I plan on looking exactly like this.
That’s right, a 19 year old male is going through menopause. How, may you ask, is this possible? Well, I’ve been on extensive gene therapy lately in an effort to turn myself female. The idea was, if I was female, I could probably convince myself to have sex with myself. Turns out I found myself too perverted, creepy and puny to fuck so that didn’t work out, and now I’m dealing with all the side effects of menopause as well as the male “mid-life crisis” in rapid succession. I can handle the hot flashes and the viagra but trying to act like a trend-setting 10 year old is tough.
When I was 10, I remember being quite the social outcast. I was relegated to wander the playground in solitude while all the cool kids who could do things like ride bikes, play sports and swim went off and did all that wacky physical stuff. Now, at the ripe old age of 19, I reflect upon my early years and try to figure out just what drove me to refuse to learn how to actually do any of this stuff. I believe at the time I had a theory that physical activity existed solely to separate intelligent people from the roaming horde of stupidity on earth. I felt that the only reason to gain the ability to do something like ride a bike was so that a person could follow around the cool people. In other words, I planned on succeeding all my peers by using my time to ponder the meaning of life, the universe and everything instead of wasting it on “skating” or “soccer”.
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