Neckbeard & Wolfshirt: APOCALYPS3

Star Trek Episode of the Week: 11:59

This week’s Star Trek episode is “11:59,” Voyager‘s fifth season tribute to sleep.

Plot: This episode flips between Janeway slowly coming to the sad realization that her ancestor, Shannon O’Donnell, was not an astronaut, did not work on any Mars missions, and was a mere consultant on the Millennium Gate, and the tale of the real Shannon O’Donnell, who was, in fact, just as boring as Janeway discovers her to be.

Character Development: In this episode, we learn that Janeway is a fraud of a scientist and researcher. Despite having lived a cushy Federation life, with unimaginable amounts of information easily available, she has never been bothered to do any serious research into the family history which inspired her career. She also believes that the Great Wall of China was one of the few man-made objects on Earth visible from space prior to the 22nd century, an absolute myth.

Forehead of the Week: Since there are no new real aliens introduced in this episode, I’m going to go with Janeway’s doppelganger ancestor, Shannon O’Donnell. In this episode, the crew of Voyager, along with the viewing audience, is subjected to the dull tale of O’Donnell, a consultant on a building project. Her only noteworthy characteristic is her predatory sexual nature toward geriatrics.

Memorable Quote: There aren’t any.

[Magic] First Rise of the Eldrazi spoiler online

The first spoiler for the upcoming Magic: the Gathering set “Rise of the Eldrazi” has hit the internet, and it’s quite the reveal. Check out “Kozilek, Butcher of Truth,” our first glimpse of the Eldrazi, a type of creature which will feature prominently in the upcoming set.

He’s an absolutely massive 12/12 with a list of abilities that would make a Planeswalker jealous. The drawback: that’s right, he costs 10. Now, that’s 10 colourless mana, and cards like Eye of Ugin should help to get him out. I know I’m looking forward to finding some (monetarily) cheap Eldrazi and throwing them in my Urzatron deck just for fun.

Let speculation on the rest of the set begin. There are likely only a few of these giant Eldrazi running around, maybe one for each colour. Rumours are swirling that this will be a set largely composed of colourless and split colour cards. That sounds a little wild, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

Sources: MTG Salvation, MTG Salvation

Metroid: Other M trailer collection

One of the games spotlighted at Nintendo’s recent press conference was Metroid: Other M. There were playable demos, and a new trailer was shown to the press. For whatever strange, Nintendo-logic reasons, none of this new footage was made available to the public. Well, a quick trailer, what I would describe as a “character teaser” has finally been released, here it is:

That’s not terribly exciting, but the leaked conference trailer is a little more interesting, despite being shaky-cam. Hit the jump to check out Samus’ well-formed new ass.

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