Home » Newbs » Recent Articles:

Summer ’09 To-Do List: Week 2

May 27, 2009 Newbs 1 Comment

Two weeks have now gone by since I posted my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Time for a progress report!

Currently Pursuing:
7. wake up so early that I can run with impunity
11. get in good enough shape to fuck with impunity
33. keep my pubes shaven
35. run a weekly blog update about this list
37. don’t be lazy
38. don’t be gross
64. expand the Shufflingdead empire

… Continue Reading

Summer ’09 To-Do List: Week 1

May 20, 2009 Newbs 1 Comment

One week has passed since I posted my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Time to check in on my progress.

Currently Pursuing:
7. wake up so early that I can run with impunity
11. get in good enough shape to fuck with impunity
33. keep my pubes shaven
35. run a weekly blog update about this list
64. expand the Shufflingdead empire

… Continue Reading

Summer ’09 To-Do List

May 13, 2009 Newbs 9 Comments

“Well you don’t need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he’s broke, don’t do shit.” -Lawrence, Office Space

Like Lawrence’s cousin, I don’t do shit, I have no life. Well, alright, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I have a life, it is a very dull life, and it consists of the following:

  • sleeping in until at least noon
  • laying on the couch (either to watch TV or play video games)
  • watching videos on YouTube
  • trawling Facebook for pictures of hot girls I know
  • reading personals on Craigslist to make me feel better about myself
  • walking
  • drinking
  • playing Magic
  • playing D&D
  • generally nerding it up

… Continue Reading

Brannigan 2008 Speech and Song

December 8, 2008 Newbs No Comments

Each year at my birthday, known as The Brannigan, I perform a special speech and song. These are the speech and song from Brannigan 2008.

Welcome to Brannigan 2008, Brannigan 5. The finest Brannigan that there has ever been.

It’s now time for the annual speech and song. This year it’s actually a speech followed by a poem.

Speech:

Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Brannigan!
Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are:
Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
Thank you!
… Continue Reading

Brannigan 2007 Speech and Song

November 10, 2008 Newbs No Comments

Each year at my birthday, known as The Brannigan, I perform a special speech and song. These are the speech and song from Brannigan 2007.

Speech:

I’d just like to thank everyone for coming to Brannigan 2007. It’s time now for the annual speech and song. As many of you know, this has been the year of drama, and this speech is dedicated to all of those who got caught up in it. This is called Coronation of Newbius One.
… Continue Reading

The Archives

July 2017
S M T W T F S
« Jul    
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  

Follow!


Like Shufflingdead.com Subscribe to Shufflingdead.com Check out our Youtube Videos Follow us on Twitter