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A Bald Man Can Get Shit Done

April 4, 2006 Society No Comments

It’s not biology’s fault that we are all doomed to contend with expensive and unnecessary hair care practices. I’m not sure what purpose evolution had in mind when it left us with these mops of fibers atop our heads, but it seems to me that the tyranny of the barber upon humanity is strictly self-inflicted.
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March 8, 2006 Society No Comments

What is Nks you ask? It’s the sound people make when you hold a door open for them, or possibly if you get your buddy a beer from the fridge while you’re up.

Let me explain. People are lazy, indolent, greedy creatures by nature. Sloth is, in effect, the definition of the human character in 99% of people. This is what causes people to feel the need to shorten everything to an acronym, or to shorten their names from Timothy to just Tim.

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Real Life is Like Star Trek – Part 1

February 15, 2006 Society No Comments

The real world is becoming more and more like a show on Sci-Fi all the time. I can even sort of prove it.

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Drop the Meaningless Manners

January 16, 2006 Society No Comments

I recently had one of the most unexpected social encounters of my life. As I always do, I got on the bus one particular morning, heard the bus driver mumble something at me, grunted back at him, and took my seat. Since I was sitting at the back of the bus, I happened to be the last person off this bus when we arrived at the Transit Station. As I was getting off, the bus driver said “excuse me,” I turned around and he proclaimed “when someone says good morning to you, you say good morning back!” Apparently, the bus driver had welcomed me onto his bus with a “good morning” several minutes earlier, but being the sleep deprived, socially mal-adjusted bastard that I am, I paid no attention. I have come to the conclusion that the anger felt by the bus driver over my apparent rudeness, as well as my own anxiety caused by his confronting me could have both been easily avoided, if only society would do away with all of these so called “niceties.”
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To Hell in a Hand Basket

Ah those old people. Always thinking they know more than us. Just because they’ve lived a hundred years and supposedly fought in fifty wars and walked ten million miles uphill in their elderly relatives’ pajamas, they seem to think they have some sort of life experience or wisdom that can only be gained through many years of life.

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