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I May Be Arrested In Ireland

January 3, 2010 Society No Comments

As of the first day of 2010, it is illegal to speak blasphemy in Ireland. The law was passed in July of 2009, but came into effect just in time for New Year’s. It seems to be a bit of a touchy subject, as the “rules” to the law is that the blasphemy must “intentionally cause outrage” amongst followers of the religion that is targeted. Mind you, at least they’ve broadened to all religions and not just Christianity.

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The Gym Problem

August 27, 2009 Society No Comments

One of my goals this summer was to “get in good enough shape to fuck with impunity.” By that, I meant “get in good enough shape to be a glistening wall of muscle, so toned that no lady could resist.” Most people have, in their lives, gotten exercise: when they were kids they were a part of some after school activity like soccer or karate, when they were teenagers, they acted out through hoodlum-ish behaviour requiring physical strength, when they hit adulthood, they participated in guilt-induced bouts of jogging and weight lifting, and throughout all of this, rode their bikes. Not so, for me. Previous to this summer, my only exercise experience came from the odd walk, clumsy nerd basketball, and that one summer when I jumped rope.

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Pick Your Own Culture

June 1, 2009 Society No Comments

I wrote this article months ago, but its relevance is eternal.

Canada is famously and perpetually confused about its own cultural identity. Some have tried to stitch one together out of hockey and beer; others attempt to find identities by clinging to the traditions of their long-dead relatives. What no one seems to realize is that these things just don’t mean anything. There is no logical reason to take pride in the actions of others, or to place yourself in a community of which you have no meaningful associations.

Being the citizen of a country doesn’t require much. It usually depends upon where you’re born, and is not even under your own control. That’s it. There’s no particular diet you need to adhere to, no passion for any particular sport you need to proclaim, no kind of music that you need to love. All of that, as well as what languages you speak and what religion, if any, you follow are decided by the circumstances under which you were raised and your own personal choices, and none of it is genetic.

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Child Support

May 25, 2009 Society No Comments

I wrote this article months ago. Its relevance is questionable.

An Ontario man named Pasqualino Cornelio was recently ordered to continue paying child support for twin 16-year-olds, who, it turns out, aren’t his. The story has caught a decent amount of attention, yet it doesn’t feel all that unique.

This story smacks of the same kind of disregard for men’s rights which perpetually crop up in family law cases. These kinds of man-gets-fucked-by-child-support stories stay with men. That’s because, in these cases, men’s rights are irrelevant, the courts just want someone who can start paying. As the judge in the Cornelio case pointed out, these decisions are based on the best interest of the child. That argument is extremely persuasive in our society, children are worshipped, but I think it’s time to rethink this whole notion of children before everyone.

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Killing Time, a Guide

August 29, 2007 Society No Comments

I don’t just kill time, I murder it. I slaughter and destroy it. Since about the time I graduated from High School I have found that I no longer consider most of what I do with my time to be remotely useful or worthwhile. Being the preeminent researcher in the field of killing time, in this article I will provide the absolute best ways to waste time. The key is to reduce your free time as much as possible, using the remaining time to do as little as possible, and in ways that provide no satisfaction or enjoyment.

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