Magic Card of the Week: Guile

February 28, 2011 Magic No Comments


This week’s Magic Card is the Elemental Incarceration, Guile. Welcome to the show, Guile!

This giant blue jackass rocks his way out of your hand for the standard “big bastard” cost of 6 mana, and you get a 6/6 out of it. Pretty good deal, right? But being a blue jackass, Guile brings a bunch of bullshit with him to the battlefield.

First, he has to be blocked by 3 or more creatures. So if you’re attacking with him, chances are he will either go unblocked or get an opportunity to knock off a couple of your opponent’s creatures.

Second, you’re playing a blue deck, so he’ll help you out with that too. If one of your already-awesome Counterspells counters an incoming spell, Guile will let you play that spell for free yourself. So now your blue deck is dropping terrors, lightning bolts, anything else your enemy is foolish enough to try and cast. Including creatures.

And third, if, by some miracle, someone manages to gang-block or nuke Guile, he just gets shuffled back into your library to return at some other random time to tear up the game all over again. Just a terrible bastard to try to deal with.

Question of the Week: Which is the Best Star Wars Movie?

February 25, 2011 Question 2 Comments

Which is the Best Star Wars Movie?

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Image: Star Wars Episode III poster. Copyright Lucasfilm.

No deep questions this week, no invasive questioning, and no bet placing on Newbs’s competitive performances. Just a quick, gut-check answer to a question debated by nerds everywhere.

Give me your answer. Which is the Best Star War Movie?

Magic Card of the Week: Thrun, the Last Troll

February 21, 2011 Magic No Comments


Nerd Olympics 2011 has come to a close, and the last nerds standing are spending today nursing their wounded pride, easing themselves back into real life with some low-key gaming, and showering off the sweat and tears of competition.

In honor of this legendary event, this week’s Magic Card is Thrun, the Last Troll. Thrun can be found in the Mirrodin Besieged set, which we used for our Sealed Tournament at Nerd Olympics.

Thrun, the Last Troll is a 4/4 green creature, and comes with the typical Troll ability of Regeneration. 2 mana will let you save him from certain death should he be ambushed by someone bigger than he is. This bulky bastard also cannot be the target of hostile abilities or spells including counterspells, making him impressively difficult to single out for destruction.

And really, the icing on the cake with this guy is the cost. He is available for the mega-low price of 4 mana, letting you bring him to the field earlier than most players will be able to deal with, before their own heavy-hitters come online. This guy is truly a fucking menace.

Magic Card of the Week: Vampire Nighthawk

February 14, 2011 Magic No Comments


With the legendary competition of Nerd Olympics just days away, players are frantically scouring lands far and wide searching for that one missing card to their otherwise perfect deck. Keeping that in mind, this week’s Magic Card is a useful creature for rounding out any deck bent on continuing the yearly tradition of my disappointment in this tournament.

Vampire Nighthawk comes into play for a mere three mana, a price more than worth it. For a 2/3 flying creature, the cost is pretty standard. But WotC pulled out all the stops for this prick, and awarded him the Deathtouch and Lifelink abilities as well, making him a force to be reckoned with.

He can fly over your opponent’s defenses to bleed him dry, and use the lifelink to recharge your own health in the process. Or if need be, he can use Deathtouch to personally drop almost any creature threatening your magical self.

Either way, throw a couple of Vampire Nighthawks into your bullshit black or sparkly vampire deck and experience the overpoweredness for yourself. Hell, splash black into your all-white soldier deck, this guy is worth it.

Magic Card of the Week: Mordant Dragon

February 7, 2011 Magic No Comments


Hailing from the Worldwake set, Mordant Dragon is this week’s Magic Card.

At first glance, Mordant Dragon is just like many of the other flying lizard behemoths. He’s a 5/5 flying at 6 mana cost. He’s got a firebreathing-type ability, letting you spend additional mana to temporarily boost his power.

But then this sneaky scaly jerk reveals his other ability. After he damages a player, he does a bombing run on your opponent’s forces on his way home.

He deals an equal amount of damage to any creature as he just did to your opponent’s face, assassinating any unlucky enough to have been singled out for special attention.

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