Competition Number QX-63957-XR
Location: The Office
Job Classification: Office Sidekick. Permanent Full-Time
Open Until Vacancy is Filled.
Salary Range: To Be Negotiated
As the assistant to the assistant, the office sidekick shall report to everyone in the office. Work tasks include answering the telephone, filing, sorting the mail, faxing, and assorted clerical duties as assigned. Numerous work-related consultations are required to take place throughout the day.
The successful candidate shall possess the ability to listen carefully and nod at appropriate times as massive office bitching occurs. Initiative in the form of uttering such encouraging phrases as ‘I agree’ and ‘I most certainly do know what you mean’ is preferred.
The ability to avoid office rumours is required. Must be able to wear sweaters for long periods of time. Candidates named Chadwick, Beatrice, Eunice, and Worthington are preferred. A moustache is an asset.
Successful completion of our rigorous skill-testing examination, as well as a criminal record check, is required. We thank everyone for their interest in employment with our organization; however, only those deemed worthy shall be contacted for an interview. Candidates with lesser qualifications may be considered at a lower classification and salary scale.