This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I Try Another Sketchy Video Converter?” Pro-Con List, which I asked myself about fifty times today while trying to convert .m2ts files into something useful like .mov.

Pros:

• If it works, I’ll be able to update.
• If I update, I will rapidly develop a career as an internet celebrity.

Cons:

• Spyware is inevitable.
• A virus is inevitable.
• It’s not going to work, it’ll just waste more of my time.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I Listen to this Podcast?” Pro-Con List, which I consider before starting the next podcast on my iPod, and then going ahead and listening to it anyway.

Pros:

• I won’t have anything to occupy my mind with otherwise.
• This one might be intelligent.

Cons:

• Is there a level of humour less mature than sophomoric? Because I’m pretty sure this will feature it.
• There is a high chance that they will wander off topic and talk about absolutely nothing for 20 minutes.
• Even the small chance that this will be a “live” show makes its value questionable.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I Stare at this Used Games Rack Any Longer?” Pro-Con List, which I ask myself every time I visit an EB or video store.

Pros:

• The bargain of the century awaits.
• My knowledge of used games prices will continue to expand, I will be able to save an ever expanding amount of money.
• If I stare long enough, a crate of mint Chrono Triggers is bound to show up.

Cons:

• There is no actual money to be saved, spending less still implies that I spent more than nothing.
• I could be looking at movies instead.
• Nobody seems to do buy-2-get-1-free anymore, so there’s no point.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Life” Pro-Con List, which I am currently considering as I become busier.

Pros:

• Sleep, when you can get it.
• That moment when you realize you just got a platinum medal in a game, and you’re still not done racking up points.
• Titties.

Cons:

• Tiredness.
• The dull roar of tooth-grinding stress.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I ‘Catch ‘em All’?” Pro-Con List, which I am currently considering since becoming addicted to Pokémon Gold.

Pros:

• Surely, such a feat would further cement my title of videogame ninja.
• What the hell else am I doing with my time?

Cons:

• That’s such a poorly defined goal. Catch all the Pokémon in what, Red and Blue? Gold and Silver? One of the newer games? All the Pokémon in all the games, even the ones I don’t have?
• Aren’t there 493 of them now?
• There are probably others things I could be doing with my time.

This week’s pro-con list is Nintendo’s “Should We Replace Newbs’ Copy of Pokémon Gold?” Pro-Con List, which they had to consider after I sent them a scathing email.

Pros:

• He would be so happy, he might give us even more money.
• Would avoid us dishonouring ourselves.

Cons:

• It would cost us money.
• It would cost us a lot of money. Pokémon Gold/Silver sold 15 million copies, and replacing one copy would set a dangerous precedent.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I Twitter this?” Pro-Con List, which I consider every day when I force myself to make my daily Twitter post.

Pros:

• I will be relieved of the pressure of not having said anything today.
• My fame as a Twitter legend awaits.
• One day, this thought will be vital information for the person writing my biography (since my fame is imminent).

Cons:

• This is stupid.

This week’s pro-con list is a female cosplayer’s “Should I cosplay this weekend?” Pro-Con List, which I’m sure she must take under constant consideration.

Pros:

• I might meet a handsome webmaster.
• I might be put into a video by a handsome webmaster and become world famous.

Cons:

• I will be accosted by horrible monsters.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I get a job?” Pro-Con List, which I consider nightly.

Pros:

• Money.
• Power.
• Respect.

Cons:

• Death.
• Taxes.

This week’s pro-con list is my “Should I Buy this Sega Genesis and Nine Games?” Pro-Con List, which I ran through at a garage sale recently.

Pros:

• I’ll be able to do that thing on the internet where you say “I’m not a fanboy, I own consoles from multiple companies!”
• It’s only $15.
• Sega does what Nintendon’t.
• Blast processing!

Cons:

• I’m never going to play all these terrible Looney Tunes games, and they’re just going to make my backlog bigger.
• I don’t even like Sonic.
• I’m a compulsive game horder and this is just further evidence of my disease.

This week’s pro-con list is Sony’s “Should We Change the Ico Box Art for the US?” Pro-Con List, which I imagine a committee of chimps worked through while coming up with a marketing plan for the game.

Pros:

• Our research shows people really love characters wearing bull horns, we need to show that feature off.
• People might not recognize that this is a quote-unquote video game unless we show a blatantly rendered character on the box.
• The target market associates artsy with gay, they also associate gay with bad. Let’s make it as ugly as possible.

Cons:

• We’ll lose all respect from anyone with a sense for good art.

This week’s pro-con list is Samus Aran’s “Should I take this Portal to Dark Aether?” Pro-Con List, which I imagine she worked through during the events of Metroid Prime 2.

Pros

• It’s where the hint system is telling me to go.
• I might get the Screw Attack.
• It will help out poor old U-Mos.
• If I find all of the items there, I’ll be much more likely to take my clothes off for some reason.
• I love me some blurry purple shit.

Cons

• The dark muddiness of Dark Aether will inevitably cause me to become completely lost.
• I’ll probably end up walking into a corner for several seconds without noticing it because the walls look no different than the open hallways.

Pros

• blah, blah blah blah blah, blah
• blah blah
• blah blah blah blah blah
• blah

Cons

• blah!
• blah blah blah blah blah
• blah blah blah
• blah?

Pros

• I won’t feel guilty afterwards
• what else am I supposed to do tonight?
• good chance my readership will commit mass suicide if I don’t, having become fully dependant on my updates

Cons

• I pretty much feel like curling up into a ball and dying because that’s what taking a nap at 7:30pm does to you
• well, I guess I could be learning Latin instead

Pros

• I’ve never done it before
• my honour as a Zelda fanatic is tarnished without this accomplishment
• just think how easy it’ll be to defeat Ganon with all those hearts

Cons

• there are 100 gold Skulltulas, 100!
• my honour as a human being would be tarnished with this accomplishment
• seriously, I’m pretty sure there’s more to life
• there… is more to life than this, right?
• I’ll never be able to beat that runner, and it will likely eat away at me even more, so much so that I will wither and die

Pros

• I won’t feel horribly guilty

Cons

• could cut into my DS9 time
• could cut into my stupid internet video time
• the extra finger exercise may cause slight fatigue
• fuck it, that’s enough work already, I’m done writing

Pros

• stop Tom Paris from spreading space AIDS to all these Delta quadrant alien sluts
• get back to my boyfriend, though I suspect the writers will forget he exists by the last season
• replace my conveniently killed doctor
• ditch these Maquis bastards, last night Chakotay tried drawing some hippie bullshit on my forehead
• forcefully “study” Seven of Nine in a laboratory
• I’ll get to be an admiral
• explaining how I used a tertiary tachyon beam to create an adjunct wormhole in the unimatrix warp nacelle of some Borg nanoprobes to get us home will land me some sweet screen time

Cons

• somebody might promote Harry Kim
• I might accidentally disturb some inert gas sitting between the ship and the convenient route home, thus ruining the potential habitat of some yet to exist organism

Pros

• breaking through walls is fun
• not getting fired
• would help out my profit sharing
• allows chance to bang the dumb kid’s hot moms
• I can’t let The King get all the chicks
• I’ll be able to make my child support payments this week
• I need roofie money for the hot moms next week

Cons

• I’m made of probably 90% Kool-Aid, if sugar-crazed, snot-nosed kids drink too much Kool-Aid, I will perish
• if I say that goddamn catch phrase one more time I will be likely to take out my hatred of mankind on the kids

• I already know it would be scary because I had a dream about it and it was awesome
• would be a hell of a lot better than that vile script for JP4 that’s circulated the internet
• might redeem Jurassic Park 2 and 3 by having all the bad characters attacked by zombie dinosaurs and subsequently becoming zombies themselves
• zombie dinosaurs? come on, that’s fucking awesome
• Jurassic Park already has the perfect zombie motif, run down science labs and bunkers are just about the coolest fucking things in the world
• John Hammond and Ian Malcolm are galactic pimps

Cons

• there are no cons, this has to happen

Pros

• extend my impressive list of skills to enhance my attractiveness to the ladies
• expanded mobility would be convenient
• could rent movies on a whim
• could get to the mall in decent time for video game buying

Cons

• could be seen as a sign of weakness, giving into the collective “man”
• expanded mobility could cause me to spend more money, thus supporting the corporate machine which forces me to work for a living
• spending more money means I will have to work more

Pros

• could meet some rich guy to pound my ass
• Paris, my heterosexual life mate, will be there
• stay close enough to Dean to ruin his life
• bring great joy to my grandparents, thus spiting my speed addicted mother
• keep me close enough to the other characters that they don’t have to cancel the show

Cons

• would extend the series so long that the writers could run out of ideas, resulting in Lane getting married and Luke getting a kid