Home » Business » Currently Reading:

Office Sidekick Needed

September 7, 2008 Business No Comments

Competition Number QX-63957-XR

Location: The Office

Job Classification: Office Sidekick. Permanent Full-Time

Openings: 1

Open Until Vacancy is Filled.

Salary Range: To Be Negotiated


As the assistant to the assistant, the office sidekick shall report to everyone in the office. Work tasks include answering the telephone, filing, sorting the mail, faxing, and assorted clerical duties as assigned. Numerous work-related consultations are required to take place throughout the day.


The successful candidate shall possess the ability to listen carefully and nod at appropriate times as massive office bitching occurs. Initiative in the form of uttering such encouraging phrases as ‘I agree’ and ‘I most certainly do know what you mean’ is preferred.

The ability to avoid office rumours is required. Must be able to wear sweaters for long periods of time. Candidates named Chadwick, Beatrice, Eunice, and Worthington are preferred. A moustache is an asset.

Successful completion of our rigorous skill-testing examination, as well as a criminal record check, is required. We thank everyone for their interest in employment with our organization; however, only those deemed worthy shall be contacted for an interview. Candidates with lesser qualifications may be considered at a lower classification and salary scale.

Comment on this Article:

Related Posts

November 2010 NPD numbers: Codblops reigns

9 Dec 2010

With Christmas approaching, and the immense marketing effort of Microsoft and Sony to push Kinect and Move in their most desperate phase, NPD numbers matter more than ever. November saw Nintendo take back their majority slice of the pie. Nintendo sold 1.5 million DSes and 1.27 million Wiis. Microsoft pushed …

What the flippity flap is cyber Monday?

28 Nov 2010

Editor’s note: According to Urban Dictionary, “flippity flap” is the act of a penis having spasms and going “out of control.” As you probably already know, Black Friday occurred this past Friday in the United States. Black Friday is, of course, an annual religious holiday in the United States in …

October 2010 NPD numbers exist, are terrible

17 Nov 2010

Despite the NPD’s recently announced iron-fisted grip of their American video game sales results, numbers have managed to slip out thanks to company’s releasing their own numbers. Thus, we have the pie-chart above. And oh, what a pie. For the month of October 2010, Nintendo managed to take top spot, …

The Archives

July 2017
« Jul    


Like Shufflingdead.com Subscribe to Shufflingdead.com Check out our Youtube Videos Follow us on Twitter