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Interneter of the Week: Philip DeFranco

February 13, 2010 Interneter No Comments

Last week’s Interneter was LisaNova, a YouTube celebrity who parlayed her early start in vlogging into a successful internet career, far surpassing anything I’ve ever done. This week’s Interneter is her buddy and compatriot in being better than me, Philip DeFranco.

Philly D’s path to wealth and stardom kicked off in 2006 with the birth of his first YouTube channel, sxephil. I’ve never understood that name, is he straight edge or something? Well anyway, he quickly started churning out celebrity-gossip and stupid-news rant videos, and has now amassed over 900 000 subscribers. Phil has used the success of that channel to branch out into additional channels, including joining and then leaving that “TheStation” thing all the cool kids on YouTube are or were a part of.

DeFranco’s power knows no bounds, he now brags that his internet income exceeds $250 000 a year, and was voted Wired’s Sexiest Geek of 2008 by his loyal minions. I was a regular viewer of his show for awhile, but got sick of his shtick about the time he snuck in a little “blame the victim” commentary during the Rihanna-Chris Brown fiasco.

Philip DeFranco, Shufflingdead salutes you for filling us with hateful jealousy.

Interneter of the Week: LisaNova

February 6, 2010 Interneter No Comments

This week’s Interneter is YouTube superstar Lisa “LisaNova” Donovan. She came to prominence in the early days of YouTube when all you had to do was exhibit the smallest modicum of talent to become a giant internet celebrity. Shufflingdead actually began on YouTube about the same time as LisaNova, but lacked effort, talent, and passion. She’s parlayed that lucky start using her incredible promotional talents into a wildly successful career which spans both internet and real life stardom.

The LisaNova channel on YouTube has nearly 400 000 subscribers, and features mildly amusing clips of Lisa parodying celebrities like Sarah Palin and Keira Knightley, and performing skits featuring original characters like “Affirmation Girl.” She also participates in videos on other YouTube channels like TheStation, which increases her visibility and what I imagine to be sprawling personal wealth. The various participants of TheStation channel form a core of YouTube celebrities who like to think they are cool and judge others for their coolness, preventing those who are independent, and thus most cool, from ever achieving success and popularity.

Lisa has garnered such great attention that she even managed a short stint on MADtv but quickly disappeared from the show after four appearances. It’s still more than I’ve managed to achieve in my woeful internet life.

LisaNova, Shufflingdead salutes you for giving us something to be jealous and spiteful of.

Interneter of the Week: Matt Casamassina

January 30, 2010 Interneter 2 Comments

The Interneter of the Week is Matt Casamassina. He’s the former Editor-in-Chief of the Nintendo channel over at IGN.com, who recently betrayed Nintendo and switched over to being “Editor-at-Large” for the site.

Ass-amassina started out as editor of N64.com in 1997, which quickly became the N64 section of IGN. Back then, Matt had a passionate love for Nintendo, the kind of love the company deserves, and he maintained those feelings for many years. His ties to the company grew strong indeed, and culminated with his face winding up on a character in Perfect Dark. He also stalked (now former) Nintendo Vice President of Marketing and Corporate Affairs Perrin Kaplan, and developed a bizarre, slightly sexual, relationship with the woman.

As the years wore on, and friendly faces like Kaplan left the company, Matt began to feel his love for Nintendo wane. Despite the masses continually mocking the absence of games present on the N64 and GameCube, their words only got to him with their attacks on the Wii. Matt was converted to the angry masculinity of HD consoles and became Editor at Large for IGN in 2009.

Before he went crazy, I regarded Matt as one of my writing heroes. He was someone who turned writing for a fansite into a career, invented fun characters like Ed the rumour mongering Janitor, and always maintained his Nintendo cred.

Matt Casamassina, Shufflingdead salutes you for occasionally making the internet a more inspiring place.

Interneter of the Week: Ulillillia

January 23, 2010 Interneter 1 Comment

The Interneter of the Week is Ulillillia, the man with the greatest handle in the history of the internet. Aside from inventing a screen name which I am forced to pronounce as an ululation, Ulillillia has created a vast internet empire spanning a highly successful YouTube channel, and an obsessively compiled personal website.

I first discovered the work of this master gamer when I was linked to his video “5 secrets of level 2 in Bubsy 3D.” Here, we see Ulillillia demonstrate five secrets he’s found in the course of playing a single level of Bubsy 3D for, get this, nearly 500 hours. And it’s not even a good game! I recommend exploring all of Ulillillia’s videos, they can be highly educational and quite interesting if you’re into, for example, hearing about how to power level in Final Fantasy VII.

Ulillillia’s gaming obsession has not been entirely positive; the addiction gave him a number of childhood fears. For example, the red and yellow “lava” of Metroid gave him a fear ketchup and mustard bottles. The frequently dangerous blue water of early video games also led him to fear, well, blue water.

Despite those examples of Ulillillia’s imagination getting the best of him, it should be remembered that it is that imagination which also brings us treasures like the man’s latest endeavour, a novel entitled The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters. Here, Nick “Ulillillia” Smith tells the tale of the wizard Knuckles and his quest to stop an evil force from capturing the elemental masters.

Ulillillia, Shufflingdead salutes you for making the internet a more fun and obsessively ordered place.

Interneter of the Week: Christian Weston Chandler

January 15, 2010 Interneter 1 Comment

Meet Chris-Chan, the inaugural Interneter of the Week. He’s an established internet celebrity, known for a broad range of depressingly aspie endeavors, including his Sonic-Pikachu crossover character “Sonichu,” his YouTube videos in which he confesses to drinking his own ejaculate, and his many self-produced solo “adult” films.

Christian Weston Chandler is a well known furry artist, producing many erotic works revolving around the Rosechu character of his Sonichu universe (available for viewing after the jump). Despite being 27 and having the sort of time a single, unemployed, parent’s-home-living person has, his quality of drawing is at a level which would be expected of a grade schooler.

CWC has been kind enough to grace the world with intimate insights into his own sexuality. This includes confessing to gargling down his own cum for the sake of preserving his own reproductive potency. He’s also given us numerous erotic films, including him masturbating and violently savaging a blow-up doll.

Chris-Chan, Shufflingdead salutes you for making the internet a more disgusting and depressing place.

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