Internet Forums

For a great long time I have traversed many, many internet forums. I have seen the rise and fall of various communities throughout the internet. I’ve seen small clique forums explode into internet behemoths and then self-destruct just as fast. I have fought alongside and against all manner of forum posters, from the insignificant newbies to high-up administrators. Seeing as how my very own little “internet forums” have seen unprecedented growth lately, I thought it might be a good idea to detail most all of the people which you will encounter on forums like my own.

The Rageaholic

The rage within a rageaholic will be set off the instant anyone says anything on a forum whatsoever. As soon as the rage is unleashed, the rageaholic will make war upon all members of a forum until they all crack and submit to his iron will. The rageaholic is driven by pure rage towards all humanity and his quest shall not be complete until all bow down before his ever present rage. Until everyone recognizes that the rageaholic is the only one intelligent enough to post he shall not be satisfied.

The Supreme Anti-Nerd Troll

The Supreme Anti-Nerd Troll’s purpose is to take several hours every day from his busy and important life to teach the members of an internet community just what terrible people they are. With all of the softball the Troll plays and all the women he bangs, he knows how to have a good time and would just like to inform the members of a forum that they are wasting their lives. I enjoy the antics of the Anti-Nerd Troll because without him I would never have realized that I really ought to get laid.

The Power Tripping Admin

With all of these hooligans running around, eventually some action is going to have to be taken. This is where the Power Tripping Admin comes in. The Admin is the one crazy enough to be paying for the website or anyone who sucked off the guy paying for the website and was therefore given a place of power on the forums. The Admin will come down upon all aggressors with an iron fist, crushing all those trying to destroy the beautiful kingdom which he has created. He will take his job way too seriously, and make long winded speeches to the masses where he will preach the glory of the forums, and explain the complex plans he has for using his forums for one day taking over the world.

The Lurker

Lurkers are a hard group to describe because they don’t post. Lurkers simply read posts, they fear human interaction even on the internet, and shy away from humanity in general. A forum lurker can occasionally be coaxed out if a particularly great posting situations presents itself and make the utterly greatest posts a forum has ever witnessed.

The Penis-Enhancing Never-Posting Registree

All manner of forums will eventually lure all manner of people to register. Occasionally someone will be pressured into registering for a forum that they’re never actually going to post in. These fellers are never to be removed from a forums database of users because that would diminish the size of the forum-rulers E-cock. Cock size for those of us with websites is determined in large part by the number of people we can lure into joining our forums. It doesn’t matter how cluttered a forums’ member list becomes, it’s always better to have a lot of people registered for the sake of a larger number of people registered.

The Forum Cheerleader

Forum Cheerleaders are the greatest invention forums have ever witnessed. They spend their lives posting away, creating discussion on every topic imaginable, enlightening and igniting every urge in me to converse on all matters in the known universe. Not only that, but they are an exclusively female group! They therefore cause a forum to fill with posts and become large, and they cause my penis to fill with blood and become erect. Since most forum members are male, the introduction of Forum Cheerleaders will automatically make able the discussion of all male-female relations and thus ignite all holy debate on all matters sexual. Forum Cheerleaders love the cock.

If you match any of these descriptions, post on my forums. If you don’t match any of these descriptions, post on my forums. If you have any thought in your head or any purpose in living, POST ON MY FORUMS.