and Wikipedia directly, but can go after the “John Doe” who so hilariously used their services, and may be able to subpoena the sites to reveal the real perpetrator.

Mr. Livingston’s lawsuit claims the prankster responsible to have performed “despicable acts.” Hey Peter, what’s happening? Would it really be so bad if you were gay? This lawsuit is proof that Livingston possesses a discriminatory belief that there is something wrong with being gay. It also makes it quite evident that the actor is incapable of taking a joke, even a very well made one.

A Wikipedia prankster once claimed I was a “World Champion Video Game Player,” and I took it in stride. I wish Livingston could do the same.

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Shameful Human of the Week: Tony Hawk

December 14, 2009 Shameful Human No Comments

Tony Hawk is a seriously famous dude, but it’s a sort of fame that’s come about in an odd way. Alright, he is a professional skateboarder, and in 1999 he did a 900 degree spin, but it’s not really those things that made him a household name. No, Tony is one of those cultural icons, like Lara Croft, that grew out of the success of the PlayStation. Sure, those original Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater games came out on the N64 as well, but they were really for those PS1 playing jerks.

Tony’s game franchise hasn’t been able to keep up with today’s gaming trends. His newest game, Tony Hawk: Ride has received negative reviews, and the general consensus is that its plastic board accessory is flawed. Finally, the rest of the world understands what I’ve known all along: Tony Hawk games are terrible and the only people who like them are biased PlayStation promoters.

Now, The Hawk is getting angry, recently stating of gamers “I think that they’re just not giving it a fair shake. And I think a lot of them came into it with an attitude that it’s going to suck.”

Well, Anthony, I think you’re completely wrong! Gamers would never give an unfair shake to something they had paid $120 for! Instead, we would save our money and bitch about the game on message boards having given the game no shake whatsoever! Not unlike myself, having never played your other games!

Yeah, I know, he’s actually a pretty nice guy.

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Shameful Human of the Week: Erik Estavillo

December 7, 2009 Shameful Human 1 Comment

Erik Estavillo, figuratively pictured to the right, but not literally, is this week’s Shameful Human, although that title isn’t completely accurate. Erik is simultaneously shameful and awesome, and I feel kind of bad for calling someone so amusing “shameful.” Estavillo has no friends, no job, and nothing better to do than to sue game companies for hurting him in various ways.

This renegade plaintiff is suing Nintendo for preventing homebrew on the Wii, Sony for banning his online access on the PS3, Microsoft for the red-ring of death, and Activision-Blizzard for making characters in World of Warcraft run too slowly.

Estavillo revealed to Joystiq that “I told this other interviewer and it’s true — I actually have no friends. If anyone wants to test that, they can check my phone records — cell phone or home phone — and find out that I don’t call anyone and no one calls me. I rely on online gameplay for socialization. It’s why he has the time to launch his many lawsuits, and why it hurts him so bad to get banned from PSN. Without the ability to play online, Estavillo is unable to get any social interaction.

To help support his cases, Estavillo has subpoenaed celebrities rather than experts. This includes Wynona Ryder, for her deep knowlede of alienation stemming from her reading of Catcher in the Rye. In so doing, Estavillo seeks to bring greater awareness to the harmful effects of gaming.

Good luck Erik.

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