How to Get Laid in University

You know what? It’s true what the movies say, it’s really easy to pick up chicks while attending University. After just one semester I’ve already gotten laid more times than I can count. Let me share with you now a few of the strategies that I’ve found to work best.

The first really successful strategy that I discovered was the “talking to attractive quiet girl strategy.” There had developed an odd scenario before a particular class of mine, where every day the same few people would get there really early to stand around in the hall and wait. Being the busy, important guy that I am, I was one of these people. I quickly noticed a girl at this little gathering that stuck out, she was hot. I’m not talking about any normal definition of hot, you know, involving big tits, dick sucking lips and a tight ass (though she did have the fairest body in all the land). I’m not even talking about any of those fetishes I have, she didn’t have red hair and freckles, she didn’t look really young and wear braces, and she didn’t wear a choker and gaming t-shirts. No, I mean that this girl somehow transcended all that into some kind of category of lovely that I cannot even define. One day I managed to talk to her before heading into class, I even managed to continue the conversation long enough that we went into class together and sat together. Why, before I new it we were talking all the time. Oh… uhh, second thought, I did not pick this girl up. She started ignoring and avoiding me after a few days. It was a positive learning experience though; start conversations with girls and you’re likely to end up with ones that have virtually no interest in saying anything to you. It’s impossible to get a girl if she doesn’t communicate her need for cock!

Carrying this incredible piece of knowledge, I moved onto my second victim. Instead of trying to talk to girls, I was going to position myself beside one who dressed in a manner that I have a particular fetish for and see if she started talking to me. And so I did just that, sat down in another class of mine, did not open my mouth. It worked. Yes, even I am amazed at my genius some times. She talked, I talked, she had deep knowledge of all the nerdy-ness that inhabits my life. Truly, I thought, this time will work. Hmm… I just realized, I didn’t pick this girl up either. Turned out she had some kind of “boyfriend.” You’ve got to look out for that at University, sometimes those ladies are taken. I’ve even heard reports of engaged ladies and married ladies, that shit’s fucked up. Well anyway, this again was a good learning experience; don’t go after girls with boyfriends, not ones who aren’t willing to cheat on him, anyway.

Armed now with two rock solid pieces of women seducing knowledge I moved onto my third target. Or rather, targets, I should say. You see this time I set my sights on two girls, I knew they talked because I had communicated with them before, and I knew they didn’t have boyfriends because, well, they seemed to be dating each other. This time for sure, I was going to get laid. Things started off really well too, these were girls who I could talk to about my nerd habits, and these were girls who didn’t have boyfriends. I was really making headway. Shit, uhm, actually this strategy didn’t get me laid, come to think of it. It occurred to me after awhile that no matter how swimmingly I could get along with a human female, if she was taken by another human female, I probably didn’t have a chance in hell. The lesson is, obviously, don’t go after girls with girlfriends, unless of course they’re clearly communicating some kind of want to include you in their “together time.”

Sadly, those were all the strategies I tried in my first semester of University. Yeah, it turns out I didn’t get laid, didn’t get any action at all. So I suppose it’s not true what the movies say, maybe it’s actually impossible to get laid in University. Or maybe it’s possible and I just haven’t banged out a blue print for it yet. Whatever the case may be, I’ll be back in school shortly and I will immediately start forming new tactics, based on what I’ve now learned, and we’ll see where I get.