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Summer ’09 To-Do List

May 13, 2009 Newbs 9 Comments

“Well you don’t need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he’s broke, don’t do shit.” -Lawrence, Office Space

Like Lawrence’s cousin, I don’t do shit, I have no life. Well, alright, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. I have a life, it is a very dull life, and it consists of the following:

  • sleeping in until at least noon
  • laying on the couch (either to watch TV or play video games)
  • watching videos on YouTube
  • trawling Facebook for pictures of hot girls I know
  • reading personals on Craigslist to make me feel better about myself
  • walking
  • drinking
  • playing Magic
  • playing D&D
  • generally nerding it up


Check out my latest progress reports:

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10
Week 11
Week 12
Week 13
Week 14
Week 15
Week 16

Summer ‘09 To-Do List: Concluding Ruminations

List making has been an obsession of mine over the last few years; I’ve made lists for everything from games I want to beat to places I want to travel to. I think lists are great, it’s very satisfying to cross things off of them. I’ve decided to start up a new list, it’s not going to be a master list of all the other lists, or even a remotely exhaustive list. This is something like a cross between a summer to-do list, and a life’s goals list, with summer ending whenever I say it ends. I’m going to come back each Wednesday and discuss my progress with the various goals listed, and cross them out as I accomplish them. Yes, this kind of to-do list is very “what I did with my blog in 2004,” but what is Shufflingdead if not 5 years behind the rest of the world? Names have been removed to, as they say, “protect the innocent.”

  1. write every day
  2. replay some of my old favourite games

  3. complete Ocarina of Time 100%
  4. unlock Luigi in Super Mario Galaxy
  5. make another D&D campaign
  6. run
  7. wake up so early that I can run with impunity
  8. get driver’s license
  9. destroy [person] in an argument
  10. fuck

  11. get in good enough shape to fuck with impunity
  12. get off from a blowjob

  13. write like death is upon me, and that my efforts will be the only thing for which I will be remembered
  14. make more money than God and then become God
  15. reign fire down upon the wicked
  16. become a video game ninja
  17. cackle like a comic book villain

  18. read Watchmen
  19. start a podcast
  20. start doing game review videos again
  21. collaborate with [person] creatively

  22. get my writing published and get paid for it
  23. clean out my porn folder
  24. clean out my music folder
  25. finish fixing Shufflingdead.com
  26. come up with a list to post in my room of decrees to live by
  27. don’t spend any money until I’m rich

  28. when I’m rich, spend lots of money
  29. move out of my parent’s house
  30. buy a house
  31. buy a car
  32. buy more Magic cards than there are cells in my body
  33. keep my pubes shaven

  34. own a godly video game collection (to go along with my godly place in the universe)
  35. run a weekly blog update about this list
  36. don’t succumb to The Man
  37. don’t be lazy
  38. don’t be gross

  39. buy a suit
  40. watch 2001: A Space Odyssey
  41. get my passport
  42. perform oral sensual pleasuring on a woman
  43. write a novel
  44. be TIME’s person of the year AGAIN
  45. perform stand-up comedy
  46. avenge my childhood
  47. go walking with [person]

  48. sing Kelly Clarkson at karaoke
  49. go on a vacation outside of North America
  50. visit western Europe
  51. visit eastern Europe
  52. visit Japan
  53. have an orgy with a bunch of Japanese women in my Tokyo hotel room
  54. titty fuck Fuko, Anna Ohura, and/or Hitomi Tanaka
  55. beat all levels in Donkey Kong Country 2
  56. meet a celebrity
  57. be a celebrity
  58. be published on a website other than my own
  59. become death, the destroyer of worlds
  60. be able to say “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.”

  61. finish [person]‘s website
  62. see [person]‘s tits
  63. delete fake users from Shufflingdead forums
  64. expand the Shufflingdead empire
  65. jerk off tonight
  66. go to Animethon

  67. conquer death
  68. clean out university email account
  69. run a successful gaming website
  70. clean out my old school junk

  71. buy [person] a SomethingAwful forums account
  72. transplant and trim my bonsai

  73. upload old, embarrassing pictures of my friends to Facebook
  74. attend my university convocation

  75. learn how to ride a bike
  76. learn French well enough to watch Amelie without subtitles
  77. have Shufflingdead updated three times a week

  78. build a Lego tower out of all my Lego
  79. draw Amy Lee
  80. read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
  81. read Mona Lisa Overdrive
  82. earn 800 Club Nintendo Coins and get something awesome with them

  83. go to the opera
  84. go to a musical
  85. see another of Shakespeare’s plays performed
  86. go on a hot-air-balloon ride
  87. learn how to swim
  88. own a telescope
  89. own Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

  90. watch all of Freaks and Geeks
  91. go to a free yoga lesson
  92. try zorbing
  93. win NaNoWriMo
  94. attend the real Olympic games
  95. be elected to political office
  96. become Doctor Newbs
  97. take a design course
  98. see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

  99. be the Nerd Olympics champion
  100. two chicks at the same time

30/100 Goals Accomplished
Strikethrough indicates goals I have accomplished.
Bold indicates goals I am currently pursuing.

Currently there are "9 comments" on this Article:

  1. [...] Newbs To-Do List August 26th, 2009 by Newbs – No comments I’m now on week fifteen of my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Here’s the weekly [...]

  2. [...] Newbs To-Do List August 19th, 2009 by Newbs – No comments I’m now on week fourteen of my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Here’s the weekly [...]

  3. [...] Newbs To-Do List August 5th, 2009 by Newbs – No comments I’m now on week twelve of my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Here’s the weekly [...]

  4. [...] 8 Newbs To-Do List July 8th, 2009 by Newbs – No comments I’m now on week eight of my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Here’s the weekly [...]

  5. [...] To-Do List: Week 3 Newbs To-Do List June 3rd, 2009 by Newbs – No comments Three weeks into my Summer ‘09 To-Do List. Progress [...]

  6. [...] summer of 2009 saw me run a certain To-Do List here at Shufflingdead.com, and to great success. The endeavour led me to all kinds of fun [...]

  7. [...] Newbs To-Do List August 12th, 2009 by Newbs – No comments I’m now on week thirteen of my Summer ’09 To-Do List. Here’s the weekly [...]

  8. [...] Summer ‘09 To-Do List: Concluding Ruminations Newbs To-Do List September 9th, 2009 by Newbs – No comments As promised, I would like to offer a few concluding thoughts on my Summer ’09 To-Do List. [...]

  9. Geraldine says:

    I stumbled upon this website while looking for new ideas to add to my summer to do list, and I must say that out of all the lists I have seen, your list is EPIC. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and thank you for posting this up I was able to get some great ideas out of it.

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