The Alliance is Strong!
After much deliberation, “The Alliance” has chosen me to be their presence on the internet. At first they were going to set up their own site but that was decided against when they realized that this way I’ll be the one getting killed. Now, let’s get down to business!
As you are well aware of, The Alliance is comprised of mostly anonymous scary internet people. The most powerful and outspoken leaders of our group have, however, revealed their true identities and today I will tell you just who runs this little operation of ours.
Supreme Chancelor – That Zoom Zoom Kid
Everyone should know by now that the rebellion is led by child mastermind, the Zoom Zoom Kid. Let me clear something up, despite recent rumors, Supreme Chancellor “Zoom Zoom” will not soon be knocked off. The rebellion is still led by this stalwart genius.
Top Advisors – Mario Brothers
With seemingly infinite lives and tactical knowledge beyond all comparison the “bros” are a significant part of The Alliance. I once heard a story claiming that the Mario Brothers took on an entire empire of turtles and funny walking brown lumpy things by themselves!
Really Cool Warrior Guys – Yoda, Ganon
This invincible duo of unimaginable power are defending our organizations honor at all times. With their unstoppable powers, Gannon’s in magical ability, and Yoda’s “force” these two can take even the most massive Wal Mart hordes our enemies could ever send at us.
Princesses of Pleasure – Toadstool, Zelda
You hardly expect our army to fight without a little encouragement. During the Second World War many “poster girls” became famous simply because it was their pictures which “reminded” the troops of their wives every night. These two beautiful ladies get our warriors to fight with the greatest of valor simply by removing their tops and showing the troops their ample “breasts.”
Silent Masses – Females of All Kinds
The largest group of members is the silent masses of young females who provide our army with exceptional greatness with their illustrious wonderfulness. Obviously, if you feel you’re already anything like the females pictured above then you’ll want to join immediately! You know you want to, with so many ladies such as yourself already with us you’re guaranteed to not be taken advantage of too much. Join us.
Due to the lack of text in this article, I once again ask you to join my cause. Membership is free and you will receive a snazzy card with your alias on it which you can print off, all you have to do is email me and request membership. Just tell me your alias or some kind of nick name, I can’t send you a card without that.
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