Welcome to the Cock Wars 2010 Delta Quadrant contestant descriptions. The polls for this mighty competition of poll are now open, and your input can be input right here. For more on this important piece of pop culture cluster-fuckery, see the FAQ, and check out the battle bracket.
Jason Bourne – description by Weskimo
Super soldier, super spy, and government-owned and operated assassin, Jason Bourne is one of the world’s most dangerous men. With aliases around the world, he can move and blend anywhere, anytime. He is highly trained in combat, be it hand-to-hand, firearms, or even explosives. After shaking off his government assassin conditioning, he was hunted savagely by the organization he used to work for unquestioningly. But despite all of their resources and several more “assets” like Bourne, they couldn’t take him out, he left them all in the dust, bashing their heads against the wall in frustration. Through masterful evasion, surveillance, combat, and a few intense car chases, Bourne defeated entire government agencies, and still had time to stop and pick up the girl on the way.
Special moves: Handing out beatdowns with choppy camera angles.
… Continue Reading