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Planet of the Week: Jupiter

August 21, 2006 Planet No Comments

The planet of the week is Jupiter. Above, Jupiter can be seen smashing that pussy Neptune. You may also note that Jupiter is seen here with its Great Red Spot, planetary ring, and four Galilean moons. I have no idea if all of these things go around the planet at the same angle or direction, but I took the artistic root.

Jupiter is well known for being the largest planet in the Solar System. Sadly, it would not last long in a fight against most stars or even against some planets discovered in other Solar systems.

Planet of the Week: Mars

August 14, 2006 Planet No Comments

The planet of the week is Mars, seen here being molested by “Ares IV.” Ares IV is a fictional spacecraft piloted by Jackie Chiles from Seinfeld in the episode of Voyager called “One Small Step.”

Mars is the fourth planet from the sun, significantly smaller than Earth, pretty damn red in colour, and the central planet in a lot of terrible science fiction.

Planet of the Week: Earth

August 7, 2006 Planet No Comments

The inaugural Planet of the Week is Earth. In this image it can be seen devouring the smaller planet, Mars. This image may also symbolize the way in which I hope humans one day terraform and colonize Mars, then devour its resources.

Earth is my home planet. It contains the only known life in the universe, not to mention the only “intelligent” life known to exist. From the planet Earth springs humanity, a bipedal species bent on fucking with everybody else’s shit. Humanity is widely blamed for inhibiting me from getting laid.

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