Once upon a time, I wrote a couple of horribly short articles which supposedly contained the English language. These articles were about having fun. They talked of things like “funny hats” and “whipped cream.” I was convinced that I could defy all of societies deeply held beliefs that the only way to have fun was to get ridiculously drunk with a bunch of people. Well, it would seem that all it took was time to prove me wrong. No one ever escapes society, killing you is too easy, they want your mind! Sure you can make the claim that at every point other than the time which you are pouring the rancid liquid down your gullet you don’t drink, but that tends to be a paradox. Now, the easy way to get out of swearing to yourself that you would never drink is to stick a clause in your little “deal.” Something like “I will not drink unless doing so would lead to sex or ridiculous amounts of money” works. A perfectly moral solution to all your problems!