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Dating: The Official Report

February 20, 2003 Dating No Comments

Over the many years I have presented you, my loyal reader, with many unique ways of catching yourself a mate. In fact, it’s been at least two years since my very first dating article was put up. It’s surprising then that so very many incredible and seemingly fool-proof plans failed miserably when I put them into practice. However, at long last I have managed to procure myself a young lady. I will now give to you the ultimate report on everything there is to know about the process of finding a mate.

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Ho Ho Ho, it’s Dating Time!

May 18, 2002 Dating No Comments

I have decoded another message from my superiors so that I may present to you two new dating strategies for all the “lonely hearted” types out there. Now, you’re probably thinking “but, but, none of your other strategies have worked for me!” Well, that’s probably because you’re either a foreigner or a sexy individual such as myself who is more suited to “playing the field.”

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It’s Time for My Favorite Holiday!

February 13, 2002 Dating No Comments

At long last the absolutely most utterly useful, widely celebrated and hotly anticipated holiday of the year has arrived! That’s right, it’s Valentines Day, to celebrate I’m doing what all those other “comedy” sites are doing and writing an article about this most special and time honored holiday.

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The sport of people with death wishes

June 17, 2001 Dating No Comments

Due to the fact that I have never been on a date, it is obviously something I wish did not exist. I think it is an invention of horrible, arrogant people. People who are trying discourage anyone who does not devote their entire life to finding a mate, from ever getting one.

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