Newest Emails
Send in advice, complaints, random strings of characters, or whatever. Send me an e-mail. I’ll post and respond to it.
E-mail me!
[Benjamin Wilhelm]
Subject : attention loser Date : Mon, 25 Feb 2002 20:05:03 -0700This is a condensed version of the email.
your IB website was a great waste of time
www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!
www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!www.angelfire.com/weird/newbs is a gay site!that’s all I have to say, I hope I wasted some of your worthless time…
Newbs Response:Thank you for the incredibly insightful news! I was not aware my site possessed homosexual qualities, this is very enlightening.
[Yo Momma]
Subject: the clues Date: Wed, 20 Feb 2002 13:29:14 -0700Well, as promised, i am sending you weekly emails! Each with a clue to who i am. In no time at all, you’ll know almost everything about me.
This weeks clue is:
There is a building at the schoolof earth and ocean science named after me.-The Heckler
ps this will give you my first and last names.
Newbs Response:I haven’t got a clue what he’s talking about. I did a little research on the Alberta School of Earth and Ocean Science and couldn’t find the names of any of the buildings there. If anyone knows, email me or I may never know the true identity of this evil genius.
[Yo Momma]
Subject: I wrote a little poem for you! Date: February 11, 2002 12:22 PMDear Newbs,
Here is a little poem for you:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Newbius Maximus, you are a dork
When I see you, I want to hork
You make me want to take my eyes out with a forkNewbs, Newbs, Newbs, you are very sad
Especially when you ask if you are a ‘sexy lad’
Do my harrassing emails make you mad?Andrew, can I call you Andy?
It would appear that you are very randy!
Would it scare you if I sent you candy?They might be poisoned, they may be not
You might be stabbed, you may be shot
I might get away, I may be caughtGetting away with murder can be a difficult task
I’ll find a way, and I’ll wear a mask
Or I might just drug you, from a hip flaskIf I’m caught, I know what I’ll do
I’ll get a gun and kill all of you
And then I’ll get Johnnie Cochran and I’ll sue!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~P.S. I’m changing my name from Yo Mamma to ‘The Heckler’.
Newbs Response:“Andrew” would love some candy, especially if it is poisoned! When mailing this “Andrew” person the delicious treats be sure to include a return name and address.
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