Over the many years I have presented you, my loyal reader, with many unique ways of catching yourself a mate. In fact, it’s been at least two years since my very first dating article was put up. It’s surprising then that so very many incredible and seemingly fool-proof plans failed miserably when I put them into practice. However, at long last I have managed to procure myself a young lady. I will now give to you the ultimate report on everything there is to know about the process of finding a mate.